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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Charging for petrol

50 replies

Louisesp82 · 13/10/2019 17:40

Now and again I drop immediate family members to the airport. If it's the nearest one I dont bother, though when Im going out of my way to make a 200 mile round trip I am reimbursed the petrol costs. I thought this made sense, and i would do the same if getting a lift so far away. I mentioned this to someone today, who told me in no uncertain terms that this is definately the wrong thing to do 😶 Fully prepared to be told that I am being (or have been!) unreasonable, genuinely thought it was normal..

OP posts:
CormacMcLaggen · 13/10/2019 17:45

Third cousins twice removed who I've only heard from to request a lift as a favour, yes I'd ask for petrol money.

Immediate family, no I wouldn't - but depends how hard up for money you are? And a 200 mile round trip (!) you're not being unreasonable to want reimbursement for.

Pipandmum · 13/10/2019 17:50

I wouldn’t be making a trip like that in the first place unless it was an elderly relative who couldn’t cope with trains etc. But no I wouldn’t ask or expect money but then my family help each other out with a variety of things so no one feels taken advantage of. But if you are the ‘go to’ person for lifts then yes it’s not unreasonable to expect a contribution.

ChoccieEClaire · 13/10/2019 17:50

I would always expect people to offer cover your petrol costs, you are giving your time for free.

happytoday73 · 13/10/2019 17:50

It's fine... You are giving your time for free..

MereDintofPandiculation · 13/10/2019 17:52

If I were getting a lift to the airport, I'd make sure I fully covered petrol costs plus a bit more to say "thank you for your time".

Original poster
Louisesp82 · 13/10/2019 17:53

Thanks, I'm not really hard up, which makes me think I shouldn't expect paymebt in future..the way I looked at it was that I'm giving my time up which I don't mind, and would never accept more than what the journey cost me. It is very immediate family though, so do feel a bit bad now!

OP posts:
MIdgebabe · 13/10/2019 17:56

But if the family is happy and you are happy why does it matter if other families do things differently?

Purpleartichoke · 13/10/2019 18:01

200 mile round trip??? They need to arrange and pay for transportation as part of their trip. That isn’t a ride to the airport scenario.

Finfintytint · 13/10/2019 18:05

Immediate family. No I wouldn’t be charging. I’d probably have the favour returned in other ways later on. My family is nice and accommodating without taking the piss though.

butterybiscuitbasic · 13/10/2019 18:09

I’ve voted yanbu but ... I’ve never paid or taken money in these situations. Our closest airports here are about a 100 mile round trip. That said it’s only ever been lifts given to or taken from fairly close family and I think it’s give and take.

Longdistance · 13/10/2019 18:15

I live near an airport. Myself and dh give lots of our family and friends a lift. They just pay any airport charges if need be. When we need a lift we drive down in dh’s company car, leave money for any charges and they drive back. All swings and roundabouts.
Yes, they should pay petrol if it’s 200miles Shock

adaline · 13/10/2019 18:18

It depends on the family member really. Parents/In-laws I wouldn't ask for money, but if it was a distant relative that I rarely saw then I might do.

Elieza · 13/10/2019 18:20

£30 petrol is probably great for them considering how much it would cost if they got a taxi 200miles!
And you don’t charge them for your time, you give it freely. They should be grateful. If not they can always say no thanks for the offer to take us but we’re getting the bus this time.

transformandriseup · 14/10/2019 06:57

I live in Cornwall so a fair distance from most major airports and would not expect any family member to drive me to one, especially for no reimbursement. For that distance I would probably take a train and factor the cost in when booking a holiday. I think it's fair enough to charge £30.

Guavaf1sh · 14/10/2019 07:01

Totally agree. It would be incredible selfish to expect a family member to drive you so far out of their way for no reimbursement whatsoever

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 14/10/2019 07:24

If they do favours in return them no I wouldn’t expect payment.

Nice if they offer but not sure if I’d take it. Makes it seem more like a business transaction than helping family out to me.

Mephisto · 14/10/2019 07:33

The person you spoke to probably expects free drop off / pick ups.

You have an arrangement that works. Don't mess it up as you may grow to resent the favours.

BadLad · 14/10/2019 07:35

My family would probably offer, but the driver would refuse to accept it. Not all families are like that, so I won't go so far as to say you are being unreasonable.

fedup21 · 14/10/2019 07:37

If the people taking you are happy to pay and you are happy to do it for payment, I don’t see what on earth it’s got to do with this interfering friend!

Idontwanttotalk · 14/10/2019 07:37

YANBU.
I wouldn't normally expect immediate family to pay for a lift to any airport. However, I know my family would automatically pay for fuel for a 200 mile round trip, as would I if I received such a lift. Nothing wrong with that.

Just because you can afford to give them a lift without them paying for fuel doesn't mean you always should. That's how people end up being CFs.

SneakyBeakyLike · 14/10/2019 07:46

Our local airport is half an hour away so wouldn't expect payment to take anyone there, but any further I would. YADNBU!

bellinisurge · 14/10/2019 07:49

Utterly reasonable to charge for petrol. I have a relative that is literally 5 mins from a major international airport. They regularly offer an overnight bed and transport to family. No one in the family would dream of not reimbursing them in kind. Pay for food, topping up petrol tank, that kind of thing.

dottiedodah · 14/10/2019 07:50

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all ! We live about 80 miles from Gatwick Airport and the taxi there/back is £300 for a round trip!

Beveren · 14/10/2019 07:57

Why do you do £200 mile round trips? For that length of journey it would never occur to me to ask someone for a lift, I would get public transport or go by cab.

Skyejuly · 14/10/2019 07:58

My dh takes his brother 200 round trip and he always gives us 200 x