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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off over these replies?

73 replies

CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 20/10/2019 20:41

We are currently tying down numbers for the Christmas celebration.

Various emails were sent out to all and then, for those that didn’t reply we sent out a final communication to individuals just asking “Are you planning on attending?”

I sent half and so did DH. We have full view of each other’s in box for ease.

She sent a response “I’d like to attend the meal but as I’m off sick (she has surgery plannned with a rest period after) I didnt think I could attend”

DH replied “you will be off sick, doesn’t mean you can’t socialise”

Her response was “thank you x you can keep me company on the table”

It’s a partner dinner and dance so I found this quite a strange response but left it.

DH responded “great” she came back with “you are the best boss and person Ihave ever met xx”

He sent “don’t be daft” to which she responded “you love it”

I’m just sitting here thinking wtf! We have been married for years, grown teens, no issues etc is she flirting with him?

OP posts:
RLOU30 · 20/10/2019 21:48

have her sit with you both on your tab!e (with DH knowing the arrangement). If anything is going on he will not want you both on the same table and it will be obvious.
I wouldn't reply that "he will be dancing with wife" etc. You could end up looking like a fool :(

RLOU30 · 20/10/2019 21:50

X post Poppin !

MajesticWhine · 20/10/2019 21:59

Yes, she sounds inappropriate, for sure.

(I know this is missing the point but I always think if I'm well enough to go out for dinner then I'm well enough to go to work)

Poppinjay · 20/10/2019 22:03

I know this is missing the point but I always think if I'm well enough to go out for dinner then I'm well enough to go to work

Just like going on holiday, it depends on the reason you are off sick and the nature of your job.

AppleKatie · 20/10/2019 22:05

She would be sat on my right hand side for sure.

I would also continue to monitor their email communication and make it clear to DH that I felt she was inappropriate.

Jodie626 · 20/10/2019 22:06

I'm sorry but that was 100% flirty and implies that they have flirted before. Both husband and her are to blame if she knows he is married.

BumbleBeee69 · 20/10/2019 22:18

She's ruddy GAGGING for it .. jesus christ.. just look at her replies... FFS

flouncyfanny · 20/10/2019 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Interestedwoman · 20/10/2019 22:34

I think your hubby should have a word with her- he could just say that emailing etc in that way is unprofessional.

ReanimatedSGB · 20/10/2019 22:44

And you are involved in organising your H's work Xmas do why, exactly?

user1486131602 · 20/10/2019 22:50

Actually, I’d reply as you and say I’m just organising the seating, which side of my husband would you like to sit on?
Then she know you know what’s been said!

WagtailRobin · 20/10/2019 22:56

That reads like banter to me, not flirting!

KatyCarrCan · 20/10/2019 22:56

I'd assume the OP and her DH run a business together.
Has there been anything else that's been suspicious OP? It seems odd that she'd jump from nothing inappropriate to flirty emails with kisses.
She may have misinterpreted your DH messaging her individually and then saying she can attend when off sick. If I were him, I'd have replied saying 'I'll let Cheeky know you've confirmed. We're both chasing down final numbers today.' It lets her know it wasn't a personal request from him and that you know about the emails.

MyKingdomForBrie · 20/10/2019 22:58

Well it could sound like they've had a conversation like it before but that could also have easily come out of the blue, she could be voicing an assumption.

Sorrywhat · 20/10/2019 23:11

Your reaction seems very over the top. Yes, it seems like she is flirting (weird), how old is she? Young people see the phrase ‘you love it’ as a flirtatious comment. Honestly, your husband could tell her he had vomited on the way to work and her attempt at turning it flirtatious would involve the phrase ‘you love it’.

Don’t read too far into this. I wonder if your husband was also a bit cringed out by these comments. Did he reply? I’d assume not. Sounds to me like he was just trying to make her feel welcome to a party. What a nice man, if so.

mummyway · 20/10/2019 23:47

She is flirting with him. Disinvite her. Do not let this grow and speak with your husband about this

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 21/10/2019 05:19

Sorrywhat she isn’t “young” past that point your response makes n9 sense to me.

I don’t want her sitting next to me, we deserve a nice evening togeather that doesn’t include her.

OP posts:
Limpshade · 21/10/2019 05:27

She's absolutely flirting but do not I REPEAT do not reply. If you do, it's just going to become more of a "thing" and will insinuate that she's somehow driven a wedge between the two of you, which, by the sounds of it, will be just what she wants!

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 21/10/2019 05:38

I agree limp I want nothing more than to call her out but I know it would only add fuel to the fire.

I’m raging

OP posts:
Hesafriendfromwork · 21/10/2019 05:42

Just sit her away from you both.

I assume she has a plus one?

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 21/10/2019 05:46

She is married we small children, ours are grown now

OP posts:
Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 21/10/2019 05:47

with

OP posts:
Jux · 21/10/2019 12:45

Wait and see.

I once hugged my specialist nurse. I'd gone in feelin sick, tired, miserable, hopeless, and she lifted me - only by doing her job, btw. She's really good but also v professional. I was so embarrassed that I'd overstepped the bounds of our nurse/patient relationship, but decided in the end not to contact her to apologise, instead to just leave it in the past and to show through my future behaviour that I was capable of behaving normally!

Maybe she just felt lifted knowing that she was still welcome to attend the party? Overstepped the mark as a result and it won't happen again as she's just as embarrassed about it as I was?

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 21/10/2019 20:59

No Jux you don’t work with that person 3 days a week, I believe she knows what she is doing.

OP posts:
VolcanionSteamArtillery · 21/10/2019 21:04

"Good grief did you two mean for that to come over quite so inappropriate." In the group chat. Probably a bad plan but I'd be tempted...