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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get another cat?

55 replies

frostedviolets · 13/10/2019 08:55

Existing cat is a bit of a bellend.

Nice gentle temperament but quite active and somewhat destructive.

She is an adult cat, about 3 I think so not a kitten and forever running about, pinging the kids toys, jumping on/off stuff, crawling along the bottom of the sofa etc.
Claws the stairs, the bookcase, the bed, the sofa...
I don't really have the time to play with her.

If I was to get another cat, what are the chances of the destructiveness stopping and the two just playing with each other instead?

She is a nice cat but the clawing makes me want to throttle her!

I like the idea of her having a little friend to play with but the thought of two cats scratching up my house makes me feel a bit sick.

She is quite a social cat and friendly with pretty much all the neighbourhood cats.

So, wibu to get another cat (kitten)?

OP posts:
Stuckinanutshell · 13/10/2019 08:59

If you don’t have time to play with your existing cat you shouldn’t get a kitten who will need a lot of love and attention.

Original poster
frostedviolets · 13/10/2019 09:03

Maybe 'time' was the wrong word, more that I don't want to really.

Existing cat gets plenty of love and cuddles, she isn't starved of attention but the kids wear me out and honestly, when they go to bed I just want to chill and relax.

The idea of her having a friend to play with and occupy her time is attractive to me.

But I appreciate it's probably a poor idea and I shouldn't do it

OP posts:
Lowlandlucky · 13/10/2019 09:06

Would you have another child just so your children had an extra playmate ? No, because it would be too much extra work and expense, well that would be the same with another cat

Ladybird11 · 13/10/2019 09:07

Having a kitten is like having a toddler.. they want (need?)attention.. they get lonely (even with big cat there)..
This is charlie who was crying to get in to my room this morning for some hugs.

To get another cat?
madcatladyforever · 13/10/2019 09:09

It's a very bad ideal
All of my cats have destroyed the funit ure and carpets over the years yet they have company, I play with them and they have access to the great outdoors 24/7.
It's what cats do. I have an 18 year old cat who has utterly destroyed the stair carpet and ignores the scratching post. She will go out for an hour and come back in and poo in the litter tray and kick the litter everywhere.
Cats and dogs are hard work. You have to really lover them to deal with the.

PaperFlowers4 · 13/10/2019 09:09

Cats don’t necessarily play together. You’ve got as good a chance of them hating each other and fighting.

Is the cat allowed outdoors? Do you have a scratching post?

slipperywhensparticus · 13/10/2019 09:09

I have three and no wallpaper they are brothers too

Can you not get some electric cat toys?

SimonJT · 13/10/2019 09:11

Cats are solitary creatures and generally prefer being only cats.

Your cat is bored, if you don’t want to giver her the stimulation she needs then she will be destructive.

You have the time but can’t be bothered to meet all the needs of one cat, so you’re not going to meet all the needs of two.

BarbaraofSeville · 13/10/2019 09:12

If you think she will get on with other cats, which it sounds like she will, I'd look to local rescues for an older kitten, say 4 to 12 months - there should be some kittens born earlier this year available as they tend to hang around if they haven't been rehomed at the tiny kitten stage - I foster for a local rescue and have 4 probably suitable kittens in my house right now - not an offer btw, we always have to direct enquiries via the website to be approved anyway.

Most reputable rescues won't rehome a single younger kitten in your circumstances anyway, as they need a playmate of their own age for company, comfort and to aid their development.

So a slightly older kitten will be past the 'baby' stage but still young and playful and hopefully what your existing cat needs - I'd suggest you get a boy, because they're more likely to get on - cats operate on a matriarchal society, so if you get two 'matriarchs' together, it's not going to work, but a younger boy is more likely to stay in line with an older female.

Ponoka7 · 13/10/2019 09:13

Not all cats want to live with other cats.

Introducing a kitten could cause territory toilet marking in your older cat.

It may not alter her behaviour, but escalate it through stress and dominat behaviour.

I have three cats, they tag team their arse hole behaviour.

Original poster
frostedviolets · 13/10/2019 09:14

Oh dear.

Okay, i think I'll veto the idea of a second cat.

Yes she has had scratching posts before, big activity centre type ones. She had two at one point and yes she does go outside.

My dog is an absolute angel, not destructive in the slightest, needs no entertainment.

I never anticipated a cat being more trouble than a dog!

Oh well.

OP posts:
BubblesBuddy · 13/10/2019 09:18

My adult cats didn’t scratch much. However my eldest cat never forgave me for introducing a kitten into the house and it made him quite vicious toward the kitten and then stroppy with us. He was a pedigree cat and just wanted a quiet life with no competition! So, don’t do it. Get a scratching post, lots of toys and play with him. If you cannot manage one cat, you won’t manage two and you cannot use a kitten as a toy for an older cat.

Thurmanmurman · 13/10/2019 09:18

Cats don’t work like that I’m afraid. We have two cats and they tolerate each other but I certainly wouldn’t say they were best buddies. It could work but it could make matters worse as current cat will be most put out initially. Also a kitten will likely be even more playful, scratchy etc. Does your cat go outside?

Original poster
frostedviolets · 13/10/2019 09:19

but a younger boy is more likely to stay in line with an older female

Yes, her absolute best friend (they were inseparable) was a neighbours male cat. Sadly he was hit by a car.
She gets on well with the local tom as well.

But i don't think I can risk it really.
I was in two minds when I posted and others saying they have multiples who are still destructive, oh man, I don't think I could deal with two naughty cats destroying things

OP posts:
blighter · 13/10/2019 09:20

Don't be ridiculous. You shouldn't have a cat at all. Poor cat. Our cat scratches ie buggered carpets plus new rug but she's a cat. We accept it 😁

FloatingObject · 13/10/2019 09:23

I do actually think cats are more work than dogs. I love both. People tend to think dogs need more babying and time but I actually find that cats are more stressful (for me personally). They're more casually destructive and much less easy going/portable when it comes to things like going away, moving house, more worrying re letting them go out, going missing, etc.

Meltedicicle · 13/10/2019 09:37

Our cat is a bottom of the sofa scratcher! We’ve put blankets and throws on which have stopped her. Can you try that?

doxxed · 13/10/2019 09:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Original poster
frostedviolets · 13/10/2019 09:46

I do think she would enjoy another cat, she frequently tries to use the dog as a playmate who does play wrestle back for a short period but it's not long before she has enough and jumps up on the sofa to get away from her, usually while she's still hanging onto her toes or tail...

I'm a bit conflicted really because I do think she would like another cat for company and think they would play together and entertain each other but I think I have to also think logically about it potentially going wrong.

I know in my head it's really probably not a good idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
frostedviolets · 13/10/2019 09:50

I am anxious about how I would cope if they actually hated each other too.

Mum has two cats (mum and son) and they loathe each other, she is issues at the moment with a neighbours cat coming in and the younger cat weeing as a result.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/10/2019 09:50

You don’t really want to. Is probably worse than not having the time.
I agree if you can’t handle an adult cat.

It’s a bit daft getting a mischievous kitten. Kittens are very very playful.
Maybe another older cat would work to help mellow him out.

Annabk · 13/10/2019 09:50

YABU. Animals have their own personalities and needs. You sound like one of those people who think pets should enrich your life without you doing much to facilitate their happiness.

doxxed · 13/10/2019 09:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Original poster
frostedviolets · 13/10/2019 09:54

You sound like one of those people who think pets should enrich your life without you doing much to facilitate their happiness

Ah, there's always one.
The cat is well looked after, she is loved, she doesn't go without affection.
She seems quite happy.

I was/possibly am thinking about getting another cat for HER benefit because I think she would really enjoy a playmate and I was/am hoping it could lessen the destructive behaviour.

OP posts:
Duckegg271 · 13/10/2019 09:56

People on here can be utter arse holes.

Don't be ridiculous. You shouldn't have a cat at all. Poor cat. Our cat scratches ie buggered carpets plus new rug but she's a cat. We accept it

Don’t be ridiculous! Of course she should have a cat. It’s ok to not want your cat to destroy your home!! Cats are naturally scratchy buggers and should be taught what is and isn’t allowed to be scratched!

OP, keep providing lots of opportunities for play, lots of scratching posts and with time your cat might just naturally calm down as she gets older.

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