Do I cancel?

[mamamasala]

Right, so it's my son's birthday tomorrow. He's only 1. I have thrown a party. A shocking 16 out of the 30 invited have pulled out in the last 3 days. I'm so upset and the people coming now aren't really even my friends. They're family friends and more close to my parents. ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE PULLED OUT. It's embarrassing. Disheartening. I've bought food, drink etc. For 30. I've just had enough of shit friends. How do I make this a non embarrassing empty event? Or do I just carry on and hope it's okay?

Do your friends have kids? If not they probably don't realise what a milestone it is for you. Do they have a special connection with your child?
Honestly I don't even invite my girlfriends to my children's birthday parties anymore. And they don't really bother to come and see them either. Some people just don't understand what it's like to have kids and what these events mean to you.
Don't take it personally. I love taking my kids to parties but if I didn't have a child it can be a bit awkward to just be stood there if it is mainly children.

I'm sure it will be fine with who you've got there! Celebrate with your family and enjoy it.
Well done for getting to 1!

The key is how many kids are coming. If it was 26 adults who dropped out then whilst it's annoying no reason to cancel. If it was mostly kids who pulled out and there aren't may more kids coming maybe reschedule?

Gosh! I'm glad some you aren't my friends and I don't have shitty friends.

What is it with MN who think no one should have a get together for a 1yo and it's a crime to invite people?

When my ds was 1 I did an open house over a 5 hour period and just said food, drink, chit chat and see if DS I'd he's awake!

Sorry your friends are being shitty but I'd still go ahead. And think of all the party food and cake you'll get to eat that those 16 won't

Don't cancel the party. Enjoy,have fun,be silly and celebrate with the people that want to be there.

Tbh I suspect at least some of the 16 ,especially if they don't have kids of a similar age, simply got a better offer/another event to go to, given the high number of cancellations.

I can totally understand why you are cross. Its not really a childrens party in the sense it will be when they are older. Its more an adult gathering similar to what you might do for your own birthday isnt it?

I would go ahead with those who do come and rethink your friendships with the rest.

It's an adult focussed party, celebrating the first year (and in my experience, essentially a replacement for a christening party for non-religious people).

In spades

Definitely don't cancel. Have the party and store up any extra drink for Christmas/NYE. Freeze anything that can be frozen. Then just concentrate on having a nice afternoon with those that can make it. You might find your family friends are actually quite fun.

No excusing the mass cancellations but there are plenty of vomiting bugs circulating where I live so it might be a blessing that some people have cancelled.
Chin up and celebrate the last year.

It's really shit to accept an invitation and turn it down last minute

Also a one year olds party is just a gathering of adults, it's no more boring than any other gathering of adults. On MN everyone jumps in to say that no one else cares about this that or the other, and everyone else will find it boring. I always wonder if some posters actually have any friends, certainly any they like.

I always enjoy seeing my friends no matter what the official reason for gathering is, and I care about their lives. I actually give a shit about their children too, I don't know why Id waste my life spending time with people I don't care about and find boring.

Throw the party and have a great time!

I think it's more the fact they've initially said they'd go and then cancel when the date gets closed.
Do these friends all know each other?
And what are the excuses?

I've been to friends kids bday parties .. with and without having kids of our own... but I have also turned down invites to them. The famous Mumsnet saying "its an invite not summons" comes to mind but it is really rude to say you'd do something then not follow through without genuine reason.
And when the excuses kept coming I'd have to start giving a passive aggressive response .

Deeply unpleasant people on this thread. Not sure why an 80th should be more fun than a 1st birthday, or why a 1st birthday needn’t be fun! Or why OP isn’t allowed to throw a party for her child or for 30 people.

It’s fucking rude and your friends are all wankers.

Yes that’s a shitty thing to do. I am so sick of everyone thinking they are soooooo busy! People are obsessed with it and use it as a stock standard response. Mostly it’s a load of crap. If they got off Facebook, Instagram,Snapchat,Twitter etc they’d have plenty of time.

Why on earth did you invite 30 people for a party for 1-year old...? Half of which are not even your friends, why did you even invite them - it sounds absurd!? And your 1-year old would most likely prefer a quieter birthday with just his parents anyway.

A pp wrote this earlier in the thread:

I’ve read your other thread OP & you’ve been going through a lot so I understand why this must be upsetting however in that thread, you said you’ve been avoiding your phone / ignoring messages (75 unread messages) because you can’t deal with interacting with people at the moment. Do you think your friends might feel that you’ve been ignoring them hence the cancellations?

Perhaps this has a bearing on the cancellations.

I agree with @crispysausagerolls , but then I usually do!
Hope you have a lovely day OP

I'm inclined to agree with posters saying that it's a bit - erm - unusual to be invited to a 1st birthday party unless you are grandparents or siblings living locally. However, it is rude to first accept an invitation and then pull out at last minute without a pretty pressing reason.
For so many people to have done it, I do wonder if you just assumed they were coming and that they haven't all formally replied saying they would definitely be there and then all had things that have made them change their mind at the last minute.

Hosting a party for 30 people is had esp with a 1 year old! So maybe see it as a blessing and just be thankful for those who do come. My friends without kids didn’t come to my kids party’s nor would I expect them to.

you said you’ve been avoiding your phone / ignoring messages (75 unread messages) because you can’t deal with interacting with people at the moment. Do you think your friends might feel that you’ve been ignoring them hence the cancellations?

I think this is spot on.

you said you’ve been avoiding your phone / ignoring messages (75 unread messages) because you can’t deal with interacting with people at the moment. Do you think your friends might feel that you’ve been ignoring them hence the cancellations?

As a PP pointed out, you said the above in another thread. I suspect it’s because of that ^

Ah - that does show OP in a different light.....

The people who matter, such as your parents will be there. "Friends" are fickle and come and go. Enjoy the party

Go ahead with it and let your parents friends make a fuss of you and go gooey over your baby. Plus...presents

Hmmm maybe that's a bit you are not telling us? - logic says they can't all be unreliable?

Does that mean you've got enough Prosecco for thirty?

Enjoy your 'thank fuck I've survived 12 months' party.

**I'm also a bit shocked at people saying they wouldn't attend because it's boring or not a milestone event. Lots of events are boring and not milestone- baby showers, engagement parties (where you know you've also got to go and celebrate the stag or hen and wedding), Halloween parties housewarming etc.

But sometimes people do things for other people because they care about them.**

^This. So so rude. Your friends aren’t friends OP. And for 16 to pull out quite sounds organised to me.