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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If I let him move in

36 replies

Telecros · 15/10/2019 11:12

Name changed as I don't want this thread to follow me around.

Ex has just broken up with his girlfriend and he is going to move out and has asked a few of his friends if he can stay with them. And they have said no. He hasn't asked me but we are on good terms so I'm thinking of asking him

What should I do?

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/10/2019 11:13

depends....do you have kids, are you "friends" now, why did you brake up, is he the type to sponge off you or will he pull his weight, pay his way etc.

JacquesHammer · 15/10/2019 11:13

If you're amicable, have moved on and would do it "officially" i.e. with him as a lodger, then why not?

Is there a reason why all his friends have said no? Is it personal or just practical?

If you still have feelings for him, then don't do it.

Booboooo · 15/10/2019 11:14

Stay out of it

limpylegs · 15/10/2019 11:15

Absolutely not. Is this serious?

OldEvilOwl · 15/10/2019 11:15

Please remember why he is an EX. He hasn't even asked you, so why would you offer. Let him find somewhere else

BertrandRussell · 15/10/2019 11:15

If you have kids- absolute 100% no.

PumpkinP · 15/10/2019 11:15

No

TheMustressMhor · 15/10/2019 11:16

It really does depend on whether or not you still have feelings for him.

If you have and you know he hasn't still got feelings for you, I would say don't do it, as you will likely get very hurt.

Are there any children involved?

SpinneyHill · 15/10/2019 11:16

Why can't he sort himself out?

SpinneyHill · 15/10/2019 11:17

WOAH! He hasn't asked you? So how do you know? Stay the hell out of it, this has trouble written all over it

IncrediblySadToo · 15/10/2019 11:17

Too little information to even hazard a guess

ChuckleBuckles · 15/10/2019 11:18

Why have all his other friends said no? I would stay out of it.Madness lies this way OP

Telecros · 15/10/2019 11:47

We broke up because we would be better of as friends. No children are involved. I think he would pay me as he said he would've paid his friends. I don't know why his friends said no.

I don't have feelings for him

OP posts:
aweedropofsancerre · 15/10/2019 11:50

Why are you interested in offering him a room? Seems a bit odd

mauvaisereputation · 15/10/2019 11:51

Are you sure you don't have feelings for him? Why are you entertaining this hypothetical scenario? I don't think it would be a good idea to have him stay with you anyway.

BlastEndedSkrewt · 15/10/2019 11:52

why have all his friends said no?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/10/2019 11:52

Why can he not find his own place instead of just asking friends if he can move in? You know, pay a deposit and rent, like everyone else.

VimFuego101 · 15/10/2019 11:53

If he would pay you, then why can't he just rent his own place? Why did his friends all say no?

Telecros · 15/10/2019 12:01

He told me because he said he split up with his girlfriend. And he said that he wouldve only stayed for a few weeks whilst he found his own place.

I'm not sure why his friends said no

OP posts:
twoshedsjackson · 15/10/2019 12:43

My guess is that, if you give in to this charitable impulse, it will only be a matter of time before you remember why he is your ex. At the moment, you are remembering the past kindly, as we all tend to do.
If in doubt, why not ask his friends why they declined?

walkintheparc · 15/10/2019 13:02

Absolutely not - if people close to him are saying no, take that as a sign!!!

walkintheparc · 15/10/2019 13:02

You don't need to rescue him, not your problem anymore.

Telecros · 15/10/2019 13:09

He's my ex because we are better off as friends. He didn't do anything wrong.

I know he isn't my problem anymore

OP posts:
Windydaysuponus · 15/10/2019 13:12

Presumably at this moment in time his friends are more in the know....
Take notice of them saying no. It's for reasons you aren't privvy to but there will be reasons...

Telecros · 15/10/2019 13:23

He said his friends probably said no because he doesn't know them much (new job). I don't want him to have no where to go but his friends have said no so I don't know what to do

OP posts:
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