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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Charging for petrol

50 replies

Louisesp82 · 13/10/2019 17:40

Now and again I drop immediate family members to the airport. If it's the nearest one I dont bother, though when Im going out of my way to make a 200 mile round trip I am reimbursed the petrol costs. I thought this made sense, and i would do the same if getting a lift so far away. I mentioned this to someone today, who told me in no uncertain terms that this is definately the wrong thing to do 😶 Fully prepared to be told that I am being (or have been!) unreasonable, genuinely thought it was normal..

OP posts:

YoTheGinPussyOfStMawesOnThigh · 14/10/2019 08:02

Got stung on a drop off and pick up the day we parked and picked up a friend of mine. She faffed around so much at the airport we spent nearly £30 on carparking. Did she offer to pay, like hell she did. Never picked her up again since.

JenniferM1989 · 14/10/2019 08:07

Hard up or not, a 200 mile round trip needs fuel money given. I have a road tax exempt car, meaning it's ultra fuel efficient but even on a 200 mile round trip, I would use about £35 of fuel. I would fully expect whoever is getting dropped off to pay that £35. Like you say OP, the local airport that is only maybe a 20 mile round trip, no but a trip that would cost most people £35-£60 or whatever, yes

cochineal7 · 14/10/2019 08:08

It depends - my immediate family and close friends I would not ask for money nor expect to pay. What comes around etc. Other friends - for long trips I would certainly offer petrol. However, this is all on the assumption these are not regular occurrences. If I would bring (or ask to be brought) anyone on a 200m trip on a regular basis, I think asking for petrol costs would be fine.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/10/2019 08:16

It would be the time as much as the cost that would annoy me, especially for a 200 mile round trip - I'd never expect anyone to give up their time to take me to the airport, and presumably collect me again, unless they also did lots of favours for me, so it felt fair to do this for them.

Why don't they drive themselves? Or go on public transport? Unless they have a disability that means they can't get there themselves, it would never occur to me that people needed taking to distant airports. YANBU to take petrol money if you do take them though, rounded up to cover wear and tear and parking fees, because I think it's pretty much impossible to drop anyone off for free at most airports these days.

longearedbat · 14/10/2019 08:23

I would never dream of asking for a 200 mile round trip as a favour and I think it's a real cheek. Usually, people asking for these types of favours are just trying to save themselves money, either on public transport or airport parking, but they are quite happy to use someone else's vehicle and time for free. If you can't afford to get to a distant airport, don't book your flights from it.

RuggerHug · 14/10/2019 09:05

Usual rule in my family was: did they ask you what you wanted from duty free on the way back 🤣. Did they ever offer money or did you have to ask?

Original poster

Louisesp82 · 14/10/2019 09:45

Thanks everyone,I was worried that I have been out of order for doing this..glad it seems I haven't been :) I don't mind giving up my time at all, and easier/cheaper for them than getting public transport :)

OP posts:

Mephisto · 14/10/2019 09:51

Please don't tell us you're doing it for a fiver OP

A pp is charging £200 for 200 miles which seems fair.

Witchinaditch · 14/10/2019 09:53

You charge your immediate family!??? And how is the vote overwhelmingly YANBU? Mumsnet is such a strange place. It makes me sad about the world really.

Mephisto · 14/10/2019 09:58

How often do you drop off family to an airport 200 miles away, @Witchinaditch?

Igotthemheavyboobs · 14/10/2019 09:58

A pp is charging £200 for 200 miles which seems fair what? How on earth is that a fair amount? £1 per mile is a lot more than you would even pay in a cab!

Op, yanbu if that is how your family do things, I wouldn't charge my parents but they would and have done similar favours for me. Like a pp its give and take

Mephisto · 14/10/2019 10:00

Well an PP says: I dont think you are being unreasonable at all ! We live about 80 miles from Gatwick Airport and the taxi there/back is £300 for a round trip!

200 miles is a long journey and don't forget OP has to go back and forth twice so it's 400 miles.

Whattodoabout · 14/10/2019 10:29

I would offer fuel money, I wouldn’t have to be asked. If you were a taxi they’d be paying a lot more than petrol costs.

Witchinaditch · 14/10/2019 10:58

@Mephisto quite a lot actually and they do it for me in return also.

ASundayWellSpent · 14/10/2019 11:03

YANBU! I recently did a 90 mile round trip for a family airport drop off and was not impressed that they didn't even offer petrol or a coffee or something!!

Mephisto · 14/10/2019 11:15

@Witchinaditch

quite a lot actually and they do it for me in return also.

That's great, but what if OP doesn't fly much so doesn't need to be dropped to the airport? surely it's fair for her to be recompensed for petrol costs?

BrightYellowDaffodil · 14/10/2019 11:32

Immediate family I wouldn’t charge (although they’d almost certainly insist on paying anyway).

Anyone else - petrol money. I’ve aready given my time and the wear/tear on my car so petrol money would be an absolute must unless I was going that way anyway.

Witchinaditch · 14/10/2019 11:44

@Mephisto because with family you don’t give to receive? It just makes me sad how the majority of MN seem out for themselves and any hint of being slightly put out by anyone is the worst thing in the world. It’s not what I experience in real life.

Original poster

Louisesp82 · 14/10/2019 14:05

I will be paid £30 to cover the petrol (just one round trip this time), plus airport parking

OP posts:

Original poster

Louisesp82 · 14/10/2019 14:07

..if I was going anyway I wouldn't though

OP posts:

amusedbush · 14/10/2019 14:41

Who would even have the brass neck to ask someone to do a 200 mile round trip though?? Fuck me, making sure you can get to the airport is part of booking a trip!

Willow2017 · 14/10/2019 15:06

Not a chance in hell I would take people 200 miles for free. It would cost me about £70 in petrol for my car! It would probably be cheaper for them to take the train!
Tell whoever is banging on about it to mind their own OP. They sound like they would gladly be taken that far without even considering the cost to anyone else.

Witch I have never asked for a lift to an airport. I rarely fly anyway.
And i definitely cannot afford to waste £70 on other people. Not everyone is in the same boat as you so don't be do damm patronising saying how sad it is we don't all go out of our way can't afford to be so damm generous. Being "slightly put out"? Hours and hours of driving, adding miles on the car and £70 down is hardly being "slightly put out' in my book. £70 would be more than my food shop for me and kids for a week! Guess what I prioritise?

There is a difference in being helpful and being a mug if you are asked regularly and never get a favour in return.

Witchinaditch · 14/10/2019 15:13

Really sad attitude- as the OP said it’s family so possibly a parent my dad has often done a 120mile journey to get me and he would be horrified at being called a “mug” for picking up his daughter and he wouldn’t see it as a waste of money. I would do the same for him in a heartbeat, why don’t you take your own advice and realise not everyone is the same as you, I feel extremely lucky that I am surrounded by generous people with their time and money. It seems I am in the minority and yes I do fine that sad.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/10/2019 15:40

I don't think anyone's saying that people are mugs for helping family out, more that it's reasonable to ask for a contribution towards the cost and you shouldn't be made to feel tight if you ask for petrol money, whether you need the money, as in you'll have to cut down elsewhere, or you would simply like to be reimbursed.

If someone does the quite big favour of a 200 mile airport run, they should always be offered petrol money without needing to be prompted.

It's expecting people to do one sided favours without offering petrol money or reciprocal favours that is taking people for mugs, as you're basically saying 'I don't want to pay to get to the airport, so I'm going to make you pay the cost instead'.

Willow2017 · 14/10/2019 17:22

Well we would all like to.be generous with time and money but we can't all afford to be.

If a friend or relative had an emergency I would help them in a heartbeat but to expect someone to put themselves short of money for a month for your planned holiday then nope I cannot afford it. You factor in getting to the airport in your budget you don't expect someone else to bear the cost or waste a day driving you there.
Its not selfish it's simply economics.
Why the hell should I go without so someone else can trot off on a jolly holiday? If they can afford to fly abroad they can afford to get to the airport.

Expecting people to be at your beck and call to facilitate your holiday is the selfish act not the other way around.

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