Crazy Woman at school

[BaudelaireGal]

Hi all! NC for this. Got myself in a bit of a pickle. No fault of my own, though..

Right, so I moved to a different town not long ago. Completely new place, don't know anybody here. First day out and about, getting to know everything, lovely day, great mood and all that. I needed to find a particular place and stupidly forgot my phone at home. Saw a man standing and having a cigarette.

Come up, say hi, explain I'm new here, ask him where could I find such and such. He explains, shows me the direction, asks how do I like my new town. We were talking for 2 mins or so.

A woman storms out of a bakery nearby and angrily heads to the man I'm talking to. Grabs his arm and greets me with a frosty/annoyed expression. I smile, say hi, explain I'm new, etc.. Not saying a word she turns around and heads back to said bakery half-dragging her husband (presumably) with her. Um.. Not weird at all, I think and then continue with my day.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, I'm going to pick up my DD from school. And there they are, coming towards me, the Crazy Woman, her hubby and their kids. To be honest, I didn't want to speak to any of them and would have gladly avoided them all. Alas, wasn't meant to be. Hubby smiled and stopped to talk to me, the Crazy Woman stormed off with kids. Again, 1 min talk, 'hi', 'how are you settling', 'bye'. That's it.

Now some time passed after this and I noticed some other mums giving me a side eye. It was fine before, up to the point I met the Crazy Woman in the school yard. Ok, maybe I'm paranoid, I hope I am. But it doesn't feel like it..

I don't know her. I don't know her husband. I saw him those two times only and I don't feel any desire to see him again. I don't even know his name, FFS! I guess what I'm asking is...

What do I do now?

1. Talk to the Crazy Woman (nooooo..)
2. Make and wear an 'I don't sleep with Crazy Woman's husband' poster on a school run
3. Talk to the husband (maybe? Prefer not to, though)
4. Do nothing.

I don't usually care what other people say or think of me. It's this injustice that gets to me. I absolutely don't know that man, not at all, and now some other women think I'm having an affair with other woman's husband? If he would be single, and they'd think I'm shagging him - I wouldn't care, think what you like, whatever. But he has a family and it's just not on.

Also, what if the Crazy Woman is friends with my DD's teacher???

I'd perhaps ask others why they think crazy woman is acting like she is. Affect innocence and hurt. Perhaps ponder if they think, she thinks that you are after her husband as you spoke to him once and she dragged him away. Put them straight.

Ignore them for the 10 minutes a day (if that) that you’ll be in the playground?
Why do people get so obsessed & worried about other parents in the playground?

I’m for 4. If the wife were incredibly controlling and jealous, he would not have tried to talk outside the school but would have stayed quiet. I expect it probably is something boring like she asked him to do something when she was in the baker’s and he wandered off to have a cigarette.

Agree with the majority here. Ignore her, ignore him and it will die a death, she will find something else to get angry about very soon. Teacher will know what she is like and not care about any of this. Try to make conversation with others but maybe not start with the "I'm new in town" bit, just be casual. It will blow over but unfortunately , you have to be the bigger person here.

I'd avoid small talk with him, make it 2 seconds rather than 1mn. Make your excuses.

Sounds like there are clear issues in their marriage, he probably cheated, she's become paranoid by nature, he loves to wind her off by talking to good looking women new to the place and oblivious to his reputation

No 4.

ONLY no 4.

She’s nuts.

I can’t believe people are saying ‘you don’t know what’s happened previously’, a man is innocently chatting to a women on the street, if a women is that insecure then they shouldn’t be in a relationship.
Op hasn’t done anything wrong.
That relationship sounds toxic.

I'd go with 4.

And if he stops to talk to you again you be the one to say excuses and exit quickly.

The woman is clearly unhinged. Avoid at all costs.

OP say hi as you walk past and hold your head up and keep going! It is their sad drama! Really the problem is with them not you so ignore the rudeness and just carry on as usual.Please do not upset yourself or give it any head space at all.Normal people do not behave like this and she sounds ridiculous.Sunglasses and ear phones are your go to items.Sunglasses hide your disgust at the prat and earphones with an audio book or music block the pillocks out! You have done nothing wrong...do you hear me? You have done nothing wrong! repeat!!!

I wouldn't talk to the teacher - they are unlikely to know the town gossip, so wouldn't have a clue what was going on.
I would smile sweetly and say Hi every time you pass "crazy lady".
I would also talk to other Mum's and ask "what is her problem"? If you find some of the big gossips so much the better.
And I'd probably swerve her husband as much as possible.

Number 2 - do it!

There is NO excuse for her behaviour. She's a total fanny.

Just ignore both of them.
Maybe she was "half dragging" him back to the bakery because he had the money and she was holding up the queue Maybe because he has form for shagging women who ask him for directions.
Whichever, just let it go

Don't do any of the batshit suggestions made other than ignore, or you'll be the crazy woman.
As for fretting that some random woman might be friends with your child's teacher- so what?
However...next time maybe go for "excuse me, can you tell me where X is" and moving on. Because it sounds an odd exchange to be having tbh. I don't ask directions in strange towns by explaining who I am, that I'm only visiting etc.

The problem here is that whatever has happened it is affecting OP because other Mums are looking at her funny. OP is new in town. Presumably, she wants friends and she wants her daughter to have friends. Now, whatever has happened, it seems that she has acquired a gossip trail and has been 'discussed', possibly negatively. Thus, all those posters telling OP to mind her own business or not gossip have missed the point that she has been gossiped about already and is feeling the impact of this. I'd try to make friends with the other Mums and when trust has been established to subtly try to find out what was said about me.

Sounds like he’s in an abusive relationship

FGS don't talk to the teacher.
Don't seek out other parents and ask them about it.

Just act as you normally would - if you're friendly, chat to people (but not about this!), if you're not sociable, stand around and wait for your kid silently.

Don't give it any more headroom. not your circus, not your monkeys.

Btw op, I don’t think your exchange was weird. You’re clearly wanting to find out a bit about things locally and what better way to do so than introducing yourself as new to the area and asking where something is.
It really does open up a conversation for someone to tell you a bit about the place you’re living but polite enough for someone to not feel they have to engage in a conversation with you further from telling you where something is.

It’s unusual but it’s not weird or socially inept.

Good luck op!

You can’t control what other people think say or do, so don’t try.
Crack on with your day, smile and move on. Do not say anything to anyone, you’ll potentially come across as either crazy or gossipy yourself.

Smile at her when you see her, ignore him when she's there.

It is what it is.

Just ignore them, anything else will no doubt create extra hassle.

Avoid both of them. It's all too easy to call the woman names (apparently! going by this thread) but he's the one that made a point of talking to you when he knew it would cause an issue. He's not to be trusted.

Btw op, I don’t think your exchange was weird. You’re clearly wanting to find out a bit about things locally and what better way to do so than introducing yourself as new to the area and asking where something is

I don't think so either. Bet if the OP was a bloke people would not be thinking it was weird.

are you in a relationship yourself OP? take him to the school gates if you are and might calm things down a bit!

Maybe she has very good reason to be angry with her husband. Maybe it’s not your business?

I would imagine THIS. why would you think it was about you/flirting. I would think something is going on for THEM and you just witnessed some 'thing'