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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's *not* more dangerous on the streets for kids than when we were kids?

81 replies

Echobelly · 14/10/2019 11:52

I do hear parents saying they don't let kids who are old enough, IMO, to be out and about a bit (say 10-11) saying 'But it's not like it was in our days' or 'There are so many nutters out there'

I'm in early 40s and was walking about 10-15mins to local shops and back and forth to best mates house 10 mins away by age 7 (suburban London). I didn't let out my kids that young mainly as they didn't have friends living that close and there are so few kids of that age around independently I was worried someone would report me! I did start sending DD to corner shop (less than 30seconds away) from age about 7 and a half and I think she only reported to me once someone expressing concern about her (and not calling the police, thankfully!)

I think cars, the biggest danger, were just as big a danger 'in my day' and in fact people generally drive more slowly and safely in towns than they used to (other than those looking at phones Angry )

I think 'nutters' have always been an infintessimally small risk and there's no evidence there are 'more nutters these days' - just more news channels!

DD started walking to and from school about a mile away from final term at primary as I knew she would need to make her own way to and from secondary school and most people do seem to accept kids walking then, but I don't get why so many don't seem to allow them to do anything unsupervised until right at that moment.

OP posts:
GrumpyHoonMain · 14/10/2019 11:59

I agree with you. I am almost your age and the streets were much less safe. We had gun crime instead of knife (not in London) and pimps / drug dealers trying to recruit kids from primary school. We also had a lot of white gang related hate crime (stephen lawrence case seemed to inspire a lot of copy cats).

Dahlietta · 14/10/2019 12:07

I disagree about cars- I think there are far more about these days and they are bigger and more powerful. Otherwise, I don't think you're wrong, but I think what has changed is a perception of acceptable risk. My parents will talk about the things they got up to as children 'before the age of health and safety', but both of them had friends who were seriously injured and, in one instance, killed, doing things that kids probably wouldn't be allowed to do these days. That doesn't mean that the risk doesn't remain relatively small, but nor does it mean that nothing happened to any children in the days when people worried less.

Underhisi · 14/10/2019 12:10

There is more traffic and I think that older children/ young teens are more of a target than when I was that age (I'm 50) - stealing of phones, knife crime etc but I don't think there are more child snatchers or abusers about.

Helmetbymidnight · 14/10/2019 12:10

There's zillions more cars and trucks on the roads and these cars are heavier and faster than ever. Even when they're not moving, more cars parked on the roads means less visibility/safety for pedestrians.

Surely you accept that?

SellmeyourMLMcrap · 14/10/2019 12:11

I think the roads are far more dangerous these days than 30 years ago. Without looking at stats I'd guess there must be twice the number of cars on the road, possibly more. And I don't think driving standards have increased.

Crime rates would generally be quite a bit lower I'd guess.

Overall I don't think it is more or less dangerous for children to go about their business on their own. But I would be more cautious about having them cross busier roads than my mother was with me I think. There is definitely a more cautious approach to this kind of thing in parents these days, often with negative outcomes for the children.

Original poster
Echobelly · 14/10/2019 12:14

I was actually hit by a car aged 8 (entirely the fault of my own inattentiveness, the driver wasn't doing anything wrong) but that's not put me off sending them out, though I wanted to be really sure they check everything when crossing. I didn't see the car coming out of a turning because I was daydreaming (as usual) so I have taught the kids to not forget turning and cars pulling out of parking spaces.

In London, at least, if there is more traffic it's probably an advantage in the suburbs - when I was a kid you saw far more cars bombing it dangerously fast down local roads, whereas it's a relative rarity now.

OP posts:
eddiemairswife · 14/10/2019 12:18

I think a lot of children are less aware of traffic dangers, because so many journeys are made by car that children aren't constantly being taught road skills.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/10/2019 12:18

We are in the middle of a knife crime epidemic, countless young people being stabbed and dying, in the middle of the day

It’s not safe.

My DS (16) was told my another 16 year old recently at a football match that he can’t be seen speaking to him cos they are from “rival” postcodes. My DS is not involved in any gang activity, but because of where we live, is judged by this boy
You can be in the wrong place or talk to the wrong person with devastating consequences

So no, it really isn’t safe

PumpkinP · 14/10/2019 12:18

I think it depends on the child tbh. There is no way I would send my 7 year old to the shop on his own and he wouldn’t want to go anyway. We live on a busy main road in London so no kids play out.

roisinagusniamh · 14/10/2019 12:21

Also we have less children so don't have the older ones watching out for the younger ones when they are out and about.

sarahjconnor · 14/10/2019 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Schuyler · 14/10/2019 12:26

There are more cars on the road, that a fact. It worries me but I do let mine play out. Denying the risk is silly.

TottieandMarchpane · 14/10/2019 12:27

Depends on age, location and ethnicity, sadly.

PhantomErik · 14/10/2019 12:30

Actually I do think it's more dangerous now.

I think the internet has got all sorts of awful people coming out of the woodwork & validating each other & the people who view pornography & child abuse online seem to want more & more so I do think children are more at risk than pre-internet days.

Also there are a lot more cars, busier roads not enough zebra/pelican crossings.

My dd is 10 (11 in Jan) & doesn't go anywhere on her own. I know some people find it strange or that I'm wrapping her cotton wool but she's small, size of an 8 - 9 yr old & would be an easy target to assult & small enough not to notice crossing the road etc.

I'm happy to take her to & from school & will do for as long as I see fit.

They're only young for a short time so I can't see what the rush to make them grow up is.

bellinisurge · 14/10/2019 12:31

I was a kid in the 70s. Fewer cars. Fewer gadgets in your person. Less knife and gun crime.
Of course it's more dangerous.
The racial abuse a person could be subjected to on the street is getting to be like the "good old days".

CravingCheese · 14/10/2019 12:39

It obviously depends on where you live. And on your child.

But I feel like there's also a massive difference between walking to a friend's house (or school etc) and playing outside...

There also seems to be less social cohesion nowadays, tbh...

ChilledBee · 14/10/2019 12:39

There was always serious youth violence in London. It's just now we hear about it. Hubby is nearly 40 and has known of 7 people of his generation (2 cousins,5 friends/acquaintances) who were shot or stabbed to death in London and it didnt make the papers during the 80s-2000.

I think it was more dangerous in terms of stranger danger/child murders than now. Technology such as CCTV means it is very hard to abduct a child now whereas it used to happen with some frequency when I was young. I was around in that Wolf Pack thing. Barry Lewis. Jason Swift. Those kids.

WTFdidwedo · 14/10/2019 12:47

I think location has a lot to do with it as "rival postcodes" is certainly not an issue here in Wales as far as I'm aware..

Traffic is far more of a problem than it used to be, and also cars don't expect to see children playing on streets anymore so probably don't drive as safely around residential streets as they once did.

Mintjulia · 14/10/2019 12:54

I disagree about cars. There are a lot more uninsured cars driven by irresponsible people. Higher speeds, faster acceleration. Lots more people driving without a licence, who have never passed a test, far higher prevalence of drug-drivers.
Plus stress levels are higher, & road rage more common.
Perhaps fewer drunk drivers though.

formerbabe · 14/10/2019 12:55

I don't think there's more paedophiles offering sweets to kids from passing cars...I think that threat has probably remained at the same level.

There's definitely more knife crime and danger from traffic though.

milliefiori · 14/10/2019 12:58

There are way, way more cars on the roads these days than when I was young. And there are far fewer children playing out to join in and paly with.So I do think it's less safe. But if more children played out, it would be fine. My DC played out in our street as there's a small park at the end of it where they used to congregate to ride their bikes or scooters, and they didn't have to cross any roads to reach it. They didn't do it that often, but they were allowed to.

IfIShouldFallFromGraceWithGod · 14/10/2019 13:03

I disagree. The roads are busier, cars are faster, there are more people so even if the % of wrongdoers remains the same there are more of them
It's easier for criminals to move around and not be spotted because there is more movement of people
Children are more at risk from each other because of the influence of online games, porn and others they would not have come across. And more at risk from themselves with groups encouraging self harm

Billballbaggins · 14/10/2019 13:04

So many more cars on the road and so many more people. More cars = higher chance of being hit by a car or in a car accident. More people = more chance of bumping into a nutter/criminal etc. Knife crime is at a high level especially amongst young people. Youngsters also tend to have expensive phones etc so more likely to be a target of muggers than the previous generation. So I believe that overall for most people (not just children) it is less safe today than it was 10/20 years ago

Evilmorty · 14/10/2019 13:05

Depends, 14 year olds get stabbed here regularly and there are gangs county lines to worry about. It’s the other kids you have to watch nowadays, recruiting.