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AIBU?

Help... I’ve done something really stupid

67 replies

LionsShare · 18/10/2019 20:12

I text my ex asking him out on a date.

He hasn’t replied yet and I just want to crawl into a hole or burn my phone so I never know the answer.

Clearly I have been unreasonable, so how do I graciously style this out when he inevitably replies no? I can’t even blame being drunk, haven’t had a drink all week. I miss him and have had a shit day so thought this would make me feel better!?

OP posts:

Report

Doesitevenmatternow · 18/10/2019 23:09

Oh come on, this is nothing! You are just feeling vulnerable and exposed. Send nothing more until he replies and if no reply, who cares? You will be over it way quicker than you think.

Minorityreports · 18/10/2019 23:15

Somebody loves Boris. Don't be disrespectful guys. FFS. Heeeeee

Privac · 18/10/2019 23:15

Lol at The packet of dates PP

rwalker · 18/10/2019 23:17

if he replies no then just reply something like "note to self hide phone when pissed lol"

Bouledeneige · 18/10/2019 23:50

If he replies no, simply reply ' Thank god! Sorry about that'.

I have sent so many regrettable texts I could line my coffin with them.

Ryah76 · 19/10/2019 00:23

So 3 weeks ago, the day after our 5 year wedding anniversary my husband dropped the bombshell that he had feelings for aw. Turns out the woman is his colleague who he manages and who previously dated HIS manager. I just don’t get it? She’s mentally fragile, So much so that when the relationship with his boss ended she reported him to HR, citing unfair treatment because of the affair. She was then prescribed anti depressants. I actually cannot look at my husband, he has caused so much pain. We’ve been through ICSI due to his low motility and we had a miscarriage earlier in the year and says that this left him depressed. He’s moved out and he told me he thinks he ‘has to date her,’ but he also says he hasn’t made any permanent decisions yet. I do love him , but he has said some really painful things to me, like he no longer loves me. I’ve told him I never want to see him again and he can start divorce proceedings. I really want opinions on this, Am I doing the right thing? I just can’t keep crying or thinking of them together anymore.

Ryah76 · 19/10/2019 00:28

Oops , did not intend to piggyback on this thread

Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 19/10/2019 01:05

Ryah76
Please leave him. He has told you he thinks he has to date her. How old are you? I just think someone in mid to late 30s would see this as a red flag xx best advice I got which has worked for me, games are only games if the other person is playing along. That is, if someone is playing games with you and you don't know the rules well then it's not a game it's cheating xx

CAG12 · 19/10/2019 08:00

@Ryah76 I think you'd get more traffic if you started your own thread.

But fwiw, this woman sounds like a grade A twat, and so does your husband. Please leave him.

LionsShare · 22/10/2019 21:43

So he didn’t exactly say no... but I don’t think he really wants to see me does he?

The first text I sent said did you want to do something next week. He replied saying ‘oh erm I don’t know what did you have in mind’ - I thought that sounded like a nice way of saying I’m not really sure why you’re asking me so I replied with sorry that was probably a bad idea! He said it’s not a bad idea, he just wasn’t expecting me to ask.

He asked what I wanted to do so I said could go for a drink. He said yeah that’d be nice but didn’t suggest a time. He only gets his shifts for the week on a Sunday so can’t plan anything for the week after until then. He hasn’t text again to say when he’s free or that he wants to go still so should I just leave it? Or do you think he’d be waiting to see if I say a time I’m free?

OP posts:

BanjoStarz · 22/10/2019 21:57

Why is he an Ex?

If all the reasons for him being an Ex are either resolved or don’t exist anymore and you genuinely do want to see him then message to suggest a time.

If you were just messaging cos you had a bad day and felt a bit nostalgic then I’d take the opportunity to bow out gracefully here and just not follow it up.

CAG12 · 23/10/2019 06:50

Honestly id leave it. If he wanted something to happen he'd be making it happen.

MRex · 23/10/2019 12:41

@LionsShare - He doesn't know if you want to hang out as mates, get back together, tell him you have an STD, confess that you're dating his brother... It all comes down to why he's an ex. If the reasons why he's an ex aren't good enough then suggest some times to meet.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 23/10/2019 12:45

I'd just leave it to be honest. Can you block him to stop yourself from doing it again?

And yes, we've all done it. Well, I certainly have. Live and learn... onwards and upwards OP.

rainbowstardrops · 23/10/2019 13:33

Why is he your ex?

satanstoenailsandwich · 23/10/2019 17:46

Leave it

Doesitevenmatternow · 06/11/2019 22:16

Did messages go something like this?

Do you wanna meet up next week?
What did you have in mind?
Probably a bad idea.
No it's not, I'm just surprised.
Well how about a drink?
Yes that would be nice.

If that was the last communication from him then I would send one more text.
"Does Thursday suit to meet for that drink?"

If he says yes or no but suggests another time then game on.
Anything else, block and ignore forever.

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