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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help... I’ve done something really stupid

67 replies

LionsShare · 18/10/2019 20:12

I text my ex asking him out on a date.

He hasn’t replied yet and I just want to crawl into a hole or burn my phone so I never know the answer.

Clearly I have been unreasonable, so how do I graciously style this out when he inevitably replies no? I can’t even blame being drunk, haven’t had a drink all week. I miss him and have had a shit day so thought this would make me feel better!?

OP posts:
MRex · 18/10/2019 20:47

Just wait to see what he says. It doesn't matter if he says no, why should it? This whole "must be cool and not say we like someone" idea is very silly if you think about it, reframe your thought process that it doesn't and shouldn't matter. You want to see him, you've asked to see him. Simple. Now he should decide what he wants.

Why was he an ex? Are you sure he isn't seeing someone?

Sagradafamiliar · 18/10/2019 20:49

Don't pretend you meant it for someone else. Beyond cringey and you'll end up on the 'whoops didn't mean to' subreddit.

bakesalesally · 18/10/2019 20:50

Was it a Whatsapp? You can delete if so!

category12 · 18/10/2019 20:57

Eat a tub of icecream and replay it in your mind a few dozen times, have a bit of a cry, go to bed. In the morning, it's a fresh day and never happened.

Wheat2Harvest · 18/10/2019 20:58

Text back apologising and saying that you had meant to send the text to someone else and sent it to him out of force of habit.

That gets you out of the mire - you don't have to wait to be rejected, and it will make him wonder who your new man is.

Redshoesandtheblues · 18/10/2019 21:02

Own it!
If he says No, say yup, bad idea, I totally agree. Just a brain fart moment.

Redshoesandtheblues · 18/10/2019 21:05

I tried the ...'oops, meant for someone else' tactic once and it was cringeworthy. Couldn't even bluddy lie convincingly on text! 🤭

EmeraldShamrock · 18/10/2019 21:05

Is it such a bad idea.
Why did you break up? I always find when a relationship breaks down usually one party wants to rekindle, the other not so much.

Minorityreports · 18/10/2019 21:06

Send a text:

'Sorry, was feeling a little horny. Sorted now'

That should do it.

Honeybee85 · 18/10/2019 21:09

Oh what you did is nothing compared to the stupid stuff me and my friends have done.
Don’t beat yourself up over it.

Don’t do anything, simply wait (he might say yes!) and if he declines the offer, don’t react but delete his number to protect yourself against future weak moments. And have a glass of wine tonight with a friend who can cheer you up and doesn’t say: I told you so.

chrisski33 · 18/10/2019 21:11

No way should you say it was for someone else. We don't know the reasons why you split and could cos more bother. I'd leave it and just say you had a drink after a bad day. Although if your wanting to get back with him and he says yes you never know 2nd time lucky!

Minorityreports · 18/10/2019 21:12

If he hasn't replied (and baby I'm going through the same shit), he doesn't give a shit.

Span1elsRock · 18/10/2019 21:15

Chalk it up to experience, and delete his number so you can't do it again. We all do silly things sometimes............ life's too short to worry over it Flowers

SleepWarrior · 18/10/2019 21:15

"Yikes, that text was a moment of foolish nostalgia. Glad you haven't replied with a yes as it wouldn't be a sensible plan... we broke up for good reason! All the best!"

taytosandwich · 18/10/2019 21:17

DO NOT TEXT HIM AGAIN until he replies. If he says yes then happy days. If he says no nicely then be nice back and just say you're right of course x if he sends a not nice message back then lucky escape he's a dick so block him.

Sending multiple messages now is so so bad even if it's the coolest most convincing lie ever.

Ticklemeelmo · 18/10/2019 21:19

It's not that big a deal so don't worry about it. Do not send a follow up text whatever you do, terrible idea. Just delete his number now and forget about it unless he replies

formerbabe · 18/10/2019 21:23

Wait to see what he says...

If yes, then see him if you want to.

If no, say you were drunk...he's not to know otherwise.

Tunnocks34 · 18/10/2019 21:26

I did this once! I feel your pain. I was ignored which was even worse than being rejected!

LemonPrism · 18/10/2019 21:42

How would he know you haven't had a drink?

peachycore · 18/10/2019 21:47

like @sickysicky said - block him and forget it.

Elieza · 18/10/2019 21:47

Ignore. It’s just your pride that’s dented. Either he replies and says yes or he ignores and blocks you. Or says no.
Either way it can’t get any worse and you know where you stand.
Give him a week to reply. He may be on holiday or busy. Don’t text again. Block him after a week if you have to. If you can’t handle the suspense. Meanwhile go out with friends or watch your fav tv prog or film to cheer yourself up.

Justaboy · 18/10/2019 22:34

The 64 mega dollar question is;

What did he text back;?.

MyMumIsADimensionJumper · 18/10/2019 22:37

So you asked him out 'for a date'? Easy. Knock his door with a packet of Medjoul dates in your hand and say you've been waiting outside to give them back to him for ages and it's rude to ignore text messages.

GuessWhoColeen · 18/10/2019 22:39

Ignore the fact you did it!

Cryalot2 · 18/10/2019 22:40

I thought you were going to say you had fallen in love with Boris .