To hate the concept of holding the fucking door?

[IAmABitchAndIDC]

Obviously if someone is literally right behind you, fair enough, it doesn't cost you anything to hold the door for half a second.

But when someone's about 100 yards ahead, they hold the door, they get split off from their party, you have to walk faster to recieve said door because you don't want to put said person out they have to walk faster to catch up with their party, etc.

I have mobility issues that aren't immediately apparent and the amount of rude comments or bitchy looks I've gotten because I physically can't walk any faster to get to the door, just let the fucking thing close! I can open it again.
Not to mention that you then have to say thank you, not a big deal for most people, but I don't like talking to strangers. I have social communication issues and I know I'll come off as rude or ungrateful when I don't mean to.

Your post was perfectly clear, june2007, ignore the self-appointed thread police.

I frequently hold the door, its only polite after all. I don't get people who feel the need to rush its my call to hold the door and probably the one factor that doesn't come into it is your ability to run a 100 meters.

I always yell 'it's fine, leave it!' if I'm too far away, with a disparaging head shake.

Or, more realistically I scutter forward, arm outreached, professing gratitude like an idiot, then moan afterwards

🙄

As someone only 5' tall, I hate it when taller men (it's always men) expect me to walk under their arm as they hold the door. It makes me feel like a child, although I realise they're probably just being polite. But I always think that they should realise that if I'm closest to the door I could almost certainly hold it open myself. Would I be rude to stop and tell them I don't want to walk under their arm? Genuine question, I always end up ducking under and murmuring a thank you.

If it's so hard to say thank you, just smile or something. Everyone and their 'social anxiety' these days, crikey....

What a shitty thing to say. She didn’t say she has “social anxiety”. She said she has social communication issues. This could mean autism, DLD or other issues.

My children have autism, and therefore social and communication issues. They’re only 3 and I already get people tutting if my boys don’t notice them when they wave, say hello etc.

If you want to be polite and helpful, great. Just understand that some people may have difficulty responding in the way you expect.

Worse when it's multiple successive door holding-opens and you're like "Thank you", then "Thanks", then "Cheers", then "Ta," and then you can't think of any more

Yes! There's a series of doors when you go up/downstairs at my work and I go through this every single time. By the end of it I'm bloody mumbling my "thanks" or just giving a smile because I find it so awkward.

Oh and YANBU at all OP. I personally don't think it's polite at all to hold the door for someone if it means they'll have to try and speed up to reach the door so as not to put you out (because nobody wants to be standing and holding a door open behind them for 20 seconds, surely?).

If I see someone holding it and waiting and I’m being slow I just call out in a friendly tone ‘no need to hold it, I’m/we’re a little slow over here’ (usually it happens because the dc are slowing me down)

Although I have to disagree with PPs in that I don't think it's a gendered thing - or not in my experience anyway.

If I hold a door for you and have to wait 20 seconds or 30 seconds that's my choice, I don't want you to run it's a way of giving something back. If its a series of doors then whats the alternative to holding them open? However if you expect someone to go under your arm you're ignorant.

Even better is the “gent” who holds the door to allow some other woman through, but without seeing little old me, thereby barring me from going through, or sometimes, bumping into me/stepping backwards on my toes. Then I have to let both the bastardsthrough ahead of me

If I hold a door for you and have to wait 20 seconds or 30 seconds that's my choice, I don't want you to run it's a way of giving something back

That's genuinely really nice of you, but I would imagine most people are like me in that they'd feel pressured to speed up in that situation so as not to appear rude.

If its a series of doors then whats the alternative to holding them open?

Nothing... it's just one of those things! If I'm in front and holding the doors open for someone behind me, they'll inevitably run through all their "thank you" synonyms too. It's not the end of the world, but it's got the same vibe to me as seeing someone you vaguely know in the supermarket, saying "hi" and then bumping into them in the next aisle too.

Hodor? Is that you?

Ultimately people are trying to be kind. No matter what social issues anyone has it does not excuse rudeness

"exceptable" is not a word, @june2007 Acceptable is, though.

exceptable
adjective ex·cept·able | \ ikˈseptəbəl, (ˈ)ek¦s-

fit for excepting or suitable for being excepted

www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/exceptable

I’m not keen on it and will do it for others only if they are fairly close behind me. Similarly, I am not keen on car drivers stopping to let me out onto a main road- especially when I am turning right. It’s very kind, but sometime it relies on another driver stopping too. I really don’t mind waiting! Then there is the etiquette of letting others in front if they don’t have much to pay for in the shopping queue. How much is not much? Will other people be put out if I do it? Will the people with not much be cross if I don’t do it, because I am in a hurry?

m.facebook.com/watch/?v=10157053717075787&_rdr
Don't know if this is the same link as posted earlier but this one is clicky.

I don't really mind to be honest. I appreciate people trying to be polite. But I appreciate I don't have mobility issues making a quicker pace difficult or any issues with calling over 'thanks but don't worry about holding the door'.
It's nice that people where you are are courteous enough to hold open doors. I'm always surprised how so many of my colleagues are happy to let doors close immediately behind them, right in front on fellow colleagues faces. It's pretty rude.

Marybennet that's the one!

I think it's a polite act to hold a door. Men and women both do this. I understand and empathise with you about it being hard to communicate but maybe try the suggestions up thread about communicating. I know this may feel hard to you, but social niceties do help us all rub along.

I don't think saying "thank you" should be too much for anyone to manage if they are physically able to speak, social communication issues or not.

You'd think....

I also have mobility issues but tend to be grateful - I hate it when people leave the door to swing shut in my face (which usually happens right when I get there).

Saying thank you is basic good manners and being part of the human race, social communication/anxiety issues or otherwise.

Just as a side issue, despite having mobility issues etc I hold the door for other people. Again just basic good manners.

Honestly, expecting people en mass to stop doing a basic civility like holding a door open, because you aren't able to say 'thank you', is just bizarrely self-indulgent.

For most people, holding the door open - rather than letting it swing shut in someone's face - is a basic, run-of-the-mill courtesy.

And most people are perfectly well-equipped to offer a simple 'thank you'.

I mean, it wouldn't occur to me to not
do something polite, because some random cant even say thanks.