Crazy Woman at school

[BaudelaireGal]

Hi all! NC for this. Got myself in a bit of a pickle. No fault of my own, though..

Right, so I moved to a different town not long ago. Completely new place, don't know anybody here. First day out and about, getting to know everything, lovely day, great mood and all that. I needed to find a particular place and stupidly forgot my phone at home. Saw a man standing and having a cigarette.

Come up, say hi, explain I'm new here, ask him where could I find such and such. He explains, shows me the direction, asks how do I like my new town. We were talking for 2 mins or so.

A woman storms out of a bakery nearby and angrily heads to the man I'm talking to. Grabs his arm and greets me with a frosty/annoyed expression. I smile, say hi, explain I'm new, etc.. Not saying a word she turns around and heads back to said bakery half-dragging her husband (presumably) with her. Um.. Not weird at all, I think and then continue with my day.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, I'm going to pick up my DD from school. And there they are, coming towards me, the Crazy Woman, her hubby and their kids. To be honest, I didn't want to speak to any of them and would have gladly avoided them all. Alas, wasn't meant to be. Hubby smiled and stopped to talk to me, the Crazy Woman stormed off with kids. Again, 1 min talk, 'hi', 'how are you settling', 'bye'. That's it.

Now some time passed after this and I noticed some other mums giving me a side eye. It was fine before, up to the point I met the Crazy Woman in the school yard. Ok, maybe I'm paranoid, I hope I am. But it doesn't feel like it..

I don't know her. I don't know her husband. I saw him those two times only and I don't feel any desire to see him again. I don't even know his name, FFS! I guess what I'm asking is...

What do I do now?

1. Talk to the Crazy Woman (nooooo..)
2. Make and wear an 'I don't sleep with Crazy Woman's husband' poster on a school run
3. Talk to the husband (maybe? Prefer not to, though)
4. Do nothing.

I don't usually care what other people say or think of me. It's this injustice that gets to me. I absolutely don't know that man, not at all, and now some other women think I'm having an affair with other woman's husband? If he would be single, and they'd think I'm shagging him - I wouldn't care, think what you like, whatever. But he has a family and it's just not on.

Also, what if the Crazy Woman is friends with my DD's teacher???

Just ignore and it will die down. She is probably embarrassed to see you at the school after her behaviour but is now backed into a position where she cant lose face. Even if she has talked to others ,so what? Most people will be a bit if someones was gossiping about someone whose biggest misdemeanor was talking to someone. It's not as though she caught you in bed with him. Anyone else who did get involved in her silliness wont be someone you want to be friends with anyway.

Ignore it. There's a mum at my DD's school who won't talk to me or even look at me. She turns herself away from me and has even blanked me after I said hi. I can only think she either thinks I'm someone else or I've done something I haven't, as I don't know her.
Just rise above it. Those mums at the school giving you looks aren't significant in your life.

Maybe she has very good reason to be angry with her husband. Maybe it’s not your business?

Or maybe she should control her craziness? She is just pathetic and embarrassing!

Or maybe she should control her craziness? She is just pathetic and embarrassing!

Ah. A good old armchair diagnosis.

@KatyCarrcan or perhaps he spoke to the OP despite his OH going mental because it's something that any polite, normal person would do?

Even if they are in a relationship with a stroppy, controlling, angry madam. Even if she does have prior reason to not trust him and feel jealous she can't spend her life following him around monitoring who he speaks to (and she can't blame/be angry at them). It's obviously doomed to fail - you either trust your partner or you don't..

I'd just smile and carry on in future. Speak to other mums if you get a chance (generally, not to discuss what's happened) and let it all become ancient news.

I had to rescue DP from random street beggars occasionally usually dressed far more expensively than either of us because he hadn't got the hang of extricating himself efficiently. The women who have 'locked themselves out with the kids - who are nowhere to be seen - and just need some money (coincidentally just enough for a bag of heroin) for a train ride to Mum's house' are the most annoying ones.

It's possible that she initially thought that you were somebody attempting that scam.

However - I wouldn't be concerned about her being friends with your DD's teacher. It's not particularly likely.

Gosh I do feel sorry for you, Baudelaire. However you did absolutely nothing wrong, it isn't at all unusual to ask someone for directions. The man's wife must be quite insecure.

I don't think much of her if she is talking about you to other parents. Honestly, 'pavement powows' outside school are awful! I avoided as much as possible. I hate gossip.

People will soon know you weren't flirting. However I do think it is dreadful that the woman was so ... I can't think of a correct word! Others will :-).

Don't worry, things pass.

this is the weirdest thread. no one has any idea why the woman was behaving oddly

Welcome to the small town mentality. You cannot be openly friendly with someone if the opposite sex without getting the bloody town talking about it.

Become a friend of the queen bee and thrive under her protection. This woman is not the bee, but an insecure person that will continue giving you trouble regardless of what you do. I wouldn’t try to talk to her.

why is the first/only assumption, that she is jealous/possessive. based on 2 2nd hand split second encounters

Queen bee? WTAF? 😲

You don't think MAYBE you are creating a situation. in your head

What do you suggest she can be if she is not jealous? What feeling causes you to forcefully remove your husband from a stranger woman presence and start bitching about the stranger in school?

Ignore it and go about your day. Reacting will only fuel whatever is going on.

Agree with pp,make friends with other mum or two and make it clear you are not interested in this man and relate the story of two incidents.it will soon get round.The woman(crazy) may well have embellished her story,but stick to the truth.
Could be the other mum's know she is of a jealous nature and not believe her anyway.
Any that continue to be unpleasant,they are no loss to your social circle anyway.☺
Hope you enjoy your new home

Maybe her husband has strayed in the past and she was very hurt by it and is petrified of it happening again? Sometimes in these situations even the most innocent actions are magnified by the hurt party.

I would do nothing except say a friendly 'hello' if you happen to run into her (as you will). If you say something to her she might pass it on to other parents - and embellish it a bit! - which will make things worse.

@IdiotInDisguise nothing says Queen Bee, more than thinking a situation is all about yourself and the only emotion another woman could be having is jealousy about YOU! 🤣

@karmastar, OP is going to look like a right arsehole if this woman is upset about something else/hasn't said ANYTHING to other parents about OP

new woman rocks up and starts randomly telling everyone in the playground that she doesn't fancy X's husband! (whilst X is going through some unrelated trauma/grievance/situation totally unrelated)

For the next few weeks, say a brief Hi to the woman rather than her husband.

Just ignore the pair of them - no fuss, no drama.

With regards to the parents at school, they'll no doubt know what this woman is like.

You won't be the first woman she's dragged her husband away from and you won't be the last.

She sounds nutty. I'd avoid the pair of them and wait for her to get her knickers in a twist about some other poor victim!

I’d do absolutely nothing. Just get on with settling in to your new town. How is your child settling? Are you in the UK or elsewhere - I just ask because of the use of the phrase school yard.

I think you’ve taken something and allowed it to snowball into something bigger in your mind. How does a bit of a ‘side-eye’ from some Mums in the playground escalate into you feeling the need to explain via a T-shirt that you’re not sleeping with someone else’s partner?! I know you’re joking but it indicates a train of thought on your part that is a little OTT!

Personally when I need directions and I’m out and about I try to ask a shop person, traffic warden etc. failing that I go for someone older. The latter is high risk because you end up getting embroiled in conversation but sometimes that’s fun and you might get loads of info on the place especially as you’re new in town.

You sound like a chatty person anyway so I’m sure you’ll pal up with other people soon. Have you met many other people yet? If there’s anything to find out about this couple, I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough

Ignore and avoid.

Honestly. Breeze on through. You are new, you've got the confidence to chat to people. Keep doing it, using the excuse of asking about things. Don't falter and keep being open. You've no idea about batshit crazy lady, just act as though you've met and say hi and smile (whilst mentally avoiding her particular company at the school gate as possible).

I feel for the OP if she's on the receiving end of odd looks etc from lots of people, presumably after crazy woman has been gossiping.

I don't quite understand the "someone spoke to my husband so must want to sleep with them" reactions. Nobody would have gone weird on the OP for talking to a fellow mum.

I'd continue to be pleasant and friendly to everyone but avoid too much contact with the odd couple.

If it's small town drama and has a bitchy school mum circle then people will probably know what odd woman is like. Keep being friendly and rise above it. Some people have such small empty lives that they thrive on this, and to be honest do you want these people as friends if they can be rude to someone new like this?

Commiserations, there is always someone to spoil the day. Let her get on with her crazy world she obviously and angry person and just keep smiling at her. Its hard enough moving to a new location. Always be yourself , keep it in perspective ,its a storm in a teacup. You are better than this, enjoy all the new friends you will make.x