To say no to christmas presents?

[Babysharkdododododododododod]

So we are in the process of buying a house, which is expensive! We have two young children and between us we have 8 nieces and nephews, plus two close friends children we normally buy for. Five close family birthdays in December too.

Things are really tight for us, so I was thinking of speak to our family and explaining that we won’t be able to buy Christmas presents this year for the kids and we would ask that they don’t buy for our kids. Does this sound cheeky?

@Boristhecats

I think not doing presents is perfectly fine when it comes to adults or older teens. Especially in your situation...

Doing alcohol free would be an option as well. I'm thinking about doing that tbh. I can't drink anyway, there's always those that can't drive due to being designated driver.....
not sure what we'll do for food tbh.

I'm tempted to do something that's more buffet style but Idk.

I’d definitely suggest no adult presents or a secret Santa. But I think it would be a shame to stop buying for the children and I also have a hard time believing that unless you’ve historically gone really OTT, that it makes any significant difference to buying a house. One of my favourite gifts was always the Cadbury’s selection box my Aunt got me every year (with hindsight she was clearly on a limited budget but as a kid I didn’t notice or care)! Can you not do something like that?

@Cravingcheese. Ours are all teens now. So no small ones to worry about. But if there were small children I would always buy them a little something to open when they got here.

My husband loves cooking Xmas dinner and loves wine. So we will have that. I just can’t see a way to do it all. I’m sure people will be fine with it.

Well done you.
Hopefully all your friends and family will want to keep this arrangement going forever.
Don't waste ANY money buying small tat.
Tat is tat, be it big or small.
It makes me despair when I hear of people spending money they can't afford ,(or worse, getting in to debt) buying stuff for folk that they probably neither need or want.
Tell them that the combination of house purchase and climate change issues have led to your decision.
Nothing cheeky about it OP.
Stick to your guns.

@Boristhecats
oh, absolutely. I guess I simply assumed the OP was talking about smaller children...
in which case I personally would simply find it sad.

A nice book, fun Christmas socks etc aren't expensive and perfectly lovely gifts imo.
or an experience day (like going to the cinema, the zoo etc). And whilst these things are obviously not free? The money is basically nothing when one compares it to buying a house.

I love wine as well tbh... But I guess I'll be the one wanting to drink it. 😅

It's also super duper close to my due date so there's that....

@Cravingcheese I would much rather do pizza and sit in front of the tv for dinner as I never get to just sit down and veg. But the whole idea horrifies my husband 😂. Pjs and fluffy socks and box sets. My idea of heaven

YANBU but it may cause a family fallout. A price limit for everyone with just token presents may be wiser.

Haven’t bought Xmas presents for anyone but DD for years. Needless consumerfest. we have 7 nieces and nephews that aren’t bothered in the slightest.

I hate 'token' presents. They are wasteful tat that no one needs , wants or appreciates.

We stopped present buying for siblings (grown ups) last year. It was a massive relief.

I ask people not to get my kids gifts cos they get so much and as others said it ends up in landfill having never been played with.

For aunts and uncles who insist I suggest instead a cinema date which my kids actually love and doesn't result in plastic in landfills.

You are right OP.

hate 'token' presents. They are wasteful tat that no one needs , wants or appreciates.

Sure. But small presents don't have to fall under this category. My mother's favourite face oil, my little brother's (15 years younger than I am) favourite cereal (which our parents refused to buy regularly) etc were the 'small' gifts I gave when I was a student (and money was tight).

Those things were used and appreciated afaik.

YANBU. It’s a good opportunity to stop the gift exchange.

YANBU. Not just from a cost point of view but also because kids end up with presents from loads of different family members, in addition to their 'santa' presents, and it all gets crazy. Secret Santa is the way to go once the number of children in the family gets too much. The kids still get spoiled with one slightly larger present, rather than lots of small-ish presents, and it relieves the cost/organisation burden for the adults in the family.

We also ditched presents for our siblings years ago and all go out for a posh dinner instead, have a great night out and spend half the money we would on presents. Everyone wins

Fine to cut adult gifts, but I’d still give something small for the kids. One year I was particularly short and I gave the kids in my family a tin of Heroes / Celebrations and they were overjoyed to have “a whole tin!” for themselves! I had felt awful giving such a small gift but they were so happy.

“Merry Christmas! Have some early onset diabetes!!!!”