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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I make him wear a bike helmet?

192 replies

springlike · 13/10/2019 09:24

My DS is almost 12. He has just joined Y7, likes to meet up with friends and often this means going out on bikes. He took his cycling proficiency earlier in the year. None of his friends seem to wear helmets and I have, so far, insisted he should. He doesn't want to though as this makes him different to his friends. Should I insist he wears one, advise him he should but let him decide or not let him out on his bike if he doesn't?

OP posts:
HugoSpritz · 14/10/2019 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vulpine · 14/10/2019 08:25

Skittles - 'im actually shocked' at how few people look after their health. Yet i would never tell them that. Its none of my business. Its no-one elses business what i put on my head.

TabbyMumz · 14/10/2019 08:25

"Take your DS to a brain injury unit.".

.as much as I understand the reasoning for this, as I have a child myself who didn't want to wear a helmet, I dont think they let random people into brain injury units with their children. Think you'd have to have a relative in there to be let in. A relative of mine was in one....I think I'd be appalled if people came in with their children staring at him and saying "see, if you dont wear a helmet, you'll end up like that" sort of thing. But then I'm very protective of his dignity.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 14/10/2019 08:32

I’m sure there will be people with videos on YouTube who describe accidents when they didn’t have a helmet.

moccaicecream · 14/10/2019 08:33

"Take your DS to a brain injury unit."

I used to work with a charity for people with acquired traumatic brain injuries. We had very few cyclist attending (and a significant number of those who came wore a helmet).

The majority of this with acquired brain injuries were involved in car crashes. Many of these injuries probably would have been prevented if they would have worn s helmet whilst being in a car....

not sure why there is always such a focus on cyclists.

if you look to the Netherlands or so, hardly anyone wears a helmet.

we should make cycling safer by improving cycle facilities/networks. Cycling is something where safety comes on numbers. The more people cycle, the safer it gets.

but it is in itself not a riskier activity than many others.

and cycling comes with loads of health benefits. Inactivity can be a far bigger killer than hitting the road on 2 wheels.

myolivetree · 14/10/2019 08:38

" Not sure why there is such a focus on cyclists "

Really?

Do you look at all the people who do wear cycle helmets and wonder just why they are wearing helmets?

Canyousewcushions · 14/10/2019 08:39

This place is crazy.... people ask about car seats and get vilified for not keeping their children rear facing till they are 15, a discussion on cycle helmets and it's fine not the wear one because their friends don't.

No helmet, no wheels in this house (bikes, scooters, skaterboards). Would rather do everything I can to protect their brains than let them out and about with an increased risk of life changing injury.

andyoldlabour · 14/10/2019 08:53

I started cycling in 1978 and wearing a helmet wasn't common then. One year later I started to race, and from then on always wore a helmet for all types of cycling. I have lost friends who didn't wear helmets and paid the ultimate price.

TabbyMumz · 14/10/2019 08:54

"I used to work with a charity for people with acquired traumatic brain injuries. We had very few cyclist attending (and a significant number of those who came wore a helmet)."
Aren't acquired brain injuries from strokes etc... it would be traumatic brain injuries that are from accidents, such as cycling....perhaps if your unit was for just acquired injuries, that's why there was noone there with cycling injuries?

moccaicecream · 14/10/2019 09:03

sorry Tabby, should have said acquired and traumatic (hence the car accident brain injuries). I am not a medical person so not quiet fluent in this lingo. It covered both.

myolivetree · 14/10/2019 09:04

*we should make cycling safer by improving cycle facilities/networks. Cycling is something where safety comes on numbers. The more people cycle, the safer it gets.

but it is in itself not a riskier activity than many others.

and cycling comes with loads of health benefits. Inactivity can be a far bigger killer than hitting the road on 2 wheels.*

Yeah. Yeah. Ok.

Back here on planet actual real life, before cycling is made safer, should OP get her son to wear a cycling helmet.

Course she should.

TabbyMumz · 14/10/2019 09:32

@moccaicecream....I was confused when you said you weren't a medical person but now see it was a charity you worked for, I had thought it was a brain injury unit or something, my mistake. I now understand why you didn't see many injuries from cyclists. ..if you went to a brain injury unit, you would see loads. That's if they were lucky enough to survive in the first place.

Frazzled2207 · 14/10/2019 10:08

My own husband has been knocked off his bike and told that his helmet almost certainly prevented a serious head injury.

No helmet no going out on the bike unfortunately though admittedly my sons are younger and haven't questioned it yet.

Not really comparable with Netherlands where people really look out for cyclists and the culture is so much safer- though I think they should be used everywhere.

Notthemessiah · 14/10/2019 13:01

@flowery - I can see you prefer to counter-argue against the points you imagine people are making, rather than the ones they actually are so I'll leave you to it.

Bunnylady53 · 14/10/2019 13:09

Someone I know lost his brother because he fell off his bike over the handlebars & hit his head ( he wasn’t wearing a helmet). Just not worth the risk. He left a young widow & 2 children 😢

Toddlerteaplease · 14/10/2019 13:19

Yes we he should wear one. I looked after a child with a severe head injury that could have been prevented by wearing a helmet. He was lucky to survive.

flowery · 14/10/2019 13:24

”flowery - I can see you prefer to counter-argue against the points you imagine people are making, rather than the ones they actually are so I'll leave you to it.”

Just quoting you, that’s all. I’m fairly certain my imagination wasn’t involved, but if that wasn’t the point you were making feel free to correct me as to what you meant!

NearlyGranny · 14/10/2019 13:26

The countries where people don't wear bike helmets so much tend to have networks of cycle paths where cars and bikes never meet. All the same, you can be killed or injured coming off your bike without a car being involved.

PPs digressing about helmets in cars to reduce head injuries are setting up a false dichotomy. "My child has a brain injury because I wouldn't make him wear a helmet until car passengers wore them too," said no parent, ever.

Vulpine · 14/10/2019 13:53

A friend of mine was killed on her bike wearing a helmet. She was dragged under a lorry. As in so many cyclist deaths, a helmet wouldn't have saved her. Whether you agree with them or not is one thing, but I simply fail to understand why non cyclists get so angry seeing helmetless cyclists. What does it have to do with you? Live and let live - or die. To echo a pp, why do cyclists get all the flack?

myolivetree · 14/10/2019 13:57

Yes totally agree @NearlyGranny

And if by horrible chance ( and god forbid it does happen ) someone's head is about to hit the deck, before they land onto their helmet free skull

Just ROAR at them

" but have you seen the stats from Australia!"

Or maybe even

" they don't wear helmets in the Netherlands "

Keepithidden · 14/10/2019 17:00

So many anecdotes of people being killed and ending up in critical care/brain injury units due to cycling. You'd think there would be a national professional outcry calling for compulsory helmet use.

Unless the truth of the matter is that cycling isn't dangerous and PPE isn't necessary. Personally I think the perceived risk is far greater than the actual risk. But then that is a reflection of the society we live in I guess.

SoreThroatToday · 14/10/2019 17:17

He absolutely must wear it. I was involved in a bike accident recently and sustained quite a few injuries and broken bones. If I'd not been wearing my helmet, I would not be typing this now.

I never wore a helmet as a teen. My mum didn't care. In fact she never even suggested it. My best mates parents insisted she wore a helmet. Yes, she found it embarrassing, but she wore it. I loved her mum and Dad. They were very caring and I was old enough to realise that. I secretly wished my mum was like them. Make him wear it. His mates are old enough to realise it's because his parents care about him that he has to wear it. That's not a bad thing

SoreThroatToday · 14/10/2019 17:17

If they r real mates, they won't rib him for it...

Aragog · 14/10/2019 17:37

Keepithidden

Are you suggesting people are lying with their anecdotes?

Well I most certainly am not when I posted previously. This occurred in 1997/8, in Derbyshire, to a 12y boy. It was reported through the local media at the time. He died following an accident on his bike where he hit his head on the road after colliding with a car. He was not wearing a helmet.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 14/10/2019 17:37

‘Haha stupid helmet!’
‘Better than having my brain splattered across the road’