To say no to christmas presents?

[Babysharkdododododododododod]

So we are in the process of buying a house, which is expensive! We have two young children and between us we have 8 nieces and nephews, plus two close friends children we normally buy for. Five close family birthdays in December too.

Things are really tight for us, so I was thinking of speak to our family and explaining that we won’t be able to buy Christmas presents this year for the kids and we would ask that they don’t buy for our kids. Does this sound cheeky?

Just downscale the presents. People always buy too much anyway.

Oh don't do this! In the grand scheme of house buying, £100 isn’t going to bankrupt you. Don’t spoil this for the small people for whom Christmas is still magic. Make a budget and shop carefully. Vouchers are good, most kids love shopping for their own treat.

Can't you just bit something small, so they have something to open? Explain to your family that you can only stretch to £X per present this year. Even something like a cushion of a character they like would be a nice gift for a child and will get used more than some plastic tat. If they don't buy for your children just because you're having financial hardship this year then they're pretty awful people. I don't believe in giving to receive.

We have 11 kids on my side of the family. We now do a secret santa. Every kid gets one decent present (£25 max spend). We have 3 dcs so we buy 3 kids presents. My brother has 4 dcs so he buys 4 presents. Everyone is very happy with this system. Less tat and less stress for adults. Kids perfectly happy too.

I always feel the same at this time of year. I can't afford the November birthdays and Christmas. This year I have told everyone I am cutting back and it is agreed that I won't exchange presents with some of the adults I usually give to. I feel a huge sense of relief that I have less to buy this year.

The whole Christmas thing is way out of hand. Back in the day (in talking my mums era), certainly where I live, people had little so the few gifts they got were appreciated.

Now, most people get and give much more, and kids already have more so its not so needed or appreciated. And it's just more stuff to clutter the house and uses up valuable resources that could be put to better use.

I'm not a bah humbug, I love most aspects of Christmas, the food, family getting together, the lights etc.

But gift giving is a tradition that needs a radical overhaul imo.

YANBU. Don't spend what you haven't got. (I can't actually see the 'magic' in receiving a voucher).

I'm in the same boat re house buying etc. We have decided to cut out all adult presents (bar 2 that really help us out in general so they more than deserve a small gift at Christmas) but continue to buy the children something small that they can open.

Depending on the age of the children you can get all sorts of books/toys/sweets for not very much money at all.

DH and I stopped celebrating Christmas altogether and it’s been amazing! We don’t buy for anyone and they don’t buy for us. Too stressful and too much faff!!

We go on holiday every Christmas now instead. Hawaii this year! 🏝

Could you afford say £5 per gift? Or maybe make something if you’re arty? Write voucher for a special day out - day at the park/beach/doing crafts with Aunty Babyshark? I’d feel mean not getting anything at all.

I’d say you’re having to cut back this year so they don’t end up spending loads on your kids!

I'd suggest a secret Santa!😁

What a sensible idea. If the magic of Christmas depends on getting an obscene amount of presents it’s lost its way.

We did this last year after a downturn in earnings. It was such a relief. Less tat to buy and less tat to receive. However family have started to talk about presents again and seem to have forgotten the no presents rule.

Its annoying as the adults exchange wine and chocolates. I'd rather save the money to spend on treats for the whole family.

I would suggest a spending cap or secret Santa, may go down better. To be honest I’d love it if people stopped buying stuff for my daughter. For the most part, it only ends up in landfill after a year where she touches it maybe once.

Why does “magic” have to be about consumption?

Yanbu. Don't spend what you haven't got.

Already been said, but it's absolutely right.

There are too many little presents from relatives now anyway. Do kids really appreciate or value them? It's so corny to say, but they do value your time spent with them more. They'll remember playing with their cousins much more fondly than spending a voucher.

We scaled back last year for the children and it worked out really well. Our usual budget was around £40-50 per child which was affordable when there were only one or two children in the family, but last year the number of children doubled. So what with the expense plus the ridiculous amount of presents the children were getting each Christmas we decided to scale back and agreed that we would all spend £15-20 per child. It meant that everyone thought much more carefully about what to buy the children and we ended up with some fantastic presents rather than piles of tat. You could scale back as well and maybe spend £5 per child. You can get some lovely little Galt crafty/science sets for around £5.

We are doing that this year! We can not afford to buy for everyone and honestly I don't care if anyone has an issue with it.

Just send a text "things are a bit tight this year, so just letting everyone know early that Father Christmas won't be able to drop as many presents off for us to give out."

End of. The level of gift giving these days at Christmas is nauseating. The amount of shit and plastic needlessly bought is pretty vile.

Their parents will also be buying for them.

You don't have to spend money you don't have. Just buy them a family present they can share eg a board game.

How about a top budget and buying for kids only.

Or buy some charity shop toys. I do like the secret santa idea.

Why not just small gifts?

Or 'experience gifts' where you take all of them out for a cool day and get to be fun the fun aunt / uncle? Sure, it's going to still cost you some money but it's also an activity that would entertain your children as well... And hopefully lead to nice family memories.

Idk. I feel like gifts are nice for children. And I personally simply adore Christmas... But maybe I'm the unreasonable one. But I have a hard time believing that... Idk, 10 - 15 € gifts a child would actually matter when one considers the amount of money involved in house buying.

Can’t you just buy something cheaper for the kids ?

Will you have money later in the year? You could organise a trip/experience day to something fun when it's better weather?

I’m hosting Christmas for 11 people this year. The food alone is going to cost a fortune .... wine!!!!

I planning on telling people I’m not doing presents this year. My sons bday is on Christmas Eve as well and he is 16 this year. So I just can’t manage it all. If people have a problem with it then that is up to them.