WIBU to put DD in her swimming costume for baths

[NaviSprite]

Mum of Twins here DD and DS turn 2 next Monday.

DS is fine in the bath, except trying to find any way to climb out of it, he usually stays put just enough to get him cleaned properly.

DD however HATES the bath, she always has, the minute she feels the water against her she starts to cry, full on plaintive wailing and me and DH have tried everything we can think of as follows:

• Baby bath for a bit longer (she never liked the baby bath either so not much of a comfort for her)
  
• Baby bath in big bath.
  
• Me in bath with her
  
• DH in bath with her
  
• Toys in bath (that we let her choose)
  
• Letting her play with the water before putting her in.
  
• Lots of water play outside of the bathroom to get her more comfortable with water in general.
  
• Only putting the bare minimum of water into the bath so she’s not too immersed (she had breathing difficulties as a baby and I realised that fully sitting her in water distressed her).
  

-Bathing her in the Kitchen sink instead (in case the size of the bath or the slightly unfamiliar environment of the bathroom was frightening her).

We’ve being going at the slow, steady, fun, relaxed approaches for months and it’s the same every time, the moment her bottom hits the water she panics. Even if I sit her on me so she’s not in direct contact with the water, she panics.

My Mum recently bought her a swimming costume which DD hasn’t worn yet but she carries it everywhere like a blanket because she really likes it. DH thinks putting her in a swimming costume for a bath is a bit counterproductive as it won’t mean she’s fully washed, but as I’m usually the one who has to bathe the twins I’m the one who has to handle her obvious fear of it each time! (Not because DH doesn’t want to bathe them but during the weekdays he’s at work and usually I’ve had to get them in the bath before he gets home).

Is it worth trying to see if having that bit of a barrier between herself and the water helps?

Has anybody else any experience of a baby/toddler who seems to be terrified of bathing no matter what you do? I’m hoping that as she grows and her language develops a little bit more (she’s not yet able to talk except the odd phrase/word here or there, it’s still sentence like babbling) that she’ll get past her fear.

I now find myself dreading bathing her, but she’s in that incredibly messy phase of wiping her dinner all over herself (especially her hair!) so I can’t just do her a wash down as a compromise anymore.

I haven’t tried bathing both at the same time yet as I can barely manage to keep DS in place and don’t think I could safely have them both in there without DH to help wrangle them.

Sorry for the long winded moan about bathing a toddler - I’m having a bit of a stressful week and in the lead up to bath time this evening (and my period kicking in today) I’m feeling a little neurotic I guess?

[RolytheRhino]

Why are you pandering to a child?

Because children and their feelings matter? Because sensory issues do actually exist and cause real distress to those that have them?
Because you an adult not understanding an emotion doesn't make it any less real to the child?

[Therarestone]

Definitely try the swimming costume.

I used to put the tablet on the side so she could watch postman pat while she was in the bath which distracted her x

[CottonSock]

My dd had a phase like this, a tiny bit older. We tried taking her to her friends house for a bath with her (they were very close). Worked like a dream.

[jwpetal]

Do what you need to do and if dh doesn’t like it, have him do it. I had 1 + 2(premature) and survival is key. My son wore lightening McQueen pyjamas for weeks. Didn’t hurt anyone and we got out of the house. He is 12 now and no longer wears them. Those were the hardest days so be kind to yourself

[Poppinjay]

OMG stop pandering to her or everything will be a battle, start how you mean to go on, she does as shes told. You are the parent.

Being a parent doesn't mean you should terrorise your child just so you can say you're in charge.

Taking a different approach to help a child in a situation that makes them fearful is nothing to do with behaviour management. A capable parent can have firm boundaries without forcing their child into situations that terrify them.

[manicmij]

Give the costume a try. You don't need to be scrubbing at 2 year olds anyway just sitting in the water will suffice. Could you get a plastic doll and put a bathing costume on that for DD to take in the bath with her. Sometimes a similar companion helps with confidence. Or, if happier sitting in the shower. Good luck.

[Happyandglorious]

Hi Op, my daughter was similarly terrified of baths at that age -her fear was related to hair washes. She bathed in a paddling pool for months (we live in hot country)
I would try swimsuit -to get her more relaxed in water. Also bath toys and water crayons. Anything that will make it more about play and less about water. Good luck

[NaviSprite]

Thank you to all who offered alternative solutions, it means a lot and we braved the shower today, it wasn’t a complete success, but she wasn’t nearly as hysterical, so it’s an improvement so far, I did put her in the bathing costume, but it turns out, she doesn’t like wearing it! So instead I let her hold onto it and put her in the bathroom with toys, bathed DS (today he decided that he wanted to play outside in the mud - which he is fascinated by), she watched but with her “i’m still not doing it Mummy” face.

She then got to play with the shower head (bought one that goes on the taps as PP’s suggested) I switched it off and on as a game and she seemed to enjoy it, managed to do that on the floor of the bathroom (lots of towels on the floor) and I managed to clean her quickly (we had some crying but nowhere near the fear induced hyperventilating that baths caused).

As she is being assessed for sensory issues/aversions I avoided her face and head as suggested here and did a sponge down to wash her hair which she seemed to like. Thank you all again.

And to any who think I’m pandering, maybe you didn’t read the full thread, but I had mentioned DD was premature and very low birth weight, contracted bronchiolitis in NICU which lead to a lung collapse. This resulted in her being on oxygen for the first year of her life. So if I need to pander to spare me the sight of her truly hyperventilating, which if she does too long will likely result in a call to the emergency services, then I shall pander away, she’s only two FGS.

[TriciaH87]

Are you sure it's not the bath she's scared of. My niece hated baths until I sat her in it fully clothed with her two sisters. Made a game of it they were on a bus a c had to lean to the left to turn left n to the right to turn right. Also taught her directions. Has she been swimming before if not take her and put her in her costume see how she is with water there. If she's OK try the showers. This will tell you if it's the bath or a sensory issue. Look up dyspraxia as my eldest had issues with the temperature it had to be what I would consider cold for a baby for him to be OK in it. If the costume works mind I would give it a shot in the mean time and see if helps overcome any potential fear.

[TriciaH87]

Bath was empty I might add