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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I make him wear a bike helmet?

192 replies

springlike · 13/10/2019 09:24

My DS is almost 12. He has just joined Y7, likes to meet up with friends and often this means going out on bikes. He took his cycling proficiency earlier in the year. None of his friends seem to wear helmets and I have, so far, insisted he should. He doesn't want to though as this makes him different to his friends. Should I insist he wears one, advise him he should but let him decide or not let him out on his bike if he doesn't?

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 13/10/2019 19:21

Yes.

My son came off his small bike aged six onto grass. Hospital said he would have been in a much worse state without it.

Have you not heard about the lad seriously injuries who didn't want to mess up his hair so didn't wear a helmet. Seriously injured. Last I heard still very badly suffering.

Not forcing your child to wear a helmet to stop him being bullied and looking different to his mates ? Utter bollocks. How embarrassing that you are letting a child tell you how to parent.

Helmet or no wheels in my house.

TabbyMumz · 13/10/2019 19:24

Vulpine, I'd rather mine were out on bikes than sat on fortnite, but when they are out on bikes I will do my utmost to make sure they are protected. We already have a brain injury in the family, so dont want another. I used to think chances were low and it would never happen to us...but it did.

Vulpine · 13/10/2019 19:32

Indeed, bad stuff could and does happen but. I am well aware of that. But I personally do not think its my job to lecture others on how to live. I don't tell smokers off for smoking or indeed anyone who makes dubious life choices that we don't all agree with - they would tell me to fuck off.

thewayoftheplatypus · 13/10/2019 19:36

www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/transport/10257278/Seriously-injured-cyclist-16-did-not-wear-helmet-because-he-did-not-want-to-mess-up-his-hair.html

I live in the same village as this family. Their lives have changed forever- I definitely wouldn’t let my sons go without a helmet

icecreamsundae32 · 13/10/2019 19:41

Yes he should wear a helmet. I hate seeing cyclists of any age without a helmet. Getting messed up hair or thinking it's uncool or that cars will drive more carefully if you aren't wearing one are ridiculous excuses!

My husband is a cyclist often does charity rides of over 100 miles, always wears a helmet. He got knocked off his bike by a white van driver he was knocked unconscious briefly and broke his arm. His helmet had a big crack down it and the ambulance said if he hadn't been wearing it that would have been his skull and he would not have walked away from the crash with only a mild concussion and broken arm.... it's not worth the risk. My kids saw how it the helmet saved their dad and they know the risks so if they go on their bike they wear a helmet.

Original poster
springlike · 13/10/2019 19:53

Not forcing your child to wear a helmet to stop him being bullied and looking different to his mates ? Utter bollocks. How embarrassing that you are letting a child tell you how to parent

I have asked for opinions. So far, I have told him I expect him to wear it. At no point have I let my child tell me how to parent Shock
I am asking the AIBU to see how others feel about it and deal with it. Thanks for your thoughts as to how I'm dealing with it though Hmm

OP posts:
Divebar · 13/10/2019 20:43

My colleague worked as a traffic collision investigator. He attended a fatal accident where both parties were on bikes... no car involved at all. Essentially the guy with the helmet survived and the one without died. I obviously can’t say that the outcome would be different had he been wearing a helmet but you can be sure my colleague made his own son wear a helmet on his bike. You obviously have no control over what kids do when they leave the house but I’d let them pick the coolest / least offensive helmet ( I like Bern) so you are at least giving it your best shot.

eeyore228 · 13/10/2019 20:57

My friend was knocked off his bike and dragged under a bus. He was in ITU for weeks and his helmet was smashed to smithereens. His dad told me that the doctors said it was his helmet that saved him from serious head injuries. Problem these days is that these lads do some stupid stuff because they are ‘big boys’, I’ve seen wheelies on a roundabout with two on the bike. Nearly caused a crash. He should have one. Cycling proficiency doesn’t stop others from making mistakes.

shoebedobedobedobedoo · 13/10/2019 21:20

HRTWT. If he doesn’t wear a bike helmet then at least make sure he carries an organ donor card. The wing mirrors of white vans turn brains to mush, but the rest of your organs are perfect. I say that as an A&E dr.

flowery · 13/10/2019 22:52

” if we are going to make bicycle helmets compulsory to guard against head injuries then the fact is we should make helmets in cars compulsory too“

Confused

Didn’t realise we were going to make them compulsory?

I just think it’s bonkers not to wear one when there is so much evidence, anecdotal and otherwise, showing that if you come off, you are less likely to receive serious injury. And I think the argument that because we don’t wear them in cars we therefore shouldn’t wear them on bikes is bonkers too, as I said.

NearlyGranny · 13/10/2019 23:01

DD at 12 came off over the handlebars racing her DS and impacted the road head first, losing consciousness. Her helmet split in two internally but the shell held. She spent the night in hospital under obs for concussion.

Triage nurse's comment was that without the helmet she would certainly have been a fatality.

We sent the helmet in to be shown at school assembly.

Bother whether he looks like the others. If you value his life, make him wear a properly fitted helmet, i.e. not perched on the back of his head.

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 13/10/2019 23:40

I live in Australia where it is compulsory and there certainly are plenty of people who call for the rule to be changed. However for me it's non-negotiable, just as I would never ride my horse without a helmet or get in a car without a seatbelt.

Cars are not the only reason people fall off bikes. I know someone who was riding a bike along a path he used daily, no cars, no animals around. Somehow he slipped on the gravel and fell, hitting his head on the edge of a rock. He was in hospital for 6 months, had to re-learn how to talk and walk, and will live with the consequences for the rest of his life (as will his family). Sure the risk of that happening might be quite small, but given the potential consequences, I don't understand why anyone wouldn't do what they can to minimise the risk.

GetUpAgain · 13/10/2019 23:47

My DS won't wear a helmet, he doesn't think he needs to. Being a know it all teenHmm

So I don't let him go out on his bike. It's a shame but teens have to be protected from their own stupidity with things like this.

myolivetree · 14/10/2019 00:14

Same here @Getupagain Stopped one of mine going out on his bike recently when he wouldn't wear a helmet.

I don't/can't/won't know all the stats. But common bloody sense tells me that if you take a bash to the head it's probably going to be a better outcome if you have a helmet on.
That's good enough for me.

myolivetree · 14/10/2019 00:34

Also that by putting on helmets riders automatically start 'risk taking' to the extent that they shouldn't bother with the head protection in the first place is nonsensical.

Its the kind of unhelpful stat that gets bandied about but doesn't really translate to daily life. My kids cycle down the road in the same way whether or not they're wearing helmets. I don't think it affects their actual cycling.

Drabarni · 14/10/2019 00:55

They might not fall off their bikes and be brain damaged, your son might.
I showed mine a clip of a boy it happened to, I'm sure it was off here.
There was a poster who worked with brain damage from accidents.
They still wear their helmets as grown ups.

Drabarni · 14/10/2019 01:01

You need to give them a short sharp shock, something to think about. Show them a film, find out the stats. Even forcing them to wear it when they go out won't be very helpful if they hide it somewhere and pretend to have worn it.

hopefulhalf · 14/10/2019 05:52

What would really cut down fatal RTA is banning mobile phone use whilst walking and all secondary school children wearing hi-vis.

Whose with me ?

MsJaneAusten · 14/10/2019 07:13

Do you have statistics showing that kids on their way to school are the most frequent victims of RTCs hopefulhalf? Otherwise, I don’t think your plan will work.

CoalTit · 14/10/2019 07:16

I can't believe someone is on here boasting about teaching their young child to yell at cyclists in the street. That's so depressing.

stucknoue · 14/10/2019 07:34

Of course! No helmet no going out. They may not offer 100% protection but they offer some, saved my brother from near certain brain damage (split in half when he was knocked off) the police asked to keep the helmet to show local kids why they should wear helmets.

stucknoue · 14/10/2019 07:36

Ps none of the kids around here have lights, reflective jackets or common sense around here either, I've nearly knocked several over because I couldn't see them! Just because others have a death wish teach him better

SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 14/10/2019 07:40

Bike helmet saved my mum's life twice in last few years. Family friend's daughter didn't wear hers and ended up with life changing head injury after falling over her bike and hitting a small rock...

My parents didn't care about other kids not wearing helmets. We had to. And I am pretty sure that I would end up with totally different injuries than just few bruises when falling of while riding in forests... Kids took a piss until they saw my first proper fall when I hit a tree with my head. Damn tree roots😁

Vulpine · 14/10/2019 07:54

I don't wear a helmet however i have had several near death experiences as either a car passenger or a pedestrian. And also I think stastically i may be prolonging my life as inactivity is one of the biggest killers in the western hemisphere.

Skittlesandbeer · 14/10/2019 08:06

Take your DS to a brain injury unit. Or your local rehab centre. Once he knows what he’s risking just to ‘fit in’, he might more likely to wear a helmet.

I’m actually shocked at how many posters think it’s unecessary or pointless to wear one. Are you this blasé about seatbelts in cars too? And that’s with a load of other safety features between your head and the asphalt!

The brain is just a yolk in a shell. Don’t scramble yours forever cos it might muss your hairstyle to put on a helmet. Sheeesh.