To ask about Christmas Eve traditions for couple with no kids

[Goricki19]

Hello! This year is the first year myself and my partner (of 7 years) will spend Christmas Eve together. We both usually go home. My own traditions involve a lot of family - we live in close proximity of a lot of family,so we usually have a few people all day then meet others at the pub, at least two siblings are always at my parents. Never mind my mums 2 siblings and their partners lol. We have drinks,we eat “Christmas Eve soup” we have cheese,we listen to Christmas music,home alone is likely to be on and my mammy is likely to be worried about the next day while my dad is trying to decide should we leave the beer outside or not overnight. If there is grandchildren their is obviously a lot of Santa excitement like any house (this isn’t every year as my brother co-parents). My partner usually goes to her sisters house and after her sisters boyfriend leave they set out the Christmas presents for her niece and order chinese. We have a lot more things too as in go to mass,walk around the decorations etc etc. However when I mentioned doing one of my traditions which is basically watching Santa leaving the North Pole on an Irish tv channel to my partner she said “aw and what do that for the next 30 too - I’m not your ma n da” then I said well why don’t we go to the pub and she said “that can’t be a tradition encase we have kids” I said well let’s make a nice dinner - again “sure we won’t always make a nice dinner on the day before Christmas” feel like I can’t win! Any words of wisdom??

I'm single and live on my own. I work during the day; we usually finish early at around lunch time. Come home, chill, play festive music and watch festive films. Then I head out around 11.15pm to mass.

Out Xmas Eve traditions were always I'd be in my xmas PJ's as soon as it was dark. DP would meet his friends in pub across the road for an hour or two and then he would come home for steak sandwiches and we would open the Bailey's, watch and xmas film and snuggle.

12 years, 3 kids and several houses down the line, I miss those days

We now go to inlaws on Xmas Eve (all the cousins are there) for a family meal. We then walk home about 7ish and look at all the Xmas tree and lights and we 'look for Santa' then its home for PJ's, hot chocolate, and a family Xmas film - not all that different to what we used to do but a lot more noisy and chaotic

Am excited just thinking about it!! Christmas Eve is my most favourite day of the year!!!

When I was much younger and single we used to go clubbing on Xmas Eve. Getting in a 3am and then up with my younger siblings (they are 8 and 10 years younger than me!) at 8am when they could wait no longer to get into their gifts.

What does she want to do? Does she want the quiet Chinese takeaway and evening on the sofa thing? If so, compromise. You will do this, and watch Santa leave (what channel by the way?).

If you aren't working during the day, go for a walk, eat mince pies, Skype your families.

Or you can go out yup the pub. This can always change if you have kids - she can't have it both worlds, no watching santa leave because it is childish and she doesn't want to do that forever (kids will want to) but no adult stuff either in case it changes. - if you do have kids, you might take them with you.

I always used to go out with friends, now I work and panic wrap presents in an evening/ construct a cake with 300 individual instructions etc.

Traditions change

You can actually change traditions! When we were young and had no kids, our tradition was the pub...when we had small dc we visited family...when they got older we spent time with friends...now they are adults we are back at the pub!
So, you can have a pub based tradition for now, and feel free to adapt or change it if you have dc, you make your own rules!

Traditions evolve they're not thought about and planned in advance. Like one year I did bacaronib cheese and the next year the kids requested the same and then we starred doing Jane's martibs version as it was more special etc.

I loved Christmas Eve pre-kids. In the morning I’d bake and prep anything for the next day and make a jar of homemade hot chocolate mix.

Then we’d each get some lovely new pjs, hot chocolate and Belgian waffle and watch some Christmas films.

We have an open house party on Christmas Eve and have done so for the last 38 years - 50 plus people, big buffet, mulled wine etc. At midnight we open champagne and toast in Christmas with whoever is still here (usually our closest friends and family). Then Christmas Day is the usual Church, meal, walk, presents ...

Children or otherwise, we work until lunchtime, then driven for 1000 hours to family at the other end of the country. I hate Christmas Eve unless it’s on a weekend.

Afternoon we just potter about, relax and prep some things for next day's big Christmas roast.
We have early Christmas eve dinner, crack open a bottle, open presents (and then stockings on 25th) and then watch Snowman. After that board games come out, more cracking open of bottles happen, cheeseboard and more board games. 😁

What does your other half suggests?

sure we won’t always make a nice dinner on the day before Christmas Christmas start on 24th😁 You can have as many nice Christmas dinners as you want to. We have 3 over 3 day period. Though Christmas Eve one is relatively simple and light-ish compare to other two days.

Christmas are what you make of them. Anything goes!🎄🎄🎄

I also feel that the whole "traditions" thing is overrated. Just do what you want to do. Surely that's the joy of being an adult?

Its mine and DPs first Christmas in our new house. The past couple of years have been really hard and tbh we've ignored Christmas altogether, but this year for the first time in years, my elsest son will be with us! I know its its nowt special but I'm so excited!

@EmmaGrundyForPM I know, it’s amazing isn’t it!

Until I gave up work, I worked basically every Christmas Eve for 20 years from 3pm till midnight. DH and the kids did all the fun Christmas Eve stuff, but I insisted on filling the stockings when I got in.

As others have said, traditions evolve organically. There’s way too much emphasis placed on creating “memories” now, and it takes all the fun out of it. Two months notice to plan how to spend one day is crackers, and it’s just setting up too much weight of expectation.

I don't have a partner but my DS is 24 and lives at home so hopefully this counts!

In previous years when I've been employed, unless Xmas Eve has fallen on a weekend, I've usually worked until at least 1pm. (In fact often I was the last one out after sending everyone else home at lunchtime!)

Now I'm self employed and can set my own hours and days worked, so I'll generally plan to finish work on the 23rd and spent most of the 24th just having fun prepping some food for the following day (eg braised red cabbage, apple crumble, etc.) We might also take the bus/tram into town and have a walk around looking at the lights. Or we might just drive around looking at the residential lights - some people put on amazing displays! (I used to do this every year when DS was little so I hope when he has his own DC it will a tradition he'll want to pass on!)

In the evening we'll generally have something easy to eat, like the frozen party platters from Tesco/Morrisons, and we'll have a watchlist of films and TV which my DS will have spent time collating across all our channels during the previous 10 days. We spend a lot of time with our menagerie of pets and give them their Xmas presents (usually homemade toys) and some fresh treats.

We usually also play some games - generally on the Xbox, such as Monopoly, because board games involved me sitting forward in a chair which is painful on my back.

Having seen so many people mention the "Xmas PJs" thing, I think I might adapt that and start a "New Xmas slippers and dressing gown" routine!

Last year we watched films, played card games and ate random party food from Tesco, cheeses, bread, crisps and chocolate. Probably do the same this year. Nothing fancy, just relaxing and enjoying each others company before the mayhem starts on Christmas and boxing day of visiting each others families.

I think Xmas traditions evolve when you have your own kids. As a young adult with no kids I'd be making the most of being out with friends. Christmas Eve is a great night in pubs/clubs. Seems stupid to deny yourself a good time just because you won't always be able to do it! We wouldn't bother doing anything if we all thought like that. Your DP sounds a bit awkward tbh.

He plays the organ for the Christingle service at the church; after that we go for a walk to look at the decorations in other houses; we love doing this.

We then have a bit of fun very personal to us: he prepares my stocking, and wraps some last-minute presents for me. While he does this, I'm in the room with him, hearing him in action, teasing him to try and make him disclose what he's bought me, and wishing that I could see through the Santa hat that's over my eyes. It's the silliest thing ever, but we love it, and do it every year.

God, I can't believe people without kids bother...I only do Christmas stuff for the kids. I assumed everyone else did the same. If I didn't have kids, i wouldn't give a stuff. I'd quite happily never have another Christmas again.

Sorry just realised that sounded quite obnoxious. Not saying childfree people shouldn't bother, just surprised they do. Christmas is just another chore to get through for me.

We have only three 'unmovable' traditions for Christmas eve and they're all pretty broad.

Christmas carols - usually carols from King's whilst wrapping presents/prepping veg. Usually after we've done whatever we needed to do for the day.

Alcohol - we open a bottle of prosecco and then have our annual 'prosecco is overrated isn't it?' conversation. More drinks will be consumed. Not so we're blathered, but just to the warm 'glowy' stage.

Party food tea - although this may change this year as we are likely to be having party food on Christmas day itself (probably not though! I can definitely do two days on party food!)

Usually there's a bit of running around during the day, dropping off presents etc. If we're going elsewhere for Christmas Dinner we will drop off our contribution, popping into any relatives we won't get a chance to see on Christmas day.

We try and avoid supermarkets, but there's always one bloody thing that we need so normally nip in.

We might go to the pub or a friends house for drinks.

I love getting in after everything has been done and sitting down with the tree lights twinkling. It's not quite as good as being a kid knowing santa is on his way, but it's still a pretty grand feeling.

Christmas is just another chore to get through for me.

As I said, Christmas are what you make of them.
I genuinely think many people are making them unnecessarily difficult for themselves. Buy food, cook and relax😁 We would be cooking anyway, we just make something nicer. I spread the prep over 2 days so it's not all just running around doing crazy amount of stuff. Same with presents. Few things we each need.
No cleaning after 23rd till 27th. Just wipe the table etc. Basics. Hoover and mop have Christmas time off. So does washing machine.
I stopped bothering about what others do and what they think about my Christmas a long time ago.

Not giving a fuck about other's opinions allows me to enjoy the time exactly as I want to. 😁 Which is 3 days of being slightly tipsy, munching on tasty food while swearing like a trooper during board games. It's a bliss.

Oh and having all family at least 1000 miles away helps😂

We have a Christmas(ish!) movie that we love and watch every Christmas Eve with bottle of champagne and a box of our favourite treat each.
We do have children but this is what we do once they’re in bed. Before bed we have a simple meal but make it special with mini crackers etc, we take a walk out to look at the lights on the local houses then put out the stockings/treats and read the kids the night before Christmas.
You could do the tv thing, the meal and a walk (via the pub!) or both!
Don’t worry too much about making it a tradition. Things change and if you do have kids at some point, you will start new traditions anyway x

Dh and I have been together 5y but regularly spent Christmas together before that as best friends. Neither of us had nice Christmas experiences as children so we try to balance recreating nice childish experiences with not getting over invested in the Christmas thing.

For the past few years we have gone to Edinburgh zoo to see the giant lanterns on Christmas eve which is a lovely treat. Every year since we've been friends we have had out little Christmas eve thing though. We have a fold away gift box that we fill with nice things and open on Christmas eve. It contains one new set of PJs each, a new mug each (everyone has their fave right? We go shopping once a year and buy a new "favourite", spend ages finding the one that feels right to hold etc) some posh mince pies and a bottle of some non alcoholic adult drink like shloer. We save all the Christmas episodes of all our favourite shows all year and watch them over 24th-26th and watch all the not christmassy Christmas films (Addams family anyone?) plus a few Christmas ones we particularly like. On Christmas day we just hang out and do the same basically, sometimes theres gifts if we have extra cash but we mostly focus on having nice food and being friends.

Christmas Pyjamas is definitely a thing. Can't beat going to sleep in a fresh bed and then waking up in brand new clothes. I'm going to inflict it upon DP this year, as his are knackered.

Christmas Eve morning is spent going to the shops first thing to get whatever lump of animal is reduced, lots of veggies and suchlike. We're heading home by 11, just as the rest of the world is just getting into town. We usually get distracted by the pub for an hour, then stick a film on and he starts fannying about and messing up the kitchen, as his Thing is to make cheese straws. They're more like cheese scaffolding poles, but they're hot, cheesy and delivered to the sofa as I'm watching a kids' film whilst the DTwatCats snore around me.

I'd love to go to Mass, but he's the crappest Catholic ever, so there's no way he's going to do that. If there's carol singing somewhere within walking distance, I can usually get him to come along (especially as that means there's a pub on the way back). Or Carols from Kings.

I then have to have his homemade lasagna (I used to do fish, usually Cod or Salmon, with potatoes, loads of dill and suchlike, but he's not keen), more films and then when the booze catches up on me, there will be crashing out just after midnight, ready to start Christmas with a caffeine bomb - strong black coffee, very sweet, with a big slug of whiskey - and him doing a fry up.