To be pissed at MIL

[mummaB89]

Every year on Boxing Day we go to my husbands sisters house. It's our nephews birthday which they just use as excuse to get pissed. After last year DH said no way was he going there again on Boxing Day to watch every one get drunk, it's quite a drive for us and we later found out I'm pregnant so we have the perfect excuse. We decided we would stay home all over Christmas unless we go to see his parents Boxing Day/Christmas Eve. When I asked MIL her plans for Christmas she said she has SIL and her kids and DH nan and grandad over Christmas Eve & Christmas Day and then will be going to SIL for Boxing Day. AIBU to be pissed off that my husband and children haven't been taken into consideration at all. We haven't been invited nor asked our plans for Christmas despite MIL having the whole family over. DH acts unfazed but I know it gets to him

If you usually go to SIL's on Boxing Day, and haven't told anyone that you aren't going this year, maybe your MIL presumes she will see you, as usual, on Boxing Day at SIL.

Unless your MIL is psychic, YABU

I really don’t see the problem, you wanted a Christmas at home and they’ve made other plans without you?

Huh?

You haven't been invited? But you don't want to go?

She's doing what she wants at Christmas.

She is confirming she doesn’t care about seeing her son and DIL at all over Christmas.

Can’t anyone see that is a pretty shitty thing for a mum to do? Can anyone imagine doing that to their children when they are grown?

MIL does this to OH. We’ve been together 20 years and have only ever spent 4 christmases with her. DD was four before MIL came to us for Christmas, and even then she only did it because BIL decided he was going overseas. She’d only ever had Christmas with BIL (since her son’s were grown up) and when we got together refused to come to ours ever for Christmas. Because we had our first one together by ourselves, she stopped inviting OH.

It was incredibly hurtful for OH and later for me once DD came along.

“She’s doing what she wants” is a shitty reason to leave half your family out.

Talk about a dog in a (Christmas) manger...you don't want to go, you had no intention of going, you made it clear you were staying at home, but now you're not invited (or so you think, you don't know for sure, for all you know your mil is expecting to see you on Boxing Day like she always does) and you're still mardy...talk about being bloody unreasonable and more than a bit controlling.
Get over yourself!

Sounds like she deprived you of the joy of refusing the invitation.