Birthday dinner - AIBU

[ivygem]

my DD has the same name as a local restaurant - she is young (single figures) thinks it’s GREAT it has ‘her name’ and we went when it first opened and she had a ball. It has all sorts of paraphernalia associated with her name and in general is a really nice place but it’s pricey. Her birthday soon and when I asked her what she wanted to do she wanted to go to said restaurant with all her friends. They are too young and I obviously said no due to that and the ridiculous cost but said we could go with family on her actual birthday instead and she can have a separate party with friends on the sat. Great. My DM immediately said no for her and my dad - she had form for this - saying she doesn’t like anything on the menu and it’s too expensive. So I booked it just for us (DD DH me) and my sister who said she could come. My DM changed her mind the other day as she realised she wouldn’t really see DD around her birthday (kids party etc) and asked if I could add her to the booking. It’s completely fully booked and they have said no. My sister thinks AIBU and should change to another restaurant. I disagree. AIBU?

YANBU, as it was a request from your DD whose birthday it is.

Stick to your original booking.

She was given the option to join you and chose not to. Don’t disappoint your daughter on her birthday.

Of course you are not unreasonable.
It is DD's birthday, not DM's or DS's.

Very mean of DM to refuse in the first place, & mean of both of them to expect a young child to give up an exciting treat she has already been offered for her birthday.

Nah you snooze you lose

You are not being unreasonable and this should teach DM a lesson

YANBU. It's a shame she now can't come but oh well

It wouldn’t be fair on your DD to change it; this is her treat and it’s your mums fault she isn’t coming

It's not fair on your DD to change it.

Do not change your booking. Your daughter has asked to go and you have a table. Just explain that you have tried to extend the booking but have been unsuccessful. You can not pander to everyone changing their mind. Next time they will say yes straight away!

Don’t change it.

Old mum might learn something from this. Like not to be a miserable twat when it comes to celebrating your grandchild's birthday.

YANBU

You've already compromised on what your daughter would like to do

Of course YANBU.

One simple message to your mum and sister

I am not changing the booking. You know why that specific place is DDs favourite place. Taking her there IS her birthday treat.

Maybe next year!

Yanbu the whole point is that it’s that place!

YANBU. It’s not your sisters birthday it’s your daughters who wants to eat there. Your DM will just have to suck it up

Don't change it. She can go another time.

Don't change it! I really wanna know where it is 🤔

Is it The Ivy?
I wouldn't change the booking. It doesn't matter that they won't see DD on her actually bday. Go for brunch, lunch or birthday cake another day.

Very mean of DM to refuse in the first place

Very mean indeed!!

My mum would eat anywhere DD picked regardless of whether she liked the menu or not. In fact, we would never know because she wouldn't even tell me.

You're DD is looking forward to it.

As long as her name isn't McDonald 😁

YANBU. And if your sister is so bothered, she can give her place up for DM.

I wouldn't bother changing it and would offer to host the grandparents for tea and birthday cake another time. You did initially offer they come and they refused, it isn't your daughter's fault so why should she miss out especially of she asked for this one treat for her birthday.

Tell your sister to give up her seat if she feels that strongly otherwise wind her neck in. Yanbu

Tough shit! Stick to the booking!