WIBU to put DD in her swimming costume for baths

[NaviSprite]

Mum of Twins here DD and DS turn 2 next Monday.

DS is fine in the bath, except trying to find any way to climb out of it, he usually stays put just enough to get him cleaned properly.

DD however HATES the bath, she always has, the minute she feels the water against her she starts to cry, full on plaintive wailing and me and DH have tried everything we can think of as follows:

• Baby bath for a bit longer (she never liked the baby bath either so not much of a comfort for her)
  
• Baby bath in big bath.
  
• Me in bath with her
  
• DH in bath with her
  
• Toys in bath (that we let her choose)
  
• Letting her play with the water before putting her in.
  
• Lots of water play outside of the bathroom to get her more comfortable with water in general.
  
• Only putting the bare minimum of water into the bath so she’s not too immersed (she had breathing difficulties as a baby and I realised that fully sitting her in water distressed her).
  

-Bathing her in the Kitchen sink instead (in case the size of the bath or the slightly unfamiliar environment of the bathroom was frightening her).

We’ve being going at the slow, steady, fun, relaxed approaches for months and it’s the same every time, the moment her bottom hits the water she panics. Even if I sit her on me so she’s not in direct contact with the water, she panics.

My Mum recently bought her a swimming costume which DD hasn’t worn yet but she carries it everywhere like a blanket because she really likes it. DH thinks putting her in a swimming costume for a bath is a bit counterproductive as it won’t mean she’s fully washed, but as I’m usually the one who has to bathe the twins I’m the one who has to handle her obvious fear of it each time! (Not because DH doesn’t want to bathe them but during the weekdays he’s at work and usually I’ve had to get them in the bath before he gets home).

Is it worth trying to see if having that bit of a barrier between herself and the water helps?

Has anybody else any experience of a baby/toddler who seems to be terrified of bathing no matter what you do? I’m hoping that as she grows and her language develops a little bit more (she’s not yet able to talk except the odd phrase/word here or there, it’s still sentence like babbling) that she’ll get past her fear.

I now find myself dreading bathing her, but she’s in that incredibly messy phase of wiping her dinner all over herself (especially her hair!) so I can’t just do her a wash down as a compromise anymore.

I haven’t tried bathing both at the same time yet as I can barely manage to keep DS in place and don’t think I could safely have them both in there without DH to help wrangle them.

Sorry for the long winded moan about bathing a toddler - I’m having a bit of a stressful week and in the lead up to bath time this evening (and my period kicking in today) I’m feeling a little neurotic I guess?

[Breathlessness]

Showers for getting clean, play time in the bath at a different time of day with an inch or two of water and special bath only toys.

[SirVixofVixHall]

We also had a long grippy mat on the inside of the bath, as the slipperyness frightened her, so when she was a bit big for the seat she felt secure on the mat.
Bath seats can be dangerous unless you watch the baby constantly, as you would do without it, in case it topples. I see that Mothercare do a mat with a little seat support built in, that can’t tip over, which is a better idea, but obvs need to watch the toddler anyway.

[amysara24]

When I was a nanny, the boys I cared for were 1 and 3 - they loved showers! It was like a game. They also had a real interest in bath bombs, so I got some child friendly ones and once they were in the bath and had themselves washed I would let them use bath bombs. Some of the kids ones are fun colours / have toys inside. Play doh also do bath toys that dissolve and are good fun!

[Jellybeansincognito]

This is cruel but I just think sometimes - especially with things that aren’t negotiable like washing, teeth brushing etc. You just have to get on with it.

My son (2.5) screams like a banshee atm every time we shower, but we only have a shower so he just has to lump it. We remain calm and not show that anything is wrong, and just keep our voices calm whilst washing him.

there’s not much else you can do. Just one of those things.

[Purpleartichoke]

Dd hates baths from birth. Showers always went better. I would g

[QuantumWeatherButterfly]

When my DD went through a phase of hating the bath, it turned out that it wasn't anything to do with the water, it was that she didn't like the feel of the non-slip bathmat on her skin. New bathmat = problem solved.

From your description, I think it is extremely unlikely that is the issue here (her history of not liking the baby bath makes me think that), but I thought I would mention it as something that might be worth a try.

[TreestumpsAndTrampolines]

This is out of left field, but DS2 is sensitive to a preservative in some cosmetic products/wipe (instant bleeding nappy rash if you used a wipe with it in).

I once put him in a bath with bubbles, and he started screaming - I lifted him straight out and his body had all gone pink, so I read the bottle and it had the preservative in - I'd not thought that such a tiny, dilute amount could possibly make a difference so hadn't checked.

It's probably not the case, but could it be that the bath is actually hurting?

[Butterchunks]

What about bath bombs or crayons? Or put some music/ cartoons on your phone for her to enjoy as a distraction? My dd (3.5) is fine in the bath but hated getting her hair washed so we both dreaded bathtimes. We had success with putting pinkfong or super simple songs on from YouTube/Amazon prime (started off with the bath themed ones but we all like them so much we've watched the whole lot of them). We sing along to the music and make up songs about washing toes and belly buttons and silly things. I thinks this relaxes her (and me knowing how stressful it is when she's screaming blue murder getting her hair rinsed).

As much as I have been reluctant to use sweets and food as a reward (to try to give her a better relationship with food than I have currently) I have had success with plain bribery. I get a small bowl of jelly beans which she can see when she's in the bath and she gets one every time she is brave and lets me do a step of the hair washing. Eventually it has got a lot easier and over time there's been less resistance, except on the odd occasion wheres she's overtired etc. I know this is slightly different to your problem but you never know what might work. Hopefully this will get better with time. Good luck.

[yabadabadontdoit]

Goggles and/or swimming ear plugs might be worth a try? Might be she’s had water in her eyes or ears and it’s hurt at some point? Just check there’s no lower age for the earplugs.

[GarethSouthgatesWaistcoat]

Is she scared of water and shampoo running down her face/into her eyes? Worth trying one of those kids' shampoo shields in conjunction with the shower?

IKEA do a nonslip crocodile bathmat

Put some songs on and sing along while you're getting her ready and continue once she's in the bath/shower? Do you think the distraction would help?

It might be worth buying the same swimming costume in the next size if she gets attached to it!

[Butterchunks]

Oh, and glow sticks are also great in the bath as a distraction

[TheNoodlesIncident]

I wouldn't give her the shower head to hold - unless your bathroom is a wetroom..?

I'd put her in the bath without any water in, with lots of toys that are okay to get wet, and just give her a quick wash with a cups of jugs of water, like a pp suggested. Just baby steps to start with. Her undercarriage is the bit that needs a clean more than her back or her arms, say, so I wouldn't put the swimming costume on her at all. You might find she has sensory issues with wearing the costume anyway even though she loves it and wants to hold it (which I would let her do in the bath anyway), it might be a different kettle of fish actually having it on...

[Breathlessness]

The shampoo shields can also stop food getting into the hair during dinner time if you’re in a hurry and don’t have time for baths/showers

[Chocolateandcarbs]

Will she sit on the edge of the bath and play with a toy watering can? My toddler does this for at least 5mins before eventually getting into the bath every night, i don’t know why... but it has stopped her bathtime worries!
I would 100% try the swimming costume.

[reluctantbrit]

I would give the shower a try first. DD only got a bath 1-2x a week, otherwise she got a shower, less water, less time consuming and easier for us.

[CravingCheese]

I'll second the shower suggestions. Showers are imo absolutely heavenly. She may feel the same?

@antisupermum 's suggestions sound really good as well imo...

But if all else fails? Sure, why not try it with her wearing (and not just carrying) the bathing costume?

[CravingCheese]

Btw, my sister's child hated baths as well... Their solution was to let her in the bath with bathing crayons (? You'll get a colorful tub...)and then slowly filleä the tub with her together (on/off, on/off) basically. Took quite some time but it did keep her entertained....

[ArfArfBarf]

All three of mine went through a lab anti-bath phase at that age. We used bath toy bribery to lure them back in.

Some ideas...
Taking a dolly in to bath
Pouring cups
Bubbles
Bath crayons

[managedmis]

Of course

Why wouldn't you?!

[GrouchyKiwi]

Mine like a fountain shower, where we put the shower head on the floor and the water sprays up instead of down.

[Durgasarrow]

I think it's a brilliant idea

[user1480880826]

Definitely try the shower. Mine loves a shower.

[AlpacaGoodnight]

Go for it! I would try the shower first too, my eldest loved a shower from tiny, she sat and played like she would in a rainy puddle! I know you mentioned toys but has she got a doll that she can play with and wash as you wash her? Might be worth a go if not. Good luck!

[NoEntryIntoTheMind]

Oh OP, I had this when my very independent DD was a toddler. It is bloody hard (and that's even without adding in a twin!). We did showers where I held her and she showered with me. I got bloody cold but she felt supported and safe. She got used to showers the in end and we worked up to baths. She doesn't love either but she tolerates it (and no longer screams).

DD just had/has an innate fear of water. We also did years worth of swimming lessons - she still can't swim properly but we've given up now. She did the basic safety bit - so can do the star fish, don't panic thing if she does end up falling into water, but she can't swim lengths as she always freaked out when actually having to swim.

You have my utmost sympathy. I hope the shower works and would also try the swimming costume too. Bathing in a costume is better than not bathing at all!

[averythinline]

have you tried a small baby tub? like these? or we just did a stand up wash in a tub trug - that shoudl be clean enough...whilst letting her play/watch ds

www.amazon.co.uk/Tummy-Tub-0005000UK-Clear/dp/B000OROBMM?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21