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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do you feel about this?

35 replies

gwackywacky · 17/10/2019 17:32

So I found a dress for my sisters wedding that I really love after much searching. She didn't want bridesmaids and it's not happening in a church but it's quite a posh do.

Now she texted me saying the grooms sister is going to wear a dress the same colour as me so theres a sense of theme.

Not sure why I feel a bit weird about this but I feel almost a bit "awww".

What do you think?
YABU = get over it, it's just a freaking dress colour for your sisters wedding
YANBU = yeah i kind of get where you're coming from

OP posts:
milienhaus · 17/10/2019 17:34

What does “awww” mean? Like you’re sad / annoyed? I also don’t get whether you’re being told to wear another dress or annoyed that the sister will be matching you?

TequilaAtJoes · 17/10/2019 17:34

Bit odd that. Not worth crying over, but yes, odd.

IndigoHexagon · 17/10/2019 17:35

Is she wearing it at the request of the bride so you both look like attendants? Or just because she likes that colour too? Also, it’s it ‘this season’s colour’ rather than something a bit different? I always find that dress colours do follow a trend, especially at this time of year.

Finfintytint · 17/10/2019 17:35

Yes, get over it. It doesn’t matter.

Mummae21 · 17/10/2019 17:35

Not your wedding.. let them get on with it. X

BrassTactical · 17/10/2019 17:35

She isn’t having a big do and sounds like she likes that there will be a colour theme. Your sister is happy so suck it up buttercup Grin

Cuddling57 · 17/10/2019 17:36

I found a dress for my sisters wedding that I really love after much searching

We'll stick with it and make sure you rock it Grin

seaweedandmarchingbands · 17/10/2019 17:36

Oh who cares? Wear what you want and let her wear what your sister wants. You’re not going to notice on the day.

Cuddling57 · 17/10/2019 17:36

Also YABU

Original poster
gwackywacky · 17/10/2019 17:37

@milienhaus thanks for replying! No no absolutely not told to find another dress.

I don't know really it's a bit hard to explain. Obviously I'm not SAD that would be weird. I cant really describe why it feels strange. Maybe because we all choose our dresses to look our best and maybe stand out a little in a nice way, and I guess if we're matching it takes away a bit from that in some way. Maybe I'm being stupid though

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 17/10/2019 17:40

It's the bride who's supposed to stand out - the rest of you are just background noise.

CAG12 · 17/10/2019 17:45

You're being ridiculous. I could SLIGHTY understand if it was the same dress, but the same colour?! Are being serious?!

It'll be ok

KurriKurri · 17/10/2019 17:54

What colour is it ? Unless it is orange or something, there will probably be several people wearing similar colours.

milienhaus · 17/10/2019 17:55

In the nicest possible way I think you’re being silly - it’s your sisters wedding, she should be the focus, and you’re in a dress you really like. Use it as something to bond with the SIL over!

Windydaysuponus · 17/10/2019 17:59

I didn't have bridesmaids/etc as such but all my dc wore black and white. Looked fab imo!!

Drum2018 · 17/10/2019 18:07

I gather the grooms sister found out what colour your dress was and is now planning to get one in the same colour in order to create a theme. Or your sister decided that the grooms sister should get a dress in the same colour to create a theme. Either way that's shit. It's a bit silly to all of a sudden create a theme by getting guests to wear the same colour. I'd be very tempted to return the dress, pretend it didn't fit properly and get a different coloured dress. You are a guest who can wear what you like - you're not part of a bridal party so the bride doesn't get to dictate what colour anyone wears.

MrsMaiselsMuff · 17/10/2019 18:11

the bride doesn't get to dictate what colour anyone wears.

She's not. The OP has chosen the dress herself.

EC22 · 17/10/2019 18:14

So she’s wanting you to look like bridesmaids/ wedding party, but not formally ask or say.
Weird. I’d not be that pleased either but wouldn’t say.

Original poster
gwackywacky · 17/10/2019 18:30

Yeah I'm actually more interested in why it doesn't sit right than the actual actuality of it tbh.

I think it's just feeling a bit like....either have bridesmaids and coordinating and all that stuff or if you're wanting it non traditional just do non traditional and let people be able to Express a bit of individuality?

It's not about wanting to upstage the bride at all, more like it's nice to wear something that feels unique to you. It's the specific shade shes matching (it a dove grey kind of smoky purple).

I dont if this was my sisters idea or his

OP posts:
Original poster
gwackywacky · 17/10/2019 18:31

It just feels a bit lame and kitsch tone matchy matchy in the exact same shade of dress with his sister

OP posts:
Original poster
gwackywacky · 17/10/2019 18:31

But as ever I will bow to the collective judgement of MN! Maybe I'm being a bit precious and whiny

OP posts:
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 17/10/2019 18:33

"Not sure why I feel a bit weird about this but I feel almost a bit "awww"."

Is that "awww" sort of disappointed that you'd found something special for the occasion and now someone else will have it too? I can get that.

But ... if the bride has asked the other person to wear the colour you chose, isn't that flattering your taste quite a bit? And if they just came up with it for themselves, that's pretty flattering too.

How does the groom's sister feel about it, if she was asked to copy you?

Anyhow, you could look at it this way: after the wedding is over, you will still have the super dress that you chose for yourself because you really liked it and it's a colour you love -- that won't be taken away just because someone else has a dress the same colour.

Bluntness100 · 17/10/2019 18:36

I think you're going to find others there in dove grey unless it's a tiny wedding, I don't understand what dove grey smokey purple is as a colour, so the odds of it being the same as someone else's is remote. Very remote, as dove grey smokey purple is not something I've ever seen.

Original poster
gwackywacky · 17/10/2019 18:38

Bluntness just imagine the colour of a pigeons neck Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
gwackywacky · 17/10/2019 18:38

But a bit more purpley

OP posts: