To remove myself from family WhatsApp

[ilovearcticroll]

We have recently started a family WhatsApp group so that we could send messages once rather than lots of times when arranging to meet up. My sil, who has a history of posting school reports and the like on Facebook, has now started to post test scores and frequent achievement updates for my nephew. I do like to hear about them, but it doesn't do my head any good to hear daily how marvellous he is. My mil will want to hear, and I'd expect her to want to, but I don't need that level of detail, particularly when I'm having a bad day with one of mine. When I share stuff, I do it by email or individual WhatsApp. Add to that the fact that it's always about my nephew, never my niece, despite both being on the group and I just can't bear it. AIBU just to remove myself from the group? Muting just isn't enough-it's still right up there on my list of messages.

Family WhatsApp chat would annoy the hell out of me. I’d never be in one. Just come out of it OP. I don’t think your SIL has done anything particularly wrong, in fact that’s what the thing is for! But I couldn’t stand the constant buzzing.

OP, did I miss why your DH can't be your family representative in his families Whatsapp group?

Clearly redspider is the sil.

Of I feel your pain OP!! I have the same issue but sadly no solution. If only there was a way to leave without it saying "sweetpeas has left the group"

Hippee - I'm bit that hopeful about the going quiet thing...nephew has just started at university!!!

Get a puppy. Post continual effusive messages and photos about how cute/clever/amazing it is. Make sure you out plenty of hearts and kisses emojis on.
Definitely always post directly after sil. Everyone will soon start associating DN with the puppy and that will hopefully diminish the sil posts

I find the dynamic on Whatsapp a bit odd for that kind of thing. On FB, it's easier to scroll past or just hit a like if I don't feel like writing an original comment. Whatsapp feels more pointed in needing a response from a cluster of aunties.

I think muting is the simplest option and just having a check at the end of the day. It is a useful app for functional conversation, just awkward when it gets braggy.

lol yeah I’m the sil
Seriously, you don’t need to have constant beeps. I’m in my family WhatsApp group and DH’s. They are my family too. It’s silent so I basically look once at about 9pm as I’m busy at work all day and that’s when I sit down with a cup of tea before bed. I’ll reply to similar texts to op with ‘ Well done nephew’ etc and move on to other messages. If it’s causing so much grief is there something else going on? Jealousy? Inadequacy?

Just phone eachother instead

I so hear you OP, wish I could leave the ones I'm in too!

Is you dh on it?

When my 11 yr old nephew received his first mobile phone for secondary school and joined the family Whatsapp group, it was a painful week for everyone with 20+ daily updates from him before the novelty wore off and he calmed down. Got told off by his parents!

Say your WhatsApp isn't working properly and delete the app. Or just mute it and look occasionally ask about your niece post a few pics then go off xx

I stopped following a close family member on Facebook for this exact thing. The final straw was when they went on a 2 week holiday and posted a daily update with multiple photos. Enough already.
I’ve also left all group chats because they always start off with someone trying to organise something and get taken over by this same person with photos of their child and gushings of how wonderful their life is.
I left, no explanation given. One member mentioned they saw I had left but didn’t ask why. I’m guessing everyone else feels the same.
If it’s important they can message me personally or pick up the phone.
YANBU

Molly-yes, it's the frequency that gets me. And the imbalance. I do love my nephews, but I think that people need to remember that no one except parents and grandparents has as huge an interest in their child. I wouldn't expect my sil and family to want to know daily minute achievements (we're talking weekly test scores, not gcse results) of my children.

Maybe they think I'm being secretive by not sharing. I just was taught, and teach my children, that it's better to wait to be asked about achievements.

If nephew is of an age to go to university, why not encourage that he joins it himself?

Fingerscrossed he won't update and he'll find his mum embarrassing.

Anna-he is on it!! As is niece and my oldest child. My oldest has commented on how much nephew is mentioned!

I feel your pain OP. 5 members of the 14 strong group are involved in the same hobby and they were posting constantly about it. My younger DBro messaged me privately to say he was seconds away from leaving. I had to quickly message one of the five discreetly and request they tone down the messages and perhaps set up their own 'sub group' for talks of the hobby.

I hate WhatsApp politics but they're family at the end of the day and it is helpful for organising stuff. No easy answers

OP...are we in the same family?? Glad to know I'm not the only one in a family WhatsApp group where parents brag about their children's reports, and who finds it annoying

Oh dear... My SIL added her cousin to our WhatsApp group and we now get a stream of reminders of wedding anniversaries, anniversaries of deaths, birthday reminders (dead & alive relatives)... it's turned into a 'family announcement page' (as in a newspaper.) I feel guilty and a bit of a bitch but I've muted it and don't respond.

I left my family whatsapp group. It felt like I was a voyeur into a conversation between my sister and my dad's wife as they were the only real participants. When I put something on the group no-one responded. I thought it was a bit of a farce and left a few months ago. They can be terribly facile these groups.

If it’s important they can message me personally or pick up the phone.

I can't tell you how great it is to see someone else say this! this is exactly what I think! If you have something to say to me, say it to me! Don't 'announce' it to a load of people and expect us to guess who you are talking to. I hate social media but am always happy for someone to start a conversation with me directly.

As how your niece is doing and send her your love EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I’ve left the family WhatsApp group at some point last year when someone posted some political/racist stuff. No one has ever mentioned it. And I’m of a nationality that’s a lot more dramatic than British

My sister and brother had already left because of amount of pointless messages - either ‘good morning’ (and everyone would reply, then you’d have like 30 ‘good mornings’), football related nonsense or religious messages. My mum always relays important messages which happens almost never

Aargh!! New post of nephews old school's newsletter with his a level results and destination in it. Still no news of niece. I think it's all just a bit old news when she does something, and the same with mine. I once tried telling bil about how daughter was working hard for a music exam to be told that nephew didn't do exams because he didn't need them to motivate him. I think this isn't so much about the WhatsApp group as feeling that nephew is top dog and nothing that follows, be it niece or our children can match up. The WhatsApp group just reminds me of it.