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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty argument AIBU

47 replies

Pettyargument · 16/10/2019 07:52

Sorry it’s long and petty. Am in NZ, this Saturday night is a big game in World Cup rugby. Game will start around 12:15am. DH says tonight his friend wants to come round to watch it and should we invite the whole family for dinner first. I said fine for dinner are they all coming (step family so sometimes they have 1 DS sometimes they have 3 DS) he says they’re all coming. Their youngest and my youngest are 12yo so I wanted him to ask if they all wanting to watch the rugby as it’s a really late night probably till 2am. He says isn’t it obvious that they’ll all want to watch. Not obvious in my opinion as I don’t care at all and my 12yo doesn’t either so we will both feel obligated to stay up. He asks his friend who basically says duh of course they’ll all want to watch. DH is then really annoyed at me for even caring if they were all staying for the rugby - why can’t I be more easy going, why does it even matter etc etc but I feel like we’ll all be obligated to stay up till 2am so it does matter right? Anyway we’ve had a big fight about it so AIBU and uptight or is it fair enough to want to know what the plan is?

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 16/10/2019 07:54

Those that want to stay up, stay up. Anyone who doesn’t can go to bed surely?

Vulpine · 16/10/2019 07:55

I would hate that

Hahaha88 · 16/10/2019 07:57

I think it's pretty obvious that he was inviting them round to watch the game. But just because some want to stay up doesn't mean everyone needs to.

LendAnEar · 16/10/2019 07:58

Surely it would be far better for your DH to go to the family's house rather than you have to host dinner and loads of people?

If my DH had a go at me like that I'd tell him to shove it all up his arse. No one would be coming over.

CurryAndCobra · 16/10/2019 07:58

Just go to bed if you don't want to. Let the people who want to watch stay up all night and entertain themselves.

Aridane · 16/10/2019 07:58

Those who want to stay up do so. Those who don't want to don't!

Rachie1973 · 16/10/2019 08:00

No one expects you to stay up for the rugby. I think perhaps that’s what he means by ‘easy going’. Everyone just does what’s suited to them.

Ginfordinner · 16/10/2019 08:05

Sorry, but you are over reacting. This is such a non issue. If you don't want to watch the rugby then go to bed. No-one is forcing you to stay up.

This is not worth falling out about.

Original poster
Pettyargument · 16/10/2019 08:05

Just to clarify I’m friends with the wife (through our DHs so not close friends) and the two 12yo are also friends - does that make a difference with going to bed while they’re here or can I just do that and it’s fine?

OP posts:
Ginfordinner · 16/10/2019 08:10

It's fine. Just warn them beforehand that you won't be staying up.

AmIThough · 16/10/2019 08:12

If you know the adults are going to watch the match why does it matter? You're being a bit unreasonable, especially as a one off.

Tableclothing · 16/10/2019 08:13

Just go to bed when you want to go to bed. It's fine.

TheAlternativeTentacle · 16/10/2019 08:14

Just got to bed.

Naturally he will be doing the cooking though right?

hanahsaunt · 16/10/2019 08:14

The joy of you hosting them is that you can go to bed when you like. If they had invited you it would be more of a pickle. Complete fuss over nothing as it stands.

TheAlternativeTentacle · 16/10/2019 08:15

I think thought if my OH's family/friends were all round here to eat, drink and watch rugby til the early hours I'd be off to a hotel for the day/night.

Original poster
Pettyargument · 16/10/2019 08:15

They’ll all watch the rugby though with their 3 DSs - but if it’s fine to go to bed then I totally will!!

OP posts:
Awrite · 16/10/2019 08:15

Rugby? Snowballs chance in hell I'd stay up. Friends or no friends.

Vulpine · 16/10/2019 08:17

Depending on how big ones house is - i would hate to go to bed whilst a gang of people were watching sport downstairs till the early hours

Original poster
Pettyargument · 16/10/2019 08:17

Yes he will do a BBQ so I guess cooking of sorts

OP posts:
DonKeyshot · 16/10/2019 08:19

Go to bed when you're tired and if the game's still on wear earplugs. Smile

NearlyGranny · 16/10/2019 08:25

I think it would be nice to offer a quiet space to crash and sleep for any visitor who wants to. That sets the precedent that you will be getting your head down!

NearlyGranny · 16/10/2019 08:25

Oh, and don't be clearing up any tinnies in the morning!

Original poster
Pettyargument · 16/10/2019 08:28

I did think I should at least offer the 12yo a sleepover for the night especially as my 12yo DS will want to go to bed

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 16/10/2019 08:35

I'd say to child to bring a sleeping bag, so they can crash out if they want to.

HugoSpritz · 16/10/2019 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.