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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with DH

39 replies

Mummyshark2019 · 19/10/2019 11:19

He's started to go out after work once a week. Starts at six and does not come home until late. Last night was 5 am. Is this normal for a man in his 40s? I don't mind him going out for a few drinks but this is another working day given the amount of hours he is there. Wtf is he doing?

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 19/10/2019 11:21

I'd think he was having an affair sorry.

Duchessgummybuns · 19/10/2019 11:23

If you asked to join him what would he say?

LagunaBubbles · 19/10/2019 11:23

Wtf is he doing?

What does he say he is doing or where he is when you ask him?

formerbabe · 19/10/2019 11:24

My oh goes out once a week after work...but he's home well before midnight...I'm fine with this. I wouldn't be happy with 5am

Original poster
Mummyshark2019 · 19/10/2019 11:24

That he's with colleagues having drinks...

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 19/10/2019 11:25

Midweek or Friday?

Is he leaving you at home with the DC? Is he fit for anything the next day?

What has been the discussion about this?

Original poster
Mummyshark2019 · 19/10/2019 11:26

Yes midnight would be ok but early hours of the morning? He's not in his 20s and has a family. It's just not normal. Bars shut at like 2 or 3. I am so fed up. I want to trust him but I am not sure if I can.

OP posts:
Countryescape · 19/10/2019 11:26

5am? I’d say he’s having an affair. Sorry OP.

Original poster
Mummyshark2019 · 19/10/2019 11:27

Fridays usually but has been mid week. If mid week then back by 2ish and still up for work next day. If back late on Friday he does not get up until the afternoon.

OP posts:
swingofthings · 19/10/2019 11:27

where does he go drinking until that time? How old are his colleagues? Most are responsible and go home at a reasonable time.

Original poster
Mummyshark2019 · 19/10/2019 11:28

Colleagues are younger but still. Central London is the location. .

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 19/10/2019 11:28

I think it's important to keep up a social life. There's two threads in this at the moment.

So the night out isn't an issue, it's the time it finishes and how it impacts on family life.

You need a proper discussion on it.

MysweetAudrina · 19/10/2019 11:29

Affair or coke. No other explanation imo.

JengaNonConfirming · 19/10/2019 11:29

My ex husband started doing this, it then got more frequent. Supposedly meeting up with an old school mate, who turned out to be a blonde half his age.

Ponoka7 · 19/10/2019 11:29

Ut doesn't mean he's cheating, though. Many places stay open until 4/5am.

SprinkleDash · 19/10/2019 11:33

If he’s working all week I’d say a night out away from the family is absolutely reasonable!

Rayn · 19/10/2019 11:36

Sorry but I would presume cheating too... Or mid life crisis. Especially during the week. I could.donit when young but not in my forties x

Ringdonna · 19/10/2019 12:06

Affair definitely.

Marmozet · 19/10/2019 12:16

Affair.

Babynamechangerr · 19/10/2019 12:28

If it's suddenly a thing I think it could be an affair, and worth digging to find out more.

If he's never shown much of an interest in partying until late before it does seem suspect.

My dh does this very occasionally but he's always been a party animal and its only a few times a year not every week.

I'd try and find out the names of some of the colleagues he's meant to be out with then look on social media, as there might be pictures of their nights out.

But I'd also be looking at his phone for signs of an affair.

KUGA · 19/10/2019 12:29

Male or female colleagues ?.
If the latter he`s more than likely cheating on you.

Babynamechangerr · 19/10/2019 12:31

The other thing is if he is out until that late but not that hungover suggests he hasn't been out all night drinking...

TheMustressMhor · 19/10/2019 12:33

Do you think he's having an affair, OP?

AfterSchoolWorry · 19/10/2019 12:40

Coke or other women/men...

Original poster
Mummyshark2019 · 19/10/2019 13:02

Really don't know if affair but not ruling it out. Will see if I can do some digging. This all started when he joined his new company about a year ago. Previous to that he used to come home every day after work.

OP posts: