AIBU to be pissed off over these replies?

[CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe]

We are currently tying down numbers for the Christmas celebration.

Various emails were sent out to all and then, for those that didn’t reply we sent out a final communication to individuals just asking “Are you planning on attending?”

I sent half and so did DH. We have full view of each other’s in box for ease.

She sent a response “I’d like to attend the meal but as I’m off sick (she has surgery plannned with a rest period after) I didnt think I could attend”

DH replied “you will be off sick, doesn’t mean you can’t socialise”

Her response was “thank you x you can keep me company on the table”

It’s a partner dinner and dance so I found this quite a strange response but left it.

DH responded “great” she came back with “you are the best boss and person Ihave ever met xx”

He sent “don’t be daft” to which she responded “you love it”

I’m just sitting here thinking wtf! We have been married for years, grown teens, no issues etc is she flirting with him?

Nope, not my style at all.

I won’t feed her drama although, I really don’t want to go to our own Christmas party now, I just know I won’t enjoy it now.

What does the ‘you love it’ mean though?
It does imply a shared history of banter? Flirting?

I wouldn’t be happy in your shoes OP.

What has your DH said about it? Does he say there has been any other flirting? Do you think he might have been egging her on a bit?

It seems strange that it was so overtly flirting. It also seems really odd your DH didn’t shut it down when she said about sitting next to him, it was clearly crossing a line in tone and I’m sure your DH knew that.

Looking back is there anything else to make you feel uneasy OP?

What does your dh say?

He said he will sort it, what ever that means

I’m so fed up right now, I’m not thinking straight tbh

“You love it” and the x after the thank you really does cross a boundary for me.

My DH is charismatic, friendly and normal, she has taken this the wrong way imo

Hang on a min, you say this event is a partner dinner and dance. Do you mean partners of the company or do you mean company employees and their significant others?

OP I get what you're saying. hrth in detail but it could be work banter and you love it could mean it's just the way work is.
Light-hearted. it could really be light-hearted.
I'd be keeping an eye open though.
👍

Of course your DH will "sort it". That means he'll talk to her without you knowing the content of the conversation. Don't be quick to assume he is innocent. He knew you'd see the email but she didn't know, so maybe she was talking like they always do and he was being cagey to cover his arse

And PS do not confront. You must get evidence one way or the other or you'll just get a coordinated denial.

Did he say anything else? Did he seem evasive?

Sounds like just a bit of cheeky banter tbh. I'd ignore it (whilst keeping a discreet eye on her).

Shes flirting but not "I wanna sleep with you" flirting more of she thinks she has him wrapped round her little finger flirting "oh I just have to flutter my eyelashes and say something nice and I get longer brakes " type of thing well thats how it reads to me . Is he older than her ? By about 10yrs +
It's the "omg your the best boss an nicest person ever" line it's too much ask him if hes let couple minor things slide with her maybe like lateness and stuff.
And ynbu that would annoy me

Some good posts some not so
Don't confront. It's probably work banter.
Watch and wait. I hope it's nothing.

I think it's ok to write like this,especially if you know the person quite well. I would write things like that as in jokey. I am not known for any flirting,no way, I write a lot of proper letters,and always put jokey things in them.

Unless there's more to this, I think you're overthinking it.

I had to read your OP a couple of times because you've not explained who "she"is. I assume you and your DH are the bosses and she's an employee. I think it's quite natural for her to assume she shouldn't come to the Christmas event when she's on sick leave, and if she's recovering from surgery then the company at the table comment might simply mean that she won't be fit to get up and dance.

Just sounds like a chatty, friendly exchange to me.

Is her DH going to the party with her?

I do stuff like this. I'm not flirting, or at least I don't think I am. I don't do it only to men.
It's an ego boost when someone has done something in my favour. Some people enjoy them, others don't and you realise this quickly. And yea I will sometimes say you love it, because I'm teasing them about the ego boosts. It's manipulative, not flirty. I also flirt to manipulate which is completely different.

I have also sent accidental x. I have friends who do this in every message. If a few of us especially are messaging each other during the day, then it just becomes an automatic reaction. It's like an air kiss. Sent them to gp's, consultants, lawyers, bosses, complaints departments, hr, teachers etc. Both text and air kisses.

Unless you have more suspisions I would completely forget about it. Not everyone who interacts with members of the opposite sex wants to fuck them. Give him some trust, he knows her and will know if it was flirty or not. Trust him to know if flirty he would also mention it.

Plus there's also a possibility that she's not thinking straight because of the upcoming surgery. I don't think he's actually saying great in response to the table comment but that she's attending.

And actually reading about the best boss, well he is. Come on it pops up often that if you are on sick leave then you are forbidden from leaving the house ever. Not even if it relates directly to your health. Not allowed to do literally anything apart from lay in bed. And some of those people are bosses.

She’s a bit try hard.

Your DH has done NOTHING wrong.

You should really be above letting something like this ruin your Christmas party.

I would say that sarcastically to a boss I hate or as a bit of fun to one I like but do not fancy. Stop reading too much into it.

Inappropriate.

Also I got the impression he was encouraging a bit but could be wrong. I'd be pissed off too! Keep an eye on that one I'd say.

update

Not a great one;

He “dealt with it” by telling her to stop emailing because it’s ping pong and against our company policy...

Not, stop sending me stupid emails, stop being inappropriate just stop emailing (I’m reading this as “because Mrs C can read them”)

I have so much going on right now, don’t really have time to bother about this but it’s sitting in the back of my head.

I think it’s because I’m in the office tomorrow with her there, I feel weird, most of me knows it’s probably just banter, she is lovely, has a young family and her own DH

I just can’t rationalise it in my own head, I’m cross with them both

How has it been on the office with her today op?

I don’t work with them on a day to day basis, haven’t seen her

No more messages that I can see

Oh, thought you were going to be in the office with her yesterday?