To ask about Christmas Eve traditions for couple with no kids

[Goricki19]

Hello! This year is the first year myself and my partner (of 7 years) will spend Christmas Eve together. We both usually go home. My own traditions involve a lot of family - we live in close proximity of a lot of family,so we usually have a few people all day then meet others at the pub, at least two siblings are always at my parents. Never mind my mums 2 siblings and their partners lol. We have drinks,we eat “Christmas Eve soup” we have cheese,we listen to Christmas music,home alone is likely to be on and my mammy is likely to be worried about the next day while my dad is trying to decide should we leave the beer outside or not overnight. If there is grandchildren their is obviously a lot of Santa excitement like any house (this isn’t every year as my brother co-parents). My partner usually goes to her sisters house and after her sisters boyfriend leave they set out the Christmas presents for her niece and order chinese. We have a lot more things too as in go to mass,walk around the decorations etc etc. However when I mentioned doing one of my traditions which is basically watching Santa leaving the North Pole on an Irish tv channel to my partner she said “aw and what do that for the next 30 too - I’m not your ma n da” then I said well why don’t we go to the pub and she said “that can’t be a tradition encase we have kids” I said well let’s make a nice dinner - again “sure we won’t always make a nice dinner on the day before Christmas” feel like I can’t win! Any words of wisdom??

Cozy pub!

It sounds like you already have a lot of traditions and you said that yours involve family. Will you be doing any of that still or is there a distance issue?

Even if you have a nice meal this year, it doesn’t mean that that has to be the tradition. You’ll still need to eat!

And you can watch Santa take off without your partner (not everything has to be done together - they could go and wrap some presents).

Go for a nice walk during the day (if we’re off work - doesn’t always happen) & watch Die Hard in the evening

DP goes out and gets pissed and I can never be arsed so lie in the sofa eating chocolate and napping. Ho ho ho

Mammoth chaotic (usually) day at work here - I don't have children and am usually too tired for much by the evening. I'm surprised so many people are off - teachers, clearly, but surely otherwise you have to take it in turns? Admittedly I am far more antisocial and pathetic than most when it comes to evenings out after work though, I'm sure you'll find all sorts of things - theatre/pantomime/cinema if you wanted to get out together, and agree why not a meal out or go to the pub - things will evolve with children, it's not a one-decision-forever moment!

Go home! He sounds like a grinch

PUB!!!!! Pre kids this is what we did. Then changed what we did when kids came along

DH and I now have Christmas alone together after 26 years of hosting parents. DB, partner and DN go abroad to partner’s parents. Their dog comes to us. It was a bit strange to begin with but we like it now. Christmas starts with watching the Strictly final with champagne and nibbles.

Early afternoon we go to a local restaurant for a lazy lunch then stroll home, lock ourselves away till Christmas Day.

We open one present and swap a Christmas decoration. He always gets me the annual Swarovski Christmas Star (have one for every year we've been together).

Christmas morning is walk down the beach, feed the ducks, geese and swans at the Boating Lake then back for champagne.

I love Christmas!

Christmas traditions can be tried and altered as you need/want to.

Christmas Eve for us is a mix of traditions from our families that we love. So we go for a curry, go to midnight mass and when we come home we open a small present. When we have young kids, we’ll probably drop midnight mass for a while but probably watch some Christmas films and track Santa instead.

It’s also ok to try something and decide you don’t like it. One Christmas Day, we went to the pub for our Christmas dinner and I just didn’t like it. There’s elements I liked, like not cleaning up after, but it just wasn’t the same as being at home. So even if it’s just the two of us, we’ll still cook a Christmas dinner at home.

I think too much emphasis is placed on ‘making traditions’. Traditions are meant to evolve naturally because you enjoy doing something, you’re not supposed to decide what your tradition is before you do it.

Thanks to an accidentally fast moving relationship my husband and I have never had a child free Christmas . Even with kids though we have no set traditions, we just do what we fancy doing, which would probably be what we’d have done with no kids.

Last year we stayed in and read books, watched films, ate cheese, played board games, drank mulled wine. We were out for Christmas Day so didn’t mind staying in.

The year before we went to the zoo for the day, then came home and ate cheese, played games, drank mulled wine (maybe we do have traditions?).

Year before that we went for breakfast at the garden centre, then went for a walk through the forest.

Just plan a nice activity for the day, doesn’t mean you have to commit to it every year. Then drink mulled wine and eat cheese while playing scrabble before you go to bed, that can be your tradition if you need one

Pub 🤷‍♀️

pre child, I would finish work around 10pm and then head to the pub.

After child is when I made traditions. We have a fucking elf, which I have been regretting for the last 7 years, he turns up on the 1st December and leaves a lovely note on the 24th, we watch santa on Norad.

When child goes to sleep, I wrap all the presents and then debate if I can have porridge with champagne

Before we had kids, on Christmas Eve DH (and when he was just DP) and I would:

Have a few drinks after work with friends
Have a roast dinner - Christmas day is ALWAYS turkey so it would generally be lamb
Each year alternate on one of us buying a DVD box set, then do 20 questions to guess what box set it was
Both pick one present from under the tree to unwrap
Stay up until at least midnight and unwrap stockings before going to bed (this started as one year we were due to have a very early start the next day so we did it out of practical necessity; we then just carried on the subsequent year!)

We love Christmas and have DC - this year our oldest will 'get' what's going on and I'm super excited!

Since having DC we've added a Christmas Eve box to the above list too. We don't do a tree present the night before though!

We are child free and do something different each year. See different friends, some years we might go to the pub, some years we stay in with nice food and a film. This year we are away. Don't get bogged down in creating 'traditions'

Before our friends all had kids our tradition was a big pub crawl and curry with friends.

Now its mulled cider, Xmas pj's and an Xmas film with party nibbles.

We've always opened 1 present Xmas eve night too.

Christmas eve is full of traditions in our house, mostly kid related but some specifically for me and dh.

Tree goes up Christmas Eve so we have DH's traditional swearing when he realises how big the tree I bought is. He then makes mince pies and sausage rolls while I decorate.

Christmas cocktails. He creates a new cocktail each year (although they tend to be variations on the theme of a white russian)

Dinner is always M&S crispy duck and fizz. We've started watching a "slow tv" programme called the sleigh ride each year.

Then it is time for Die Hard.

She sounds like she's being not very nice and is trying to piss on your chips OP.

We have gone out for dinner on Christmas Eve then go to midnight mass.

No small children any more so a lot of the manic excitement is gone. But my DH will still prepare the vegetables to the ‘Nine Lesson and Carols’ from Kings College Chapel, Cambridge on Radio Four and, if my grown up DD comes for the evening, we will watch ‘Love Actually’ and drink Champagne.

I love Christmas Eve. I usually work in the morning but in the afternoon we go to see a play or some sort of a show. It doesn’t need to be Christmas related, just special. Last year it was an outdoor type light show. This year we’re going to see the Lion King and I’m so excited! In the evening we usually have a takeaway, drink hot chocolate (DC and DP) and wine (me), track Santa, watch some Christmas movie and just chill. Since having DC, we added the Christmas box to the mix, which is nothing spectacular, just Christmas pyjamas, hot chocolate, a board game and a goodbye letter from the Elf (I HATE the bastard!).

I co parent and this year is my first year without my daughter so I'm intending to travel somewhere hot and faraway for ten days and lie on a beach, drink cocktails and read a shedload of books. Not exactly traditional but rather that than staying home alone

Agree with PPs- you can’t “create” a tradition, and decide before you’ve even done it that it will be your tradition. So what you would both like to do. If you like it, repeat next year and it starts to become a tradition. But mainly just focus on having fun.

Personally, if I had a child free Xmas eve this year, I’d go out somewhere for a walk during the day, then have a lovely seafood platter, a bottle of champagne and watch something festive on tv.

DH & I have always worked Christmas Eve ... usually I try to see what bargains are available in the supermarkets before they close. One Christmas Eve I spent trying to find freezer space for a lot of food which had been generously donated to the Food Bank ... not very easy!

The evening is then spent cooking a nice meal (often a ham) & Midnight Mass but I'm another who doesn't get the need for 'traditions', sometimes that can get very samey and create huge problems in the future when you realise that other people have different traditions (ie; adults who still go home to mum and dad at Christmas because their traditions are 'better' .

This year I shall be alone Christmas Eve, really looking forward to it .

Get pissed