Aibu to hate after school routine?

[Mcbj86]

I reduced hours at work to finish early for the school run, I imagined my DC skipping out to see me, relaxing with home work, making a leisurely tea etc... (DC are 6, 4, 2)
In reality, they come out of school, ask whats for tea, guarenteed one starts sulking. Come home throw their reading folders down, scatter theid uniforms around the house while getting changed, demand food, eat tea, too tired to do homework, watch tv, argue with each other, bath, bed for 7pm.

They have tea at 4pm. A lot of people give their DC a snack but surely this spoils their appetite? (Examples of snacks welcome)

Any advice welcome because I clearly have not fugured this after school thing out

We have tv on the nights we are not at swimming , rainbows or a friend's house. Dinner about 6.

I feed everybody at 4.30pm, then little ones in bed between 6-7pm. Eldest then has dinner with me at 7pm. In bed for 8pm.

First meal is usually something like egg sandwiches and veggie sticks, chicken strippers and salad, or fish fingers and golden rice, or hot dogs in buns and sweet corn, or leftovers. So takes 15 mins cook time maximum.

Later I'll usually make pasta bake or meat loaf which can be cooking in the oven while I put the little ones in bed. I'll make lots, so the leftovers can be reheated after school the next day, usually with some extra veg and some bread of some kind for the kids. I don't really eat much bread.

I feel like I cook with my microwave a lot more than anything else in the evenings, and sometimes we struggle to fit in homework or fun time of any kind because between their tea and dinner I have to fit in an hour of housework or the place descends into total chaos. We always find time to do reading though.

I think it's difficult fitting everything in when they are little, because even an age gap of a year or two can make a big difference to bed times. I think it's settles out later. They usually do have crisps on the way home too, and bits left from their snack/lunch.

Every days got slightly different timings though because of clubs and activities and whether we need to be back quickly or not.

we do small snack at 3.45 fruit or snack bar usually. playing til 4.30 then tv on for 30-40 mins while I cook so 2yo and 5yo don't fight. trying to wean them off a little now they get on better.

then playing and bedtime with 5yo reading before bed (nightmare but 2yo just causes havoc if she's around)

Thanks for all your replies. I know tea at 4 sounds early. But up until a month ago, they were going to bed at 6.30 (and sometimes still do when very tired) so it was easier getting tea out of the way then. Plus they were hungry enough for it.

However, now bedtime is 7pm. I will try a snack and a later tea.

When mine were really little we had dinner at 4pm.

They're 10, 8 & 7 and usually it was homework as soon as we get in from school so that they're still in school mode. Then chill time whilst i cooked dinner. Start the bedtime routine around 6.30pm and bed at 7.30, 8pm & 8.30pm.

Now I'm back at work after school club does dinner around 4pm or they get it when I'm back from work so around 6pm.

We dont bath every day so most days its just a strip wash.

We always have a snack (DD is in secondary now and still comes home hungry), then a bit of winding down time before homework (Y5+Y6 meant homework under the week) or timestable/spelling practice.

Dinner was and is a family meal, so around 6.30-7pm. I never had an issue that it was too heavy to digest as some pp think. I love cooking but why should I do two meals short after each other? I never understood that concept.

Some days she had clubs like gymnastic or theatre and then she got a packed snack in the car on the way.

Thought it was just me who hates the routine....

I give my son something to eat when I pick him up (he goes to after school club though so we get home about 6:30pm) then he will have his bath and we have some playtime I give him something to eat again - lighter than dinner but filling enough so ensure he is full before he goes to bed, then book and bed.

Mine were at nursery or after school club until 6. Then home on the tube, quick tea(they had already eaten at after school club) some play time and then bed. A shower some nights.

Mine are 10, 9 & 7

We have quite a few activities during the week so our routine is a bit different/muddled but when there's no clubs it's:

Get home by 3.30pm & they disperse around the house. Play in bedroom, put tv on etc. It's fine for them to grab a small snack, couple of biscuits /popcorn/toast/fruit etc

I get all lunch boxes emptied & washed up.

Then find youngest, listen to him grumble & then read his book. Sign his reading diary.

Have tea at 5pm, they then play with toys/watch tv/play in the garden.

Bedtime starts at 7pm & everyone is tucked up 7.45-8pm. (I read to each of them then older two read to themselves & turn their lights off when they're ready)

The nights with activities will be feeding one of them early (I keep pasties in the freezer) then dropping off & going back an hour later to pick up.

DH does shifts so is often home after school but not always. Other 2 come with me for drop offs & pick ups if he's not home.

It's wearing but I'm finding it gets easier as they get older.

This is why I went full time at work!! After school time is rubbish. They either do after school club or a sports/educational club then a short period at after school club. Pick up and home by 6, tea, bath, bed by 8 (9 and 5).

It means their screen time in the week is very low as no screens at after school club. Homework is done at weekends when they have energy. If teacher sets homework that can't be done at weekends (e.g set Monday, due Friday) they get a note from me explaining I have a job and can't supervise homework in the week for primary aged kids who shouldn't have it anyway .

Once they hit secondary they'll get a house key and will get more time at home to do homework.

The extra money from full time work pays for holidays and actual quality time.

grobagsforever i defonitely agree regarding the screen time, ours has definitely gone up. I changed my hours to be able to pick up from school but not sure it was the right decision now taking everything into account. Primary age kids with homework and reading every night is a whole other thread

Mine generally have a snack around 3pm, then dinner at 6pm. Bedtimes are 7:30pm and 8:30pm. We home educate, however, so no school run timetable and no "homework" as we do most written work at home. Maths and reading/literature are usually done in the mornings.

Reading is actually a "throughout the day" thing as it's used in various activities - for example, reading about history, science, comprehension, and so on is usually in the morning. Reading for fun is every other time in the day - generally chapter books, history books, fact books, and such. We have subscriptions of a number of educational magazines and loads of great books, but we also have a local library, downloading book service (listening books), and we tend to buy books at the library any time they have sales. (no such thing as "too many books" ) We tend to take books with us when we go out so we can read during down times if we choose.

My two at home are autistic and were not getting appropriate support at school, so when in school, the "afterschool" routine was meltdowns, meltdowns, meltdowns. I do not miss that at all!!!!!!

I feel your pain! Two DC in primary (7&9). Both have homework every night due the next day (reading & writing). Baby is also due a feed around this time too!
Kids are trying out some different after school activities at the moment while I'm on mat leave, so it's all rush to get home, homework done, dinner served up, baby fed & out the door to wherever we are going.
When I go back to work we will curtail activities, but will be the same, not collecting dc from childminder until 6pm at best, race home, do homework (which next year will be times three - dd1 starts next year)
It's exhausting!!

@user1496146479 - I wouldn't supervise a 9 year old that much anymore. At that age DD read mostly silent, we asked her to read maybe a page aloud to check that she was actually reading and pronouncing properly.

Similar with writing, we would review it and if necessary she had to re-write. it taught her to use a dictionary.

I actually loved the fact that either I or DH were at home after school and she could do activities. Not everyday but it meant the weekend was free.

On days I pick them up, I bring a snack to the school gate. Otherwise I end up with hangry, sulky, bickering, whiny children, especially my youngest. I feel like the afternoon goes best if I bring a snack and we also stop at the park on the way home for a quick play, but we don't always have time. But the snack is essential!!! (I also have to eat a snack myself because they get their hangry disposition from me. Lol)

@reluctantbrit
I am mainly doing the seven year olds homework. DS1 has tables, spellings, English writing & reading, Maths daily which need to be checked /redone. DS2 also has similar.
Also have dd1 age 3 in the mix. It's not so much that it takes long, we just have a lot to do in a short time & feed the baby!

Why on earth are they having dinner so early?

Snack when you get in, fruit and biscuits or hot cross bun/ crumpet.

Then play/ craft etc

Dinner at six

Bath and then bed 7/7.30

Similar age children here

Some days go to the park or similar after school

Dishwashersaurous because theyre hungry and want a meal. They have ate at that time since weaning so its just a routine thats never changed.

I give them dinner as soon as they're through the door.

Light snacks are then given about an hour before bed.

I loved being at home to be with mine when they came home from school. They were always starving when they got home, they never hung up their uniforms, they argued as much as any other kids and as they were only a year apart there was lots of homework and reading practice. They are now 14 & 15. I would go back to when they were little in a heartbeat!

Apart from actual pickup I like it (which probably makes me deranged!).

My son cries virtually all the way to the park after pick up, we then play in the park for about half an hour before walking home. He plays while I cook so we eat around 6:15ish. After dinner we play together a little, bath, teeth and then bedtime story with bedtime around 7:15ish.

Fridays are my favourite as I don’t work so I can pick him up at 3:20 rather than our usual after school club pickup.

I too hate the slot between coming home and going to bed because of the strops and the noise and the fact that it goes from peace and quiet to chaos within minutes: it's like a whirlwind comes through the house!

On non-childminder days mine get home at around 3.45. They either read, watch TV, play out or play in for an hour whilst I make their tea, sort the washing out and go through any school admin stuff that might need doing. They have fruit, chocolate or biscuits and a drink during this time.

Mine are older and I reduced hours to do school pick up for youngest and (crucially) be around so eldest two did homework rather than watch tv after secondary.

Hate it.

Feel just as tired as full day at work . Kids are at their worst. Dinner has moved ever earlier and earlier evenings seem so long as no quiet time

3.30-6.30 is just unbearable, I really don’t enjoy it! Dd is 4 and in reception.

Meltdown usually starts before we even get out of the school gate. Walk home is like trying to control a wild animal while also pushing a buggy. Snack just about keeps things manageable until tea at 5. Then bed routine to get her all tucked up by 6.40.

We are home by 330. Kids have a snack on the way home as hungry. Home work for half hour. 4-5 is play time. We eat at 5pm-545pm. 545-650pm is reading/bath. 7pm both go to bed. No after school clubs monday-Thursday. To compensate, they don’t have reading/homework on Friday but join an after school club. I also make the dinners then night before or I get it from work.