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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed at MIL

31 replies

mummaB89 · 16/10/2019 05:11

Every year on Boxing Day we go to my husbands sisters house. It's our nephews birthday which they just use as excuse to get pissed. After last year DH said no way was he going there again on Boxing Day to watch every one get drunk, it's quite a drive for us and we later found out I'm pregnant so we have the perfect excuse. We decided we would stay home all over Christmas unless we go to see his parents Boxing Day/Christmas Eve. When I asked MIL her plans for Christmas she said she has SIL and her kids and DH nan and grandad over Christmas Eve & Christmas Day and then will be going to SIL for Boxing Day. AIBU to be pissed off that my husband and children haven't been taken into consideration at all. We haven't been invited nor asked our plans for Christmas despite MIL having the whole family over. DH acts unfazed but I know it gets to him

OP posts:
Apolloanddaphne · 16/10/2019 05:42

What do you normally do on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? It sounds like your ILs are just doing their usual thing and not expecting you to be with them for those days because that is not the norm. You have already said you want to have Christmas alone anyway and you don't want to go visit your SIL as you would normally on Boxing day. I'm not really sure what they have done wrong.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 16/10/2019 05:46

This is the reverse of most MIL/Christmas threads isn't it?

Yes you are being unreasonable. Your MIL does not need to keep a Christmas slot free for you. She's doing what she wants at Christmas.

You are not being unreasonable not to want to join this Boxing Day piss up. Watching other people get drunk is so dull.

AJPTaylor · 16/10/2019 06:13

Did she not assume she would see you boxing day at sil?

Bucatini · 16/10/2019 06:28

This seems to fit with your plans though? You wanted to be at home for Christmas and you will be?

HerkyBaby · 16/10/2019 06:31

Having read some of the other posts on MILs and Christmas just rejoice in the fact that your presence is not required and that you can do your own thing.

readingismycardio · 16/10/2019 06:32

Christmas & no in laws around? You should be THRILLED

flouncyfanny · 16/10/2019 06:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PennyGold · 16/10/2019 06:39

YABU you're not thinking about her or her family at Christmas (very much doing your own thing) so why should she think about you?

Beveren · 16/10/2019 06:51

If you and your DH don't want to watch them getting pissed on Boxing Day, why do you want to watch them getting pissed on Christmas Day?

blametheparents · 16/10/2019 06:51

What do you usually do Xmas eve / Xmas day? From hour description it doesn’t sound as if you usually see your MIL and that side of the family.
Sounds like your MIL is doing what she usually does - it’s not her fault that you don’t want to go on Boxing Day (which you have every right to decide)

AmIThough · 16/10/2019 06:58

Are you upset that you haven't been invited for Xmas dinner, even though you don't want to go, and don't want them to come to you?

eddielizzard · 16/10/2019 07:01

It is hurtful for her to leave you out like that, but thinking that way will only fuel the flames. Think how you'd feel if she had asked you, and feel happy you've had a lucky escape...

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/10/2019 07:02

It sounds as if you don’t invite them over either. So you can’t expect to be included in plans if you don’t reciprocate. Is your mil house closer? If it is, I’d go for a couple of hours after lunch xmas eve or Xmas day. They won’t be too pissed by then. Job done.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/10/2019 07:04

AmIthought Put it so much better - that’s what I was getting at.

NoSauce · 16/10/2019 07:05

I thought you wanted to use the excuse of being pregnant to stay at home??

Tinkobell · 16/10/2019 07:32

Errrr.....but you didn't want to go anyway, did you? Sounds like you wanted a right of refusal but for other people not to hatch their own festive plans? Controlling.

Clangus00 · 16/10/2019 07:39

You didn’t want to go & told them that last year, so they made their plans without you all. Tough luck.

Sheld0r · 16/10/2019 07:43

I don't understand why you're annoyed at your MIL. She assumed this year was going to be the same as every other year and would see you on Boxing Day. She's not a mind reader. How was she to know that you were planning to make an excuse about not going to SILs? YABU

Windydaysuponus · 16/10/2019 07:43

Sounds perfect!! Have your own Christmas without factoring in piss heads....

KatherineJaneway · 16/10/2019 07:52

YABU. You don't want to go and probably made that clear if the tone of this thread is any indication so this year you are not invited. I can't see what the issue is.

NoCauseRebel · 16/10/2019 07:57

Essentially what you’re saying is “we said we couldn’t/didn’t want to be there on Boxing Day and now I’m upset that they haven’t found another day to invite us.” But you were the ones deciding you didn’t want to do Boxing Day. It’s not as if they cancelled Boxing Day and then organised a family get together without you is it?

YABU.

Sushiroller · 16/10/2019 08:02

We decided we would stay home all over Christmas unless we go to see his parents Boxing Day/Christmas Eve

So....You decided to stay at home all over Christmas as a first choice. This is what will happen - rejoice!
You sound like you hate SIL & co anyway so why spend Christmas day (& your babys first Christmas) in a presumably overcrowded house with them????

Yabu because you are getting exactly what you want just not on the terms you'd like. Hmm

NearlyGranny · 16/10/2019 08:16

I think you dodged a bullet! If their idea of celebration is total Immersion in alcohol, you're better off seeing them in the run-up or New Year one weekend.

Your Christmas sounds lovely and you get to make your own precious traditions.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 16/10/2019 08:27

You've made plans and so have they. What's the problem? Did you want an invite anyway?

Whoops75 · 16/10/2019 08:31

Would you have gone?

You get to have the Christmas you want, what’s the problem?

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