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AIBU?

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Original poster

Off comment made

34 replies

Unhappy345 · 14/10/2019 18:12

A comment has been made by a friend and I guess I feel a bit put out by it?

So details are my DC has had to have glasses to strengthen eyesight. I've been nervous putting them on DC around people, but DC loves them. Yesterday I just sucked it up and did it, went fine everyone loved them.

I took them off for a period and friend was discussing her DC and made a comment that some "four eyed git was picking on their DC at school". I ignored it but it hurt at the time because I thought we were passed all that with glasses wearing (seen so many postive posts on here with children wearing them and kids not batting an eye at it), friend is not the sort of person who says that stuff and works with kids too.

I know I'm over sensitive right now (hormones), I know that much but was this kinda shitty? I was just so nervous for comments like this surrounding glasses wearing but not off an adult about another child.

Maybe I just need to harden myself up for DC when it eventually happens, but I think what put me out was it was a close friend commenting on a little child wearing glasses.

OP posts:
LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 14/10/2019 18:13

What a stupid woman. I hope you mentioned it to her later on.

Pandaintheporridge · 14/10/2019 18:14

Sorry, a friend called another child a four-eyed git? You need better friends.
And why are you nervous about the glasses, your dc might pick up on this. Well ok, you might be nervous as you have a twat for a friend!
I can see said friend is upset about her dc being picked on, but there's no excuse really.

Original poster
Unhappy345 · 14/10/2019 18:32

Yeah I did wonder if as soon as they said it they regretted it? Foot in mouth you know? But it shouldn't of been said at all anyway.

I know what you're both saying, usually I would but i don't have the energy right now for arguing it out with them, not worth the time. It was a rare get together anyway so won't be happening again soon. It just really bothered me, and this was about a very young child too.

And why are you nervous about the glasses, your dc might pick up on this

Well more for stupid comments like this I guess? Kids I totally expect it but not an adult. I'm trying not to be, it's only a recent thing (4 weeks now, built up to wearing permanent) so it's a bit of new thing for me seeing DC wearing them (sounds really stupid I know).

OP posts:
Nottheduchess · 14/10/2019 18:34

Why on earth would you be nervous to put glasses on your child? That’s crazy.

Original poster
Unhappy345 · 14/10/2019 18:44

@Nottheduchess Because of the very comment that was made and as a mum, id never ever want DC to feel shit about themselves.

I guess it's inevitable and I can't cotton wool them, but I actually wasn't bothered about it lately until the comment was made and I was really proud of DC for keeping them on, I'd rather their eyesight improve so they don't need them in the next few years too.

OP posts:
slashlover · 14/10/2019 18:47

How will them not wearing their glasses improve their eyesight?

Kids are always going to find something to pick on.

MsMD · 14/10/2019 18:47

I think the real story here is you being nervous about it. That more than anything else is what would put your child off wearing them.

Your friend shouldn't have said what she did. However if she was complaining about a child picking on hers it's possible she was just feeling protective and emotional, and regrets what she said especially if it's so out of character for her.

Original poster
Unhappy345 · 14/10/2019 18:49

@slashlover

You missed the point where DC has worn them the last 2 weeks all day? DC is a toddler. And a child didn't say it.

OP posts:
fernandoanddenise · 14/10/2019 18:50

You’ve been unlucky, I honestly thought that picking on glasses wearers died out in the ‘80s!?!
Everyone WANTS glasses where I’m at and the kids at my kids school who wear them have cool styles and look awesome.
Your mate was being WEIRD in my view. Try and ignore it x

mistressiggi · 14/10/2019 18:51

Obviously I don't hear everything, but I've never heard pupils at school use that insult anymore, not for ten years. I think it'll be fine - and your child probably won't need them long term anyway.

slashlover · 14/10/2019 18:55

You missed the point where DC has worn them the last 2 weeks all day? DC is a toddler. And a child didn't say it.

You didn't say that. You said you had been building it up for four weeks and yesterday sucked it up to put them on,

Forgive me for not realising that meant they had been wearing them for 2 weeks solidly.

SallyLovesCheese · 14/10/2019 18:59

I've been teaching ten years (primary, from Reception to Year 6) and never heard a child pick on another child for wearing glasses. I wear them too and hope that helps children feel less self-conscious.

Try not to worry. Your "friend" has made the only comment I've heard in the last 25 years of wearing glasses. I would have called them out on it.

Rubywhoo · 14/10/2019 19:01

I think she was just pissed off and used any insult she could without really thinking and without really meaning it.

PumpkinP · 14/10/2019 19:02

I wouldn’t worry my friend always makes horrible comments about fat people and I’m fat. I try not to take it personally.

Original poster
Unhappy345 · 14/10/2019 19:11

You didn't say that. You said you had been building it up for four weeks and yesterday sucked it up to put them on

Apologies, I did reread it, I did initally put it but deleted it as I don't want to have long drawn out thing about DC wearing them cause that's not my issue.

@mistressiggi and @fernandoanddenise

Thank you both for positivity, I didnt think we were going around doing it as adults anyway.. I guess I just worry as DC is first baby.

Dc doesn't need them long term fingers crossed, just first couple of years while eyesight is developing.

OP posts:
DaveMyHat · 14/10/2019 19:12

Maybe your friend had glasses on her mind, seeing your ds's, and it was just an unfortunate and poor choice of words about a situation that made her upset. Definitely not a nice comment but her kid is getting picked on. I can imagine she probably felt like an idiot after she said it. Obviously it wasn't a nice thing to say and I don't know her, but I think it could have been one of those speaking before you think kind of comments that you make and then straight away inwardly cringe when you realise what you've said.

I don't think getting picked on for wearing glasses is a thing anymore. My dd's best friend wears glasses and as far as I know she has no problems from anyone. My DD has never really mentioned that she wears glasses to me, I just know from seeing her. And they're quite thick lens ones too. I've seen that a few kids in her class wear glasses.. I think it's pretty unremarkable.

DaveMyHat · 14/10/2019 19:15

@PumpkinP on the other hand I think your friend sounds quite nasty. Repeatedly making those kind of comments is just unnecessary.

Mydogmylife · 14/10/2019 19:26

Your friend is nasty, but I'm a bit more concerned about your 'sucking it up' comment. I started to wear glasses when I was very young ( inherited my dear dads duff eyesight) but at no stage did I ever feel that wearing glasses was something to be ashamed of! Please do try to make sure your feelings on this don't trickle through to your dc.

StockTakeFucks · 14/10/2019 19:30

I work in a school and a lot of the kids wear glasses. No comments are made,unless they have a particularly cool pair. So no need to fret over it.

As for your friend she was upset and lashing out, at that particular kid not you or your son. She could've just as well called him a "stupid twat" or whatever. Yes she insulted a small child and picked on something that is "different " . She might be a horrible person, or someone upset and fed up by their kid being hurt and or bullied by someone else.

If she's someone you don't really like, forget about it and distance yourself from her.

If you would like to stay friends,leave it a few days and mention it, odds are she'll be mortified that you took it personally.

Hecateh · 14/10/2019 19:41

Whilst your 'friend' shouldn't have said that - she was annoyed about a child's behaviour and used an easily noticeable feature to refer to that child. That is not acceptable

BUT

If she had said a MALE or a FEMALE brat was picking on her child would you have immediately felt it was an issue because your child is also male or female.

She shouldn't have said it but it was the behaviour she was upset about and not the fact that the child wears glasses - she was thoughtless and clumsy in her description.

Original poster
Unhappy345 · 14/10/2019 19:47

Thanks for the teachers posting, been a long time since I was in school. Made me worry less, just occasional unfortunate comments might be said I guess.

I can imagine she probably felt like an idiot after she said it

The more I think about it the more I feel it was a foot in mouth situation, fueled a bit. There could of been another word used, I just think in any sort of situation it's shit to pick on a person's looks (like what's been said fat, thin, glasses even hair colour) it's shitty.

Please do try to make sure your feelings on this don't trickle through to your dc

This is not just cause DC wears glasses, I think id probably be protective if it was anything else. I wear glasses for driving ect so it's honetly not an issue. It's just me a bit worried this was still being used.

OP posts:
Bracknellite · 14/10/2019 19:55

As a glasses wearer of 40 years may I suggest
“Not four eyes.... two eyes, one pair of glasses you thick cunt”
Should work a treat.

Nonnymum · 14/10/2019 20:00

I think there are about 6 children in my DGC class who wear glasses. It's not unusual and no one thinks it's odd. I'm fact one child who doesn't need glasses was upset that they can't wear them too. Your friend was being very cruel. Making comments about a child's appearance is terrible. Is she usually so insensitive?

Nonnymum · 14/10/2019 20:02

she had said a MALE or a FEMALE brat was picking on her child would you have immediately felt it was an issue because your child is also male or female.

Nonnymum · 14/10/2019 20:04

Sorry posted too soon. Wanted to add there is no comparison PP because male or female is just a description. Calling someone 'four eyes is a derogatory comment based on the child's appearance.