Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my neighbour is bullying me with her bin

71 replies

Emilyontmoor · 19/10/2019 17:16

Help! I think my neighbour is embarking on a campaign of bullying by bin. What can I do? She left her bin next to my car door, it may well have been just thoughtlessness so I moved it in front of her car door to highlight the problem. Except when I next went out she had moved it back in front of my car door. I moved it again back on the pavement but late last night she moved it to block my pathway where it still sits. I fear I have rattled her cage, what should my next move be? She has form as a nasty piece of work. She bullied the perfectly pleasant woman downstairs into leaving her flat of ten years after she dared to complain about the noise she made (including screaming at her 6 year old for three hours which led to a visit from the Police and Social Services ). She reported the neighbour to the police three times, claiming she had evidence that she had tampered with her mail, shattered her wing mirror and cut off her electricity. The Police took her seriously because she led them to believe that she was living in fear for herself and her child because of the behaviour of the "mad spinster" downstairs. The "mad spinster" had lived amicably with all previous tenants and the rest of her neighbours Hmm. All the neighbours made a statement to the police for in the event she tries wasting police time again, or starts a similar campaign of paranoia against one of us or a future tenant downstairs. Since then we have been careful to not rattle her cage, the landlord has even not rented out the downstairs flat to avoid further trouble. But now the bin is in my path. This is not a good time to be having a bin blocking our path and car door. My daughter shattered her tibia and is in a wheelchair, the nasty piece of work must know as we have had multiple trips to and from hospital by ambulance. Now she can bend her knee we are struggling to get her out of the house and in the car, it took lots of rehearsing with the physio to get her able to get in the car at all. What should my next move be? I don't want to just move it because bullies like you to back down but I don't want to escalate the situation either. Any attempt to talk to her will on my previous neighbour's experience just lead to a shouting match. My daughter is refusing a planned trip out because she is scared of bin related conflict. Ideas welcome!

OP posts:
Original poster
Emilyontmoor · 19/10/2019 20:13

thecornish We know from previous experience, especially of the woman who lived beneath her that she relishes direct confrontation. She can’t bear to be challenged and escalates the bullying when she is. It becomes a power struggle. The girl who lived below her was an assertive independent young professional and she was in the right but she reduced her to a nervous wreck. The Police were really sympathetic in the end when they realised they had been played. That is my problem, I don’t want to escalate it but at the same time I don’t want to submit. Though what exactly I do other than now have to play chess with her bin on the pavement every week I am not sure. At least all the neighbours are watching out for me.

OP posts:
Namaste6 · 19/10/2019 20:18

I'm with @Lulualla !!

Kaddm · 19/10/2019 20:20

What a nasty bitch she sounds.

I think you will just have to carry on moving it.

Although you could take a time and date stamped photo with your phone every time she does it and report her for antisocial behaviour.

hallohallohallo · 19/10/2019 20:22

Emilyontmoor Our council has given us bins for everything! It's the most OTT place I've lived. A bin for glass, another bin for plastics and tins and paper, another bin for general rubbish and a green waste bin. The even more confusing thing is they're all collected at different times. Green waste is every 2nd week. Rubbish is every 2nd week, but the opposite weeks to the green waste. Recycling bins are every week. Took me ages to get it all figured out and everything in the right place at the right time.

I would try to avoid and ignore her as much as possible. Agree with pp, phone the council and report her bin on the pavement. Hopefully a few £3,000 fines will soon stop her doing it.

beckyvardy · 19/10/2019 20:24

Stick this on it. She will soon take the bin in the silly bitch.

AIBU to think my neighbour is bullying me with her bin
Original poster
Emilyontmoor · 19/10/2019 20:35

Becky 😂😂😂😂 I have a dog too 🤔

Moaning I am always reluctant not being a Psychiatrist to make a clinical diagnosis but yes 😂

OP posts:
Twillow · 19/10/2019 20:45

From your diagram, it merely looks as if she put her bin in front of her house - although your car happened to be parked there?

Original poster
Emilyontmoor · 19/10/2019 20:57

Twillow No she manoeuvred her bin out of her alley, around a five foot tree trunk to plonk it almost touching my front car door with the recycling bins blocking my back door. Of course of all the other places she could put her bins Including the usual place at the end of the alley it may have been random 🤔

OP posts:
Ginqueen20 · 19/10/2019 21:13

I’d be advertising it as a spare bin for sale or report to council so they can collect it! Does she purposely park outside your house too? I have a passive aggressive neighbour who puts her bin blocking my gate every collection date despite having a whole corner of her own to put it so I feel your anger. The poo bin sticker would be very tempting Wink

Original poster
Emilyontmoor · 19/10/2019 21:28

DD has been you tubing songs about wheelie bins to play at full volume through her bedroom wall It is a surprisingly rich seam 😂

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 20/10/2019 20:19

DD has been you tubing songs about wheelie bins to play at full volume through her bedroom wall It is a surprisingly rich seam

That sounds a bit like bullying too.

Looks like you may deserve one another, your neighbour and you....

makingmammaries · 20/10/2019 20:59

The humourless types are on the prowl.

OP, can you try putting it in random places? Across the road/ round the corner. Clearly can’t be her bin, since it keeps ending up on your path, so...

WiddlinDiddlin · 20/10/2019 21:15

There are some folk determined to have it in for the OP regardless of what's actually going on.

From your diagram I can see that moving the bin from your car, your only option IS to leave it blocking one of the doors of HER car, unless you are meant to take her bin all the way home, it's going to be blocking someones access to some thing.

I'd just keep moving it out of the way and otherwise ignore, she's going to need it back at some point to put her crap in there... if by next bin day its made its way halfway down the street, well.. tough titties!

TheBigFatMermaid · 20/10/2019 21:21

I am just astounded by a landlord not renting a seemingly perfectly good flat because the downstairs person he lets to is a nightmare. I think he needs help to grow some balls! The existing neighbours needs to make his life harder for her being there than it would if she left! Complain, complain, complain!

Original poster
Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2019 00:34

She seems to have gone away for half term, not been in all weekend and still no sign, though it isn’t half term here until next week. Her bin is still outside and the Council have sent all an email to all of us who complained acknowledging they will investigate whether this is “wilful obstruction”. Annoyance at her pathetic behaviour got put in perspective today just getting my daughter into the car. Why would anyone make that more difficult, when it makes no difference to them.....

OP posts:
minesagin37 · 21/10/2019 01:06

Stop moving bins around. That's childish. Go and speak to her.

TheMaddHugger · 21/10/2019 03:00

get a bike chain and lock. lock it to her side somewhere. Throw away the key ??

TheBouquets · 21/10/2019 03:01

Slightly off the theme of the thread but still on the same lines.
It seems to be similar round here. We have a neighbour who permanently leaves one of their wheelie bins on one part of the pavement at the front of their house and then another of the wheelie bins on another part of the pavement so that no one is meant to park in front of their house. They have a driveway so dont need that space themselves. Some other residents in the street do the same and they have driveways too. The residents without driveways are territorial about where they want to park their cars.
Apart from access to the driveways being clear I dont see what grown adults are doing being so touchy about ground they dont own. I would love an explanation.

Original poster
Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2019 09:08

A man from the Council rang at 8.15! Clearly she is flagged up on Council systems as he is wanting to be very proactive and focus on her behaviour as a whole, especially the shouting and noise, with a view to moving on to an anti social behaviour order and possibly involving the multi agency safeguarding team. He asked us to keep a diary of the anti social behaviour especially the noise and shouting for the safe neighbourhood team at the police station as a follow up to our original statements.

I suspect there is more to this than we know as he seemed very keen to have our further evidence. Although this is a leafy suburb we do have areas of deprivation nearby and the same stretched resources as in most areas now so if he is taking this so seriously then they must have grounds for concern we don’t know about.

OP posts:
Grafittiqueen · 21/10/2019 09:11

Given this woman's prior history any action on your part will just escalate this. If you want a peaceful life ignore it and she'll hopefully get bored and stop.

Any tit for tat action is likely to ramp up action by her. You would be foolish to engage.

longwayoff · 21/10/2019 13:52

Sigh. I'm very glad I live here, not there.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page