AIBU to tell work about my MH after being told I may have to have performance review?

[FirTree31]

I have a history of poor MH, including admission to hospital after my second child, diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, which was later made historical, insomnia, depression and anxiety.

I did a Master's and currently in first job in that field, I worked 2 and a half days and have just increases my hours after being offered more hours. Work know I have not completed an OH prior to starting at the password never worked and told me it's okay to leave it.

The last month has been very pressured, we've had several people off In our team, I'm still learning (although I've been here a year), and we've taken on extra tasks. Last week I was pulled in by line manager and told that due to my pace and prioritisation, if I do not improve I will go down informal performance review in next few weeks.

In the last couple of months I have felt very anxious, Ive not been able to get off sleeping tablets, I was dizapam, then mirtazipine, then amitriptyline and now just Sominex, which I think you are supposed to take short term,two weeks, but I've been taking for about 8 months, and sometimes Ive taken more than I ought to in utter despair trying to sleep. To culmination, I have been very forgetful recently, which has impacted work a little, but to be honest, I thought I was improving, especially given our staffing levels!

Should I tell all to work? I don't really know to what end this will achieve anyway.

I could have written your post. Do you mind if I tag along to see what the advice is?

If your line manager is approachable, I think I would find a quiet moment to speak to them and try to explain. If they are reviewing your performance informally, they should be having regular check-ins with you and asking what they can do to support you.

My line manager is not approachable and is a big contributor to the problems that have flared up, so I'm not sure where to go.

Can you ask for a referral to Occ Health?

Are you receiving any support apart from medication? Are all the medications you're taking prescribed?

Yes, yes you should. A performance review is designed to help you get back where you should be (in my company at least) and your employer should be doing everything they can to support you. By telling them about your MH history and the challenges you're experiencing now they should be able to give you the right support,make allowances where necessary etc. By not telling them they may chalk your performance up to incompetence, lack of motivation, apathy etc. Which (as a line manager) I'd approach in a different way. You need to present your situation similarly to the above.

Sorry you are going through such a tough time and that you've been struggling at work. Hopefully things will improve when they are able to hire more staff

Of course KeepYourCup I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same. Have you started your review or have they said you need to improve? Could you speak to another team member? Or could you say to your LM that you're struggling and not sure who to turn to, so you put they ball in her court?

I work in HR, so I don't think there's anyone else I can speak to. I'm so scared to go in tomorrow. I have spoken with my LM a little, she knows I am trying to come off sleeping tablets. She also knows I am a single parent and looks at me In this weird, poor you type manner (literally all the team are married, many don't have children, one team member said "oh god that must be horrific, I could never be a single parent).

It sounds more like bad management of the whole team and workload, rather than poor performance on your part. I would tell them about your MH issues if you think they would be supportive, but I don't think this is all on you to sort out, and please don't let them make you feel as if it is.

I would prioritise your health first and foremost. It appears from your OP that is the root cause to the situation. Have you been receiving any medical advice / consultation regarding your sleep and the amount and duration of time you've been taking sleeping tablets. This is not a criticism of you but you are unlikely to be able to work at pace and have a fully functioning memory when you are continuing to take sleeping tablets for far longer than is indicated on the dosage instructions, and are still desperate to get a good night's sleep. I know how I feel after a few bad nights' sleep, my general performance at work dips. After 8+ months of this you must be on your knees.

I'd book a consultation with your GP and I'd let your manager know about your health concerns and that you are seeking medical support to resolve the matter, and hope you have their support in the meantime.

HR person here. Your employer can’t help or support you if they don’t know. You don’t have protection against discrimination/the right to reasonable adjustments if they don’t know. You can ask for a referral/may be able to self-refer to off health for further help.

Yes, I think you should. You say your LM has said if I do not improve I will go down informal performance review in next few weeks - your LM should be supporting you now to avoid this - simply warning you isn't a very constructive way to tackle performance issues.

I would ask for a meeting to discuss how you can address the performance issues before a performance review is necessary, and I would take this opportunity to discuss how your MH issues are affecting your performance, and ask for support.

They aren't hiring anyone else, in fact one of our team has been given 50% acting up to another team. We had three others off at one point a couple of weeks ago and still down one. People make mistakes in our team and I don't say anything I just fix it, but I'm pulled up on things. I think I'm being defensive, and all this is making my head worse. Sorry to ramble.

I've been too embarrassed and ashamed to mention the MH issues before, I was a little relived when I was told I didn't need my OH referral. The mental single parent at work who can't suddenly can't keep up, that's me now!

Do you mind if I tag along to see what the advice is?
Eh? Are you worried about stealing the OP’s thunder? Aren’t we all tagging along on various threads by either commenting or watching the threads? Isn’t that the point?

Definitely tell them. They should support you and make reasonable adjustments. The best thing I ever did (for my health) was finally admit I wasn't coping anymore.

I am currently managing someone who has mental health issues that impact significantly on their performance. We have got OH involved and reasonable adjustments agreed, which we review regularly, to ensure that the person has support in place. So yes, tell your employer, get it documented and think about what reasonable adjustments you need in order to perform better.

One thing I would say is that the point of having these things in place is that it should enable you then to perform at the expected level so if you’re not, your manager should still then be doing a performance review (I think some people on my team have the view that once it’s been identified that there are issues they become untouchable which I personally disagree with, but it does make it harder to manage).

Good luck - and don’t be embarrassed. This is what your manager is there for.

I agree with Calic0. Not hr but manage a team and have also been the one who's mh issues have impacted on work performance.

Let them know. They can't help or support until they do. But do listen to their feedback as well and view this as an opportunity to get some help. You are still in a learning phase and this could really help you. But be honest too - not your job to fix other fuck ups especially if that reflects on you.

It can actually be really hard to manage an under performer with mh issues. You want to be caring and sympathetic and supportive but you don't have a magic wand either and need them to be open and honest with you.

Okay, I'll try and tell her tomorrow. I've got a big improvement meeting tomorrow, so she is trying, I suppose maybe I hadn't realised what was going on fully. I don't think telling will make me untouchable in any way, the reason I posted was to get different views on whether I should or not because I thought it may be helpful for work to have bigger picture? I will ask to do an OH, and there are counseling options available I think.

I've just been through four months of psychotherapy, I did feel better for a little but it's come back around.

I would say something so that you are protected from discrimination and reasonable adjustments can be put in to help you. The only caveat I would mention is to be wary of over-stating things in a way that might seriously call into question your fitness to do whatever role it is that you do - particularly from a health and safety perspective (this is hopefully irrelevant for you).

I work with students with mental health issues and various disabilities and on very rare occasions hear things that I have to report further up the line if I am concerned about their safety and wellbeing, or that of others. This can, for example, impact on their ability to get placements and complete their full qualifications.

there seem to be 'work' issues -short staff/poor management /communication
and possibly your MH may be affecting these or not so If you feel you may have been forgetful and still learning and you are picking up other peoples mistakes and doing their work as well and understaffed....can you write down what you see as the work issues in the team are...
what the impacts of the reduced number of staff ?
you need to cover yourself that you have raised this issues.....

maybe stop picking up other peoples mistakes and focus on your own health and performance....

it is very poor management never mind performance management to just say you need to be doing better and maybe heading to performance review - so you definitly have a management issue to deal with as well.

a way i found effective was to divide a piece of paper in 2 columns and think about a week and what happened and what was becuase of 'work' and what maybe 'me' performance/forgetting/lack of attention or knowledge..
then could identify training/support for me but be clear that it was not all about 'me'

No, don’t. I’m sorry to say this because it should be this way but unless your job has a clearly open and supportive attitude to mental health issues and your manager has shown themselves aware and engaged in these issues, then don’t.

There is a stigma, people may try to manage you out because of it, don’t let the genie out of the bottle. Focus on performance and how you could improve, not reasons why you might struggle.

@FirTree31 - sorry, I did not mean to imply that you felt you were untouchable. It’s my current (bitter!) experience but I’m sure that the majority of people with MH issues genuinely want to work with their employer to find a solution that benefits everyone.

@RhiWrites - I’m really sorry if that has been your experience.

above is exactly what I'm afraid of, that's why I mentioned the single parent thing, because this alone makes me feel disadvantaged, l feel I'm looked at differently.

Are u taking to your go about this?those medications especially long term are all the ones that will have a major impact on ur mood,ability to function,concentrate or work without a possible side effect fog and may then make u feel worrse.Could u discuss a more generalised anti depressants to help on a more constant level.aswell as talking therapy

I think you need to discuss your mental health problems with them- as a PP says, if they do not know about it then you are not protected under discrimination legislation and they cannot make reasonable adjustments for you as they have no idea they are needed. By letting them know, you protect yourself to some extent and it allows your employers to put things in place to help- that could be more support, altered hours and so on.

Like a PP said though, these things are put in place to help you perform at the level required and do need regular review.

I also think you may need to go back to see your GP- or pyschotherapist or psychiatrist if you are still under the care of mental health team in some way- because it sounds as though you need additional support with regards your mental health.

I will take this as an opportunity to improve and I will make changes because of it, bit I also feel on my guard and the need to explain.

@LouiseLouisa87. I think she's trying to be friendly to the OP since they are in a similar situation. It's a shame you can't be friendly too...

Your workplace may offer counselling, lots of big firms, local govt etc do. I know you had therapy, can be hard to end, the work counselling could be short term and work focused in his rough patch, or used in any way to be decided with counsellor. It's free and confidential. Otherwise Iaps (thru gp?).