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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should unsolicited dick pics be an arrestable offence?

103 replies

Asta19 · 12/10/2019 22:41

Now i’m not talking about pre agreed photo swapping between two consenting adults. Obviously in that scenario it’s their own business. I’m talking, guy you hardly know sending an unasked for dick pic. Any of us who have online dated likely have experience of this. Exposure in person is, quite rightly, an arrestable offence but it seems that there is no such protection online. Why? You could argue “don’t look at the pic then” but would you say to an exposure victim “just don’t look” no of course not. Taking my own experience, and that of friends and relatives, many of us have fallen victim to the unasked for dick pic. I feel we have successfully dealt with harassment/indecent behaviour in real life. For example it has now been illegal (and a sex offence) for some time, to pinch a woman’s bum. Yet this type of behaviour has transferred online and we’re supposed to just accept it. AIBU? Interested in others thoughts on this.

OP posts:

PickAChew · 13/10/2019 00:09

They're no different than flashing, so yes.

JenniferM1989 · 13/10/2019 00:11

Yes and good on you for bringing up this subject. Now that I'm thinking about it (been years since I was sent a dick pic), it's flashing and we shouldn't have to put up with it

Ginkypig · 13/10/2019 00:40

Iv been lucky that I met someone at 18 and am still with them in my 30's so have never had to old or had to experience this but yes I do think it should be an arrestable offence.

To be honest though police and the justice system are already struggling to carry out arrest and decent punishment for serious sexual crimes (and other crimes) so I very much doubt there would be the funds and manpower to follow through on this. That doesn't mean it shouldn't be punishable though!

Vehivle · 13/10/2019 00:56

Yes!

Ridiclious · 13/10/2019 01:08

Yes. Absolutely.

MarieVanGoethem · 13/10/2019 01:09

“Online flashing” isn’t currently a crime - however, the government’s report on Ending Violence Against Women & Girls gives both Work with the UK Council for Internet Safety to better understand and pre-empt the potential for VAWG through new technology to keep victims safe and Explore issues of ‘online flashing’, and consider options for next steps as specific action points, so there’s reason to hope that legislation will be forthcoming.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 13/10/2019 03:20

Yes.
Its the same as flashing.
And that's illegal.

Likethebattle · 13/10/2019 03:32

I always just think why? Let’s face it, male genitals are bloody ugly 🤢 Is seeing a picture meant to make women hot with desire? It certainly doesn’t. I usually reply ‘what is that? It looks like a penis but much smaller!’ Then block them.

Mintjulia · 13/10/2019 03:51

It’s the modern day equivalent of the flasher in the park. They used to be reported, it was important because they are sex offenders and they often progressed to more serious offences.
It’s depressing that now they think it won’t be reported, just how many inadequate creeps there are out there.

sashh · 13/10/2019 04:46

I would suspect that they will claim that it was consenting / with agreement.

The onus should be on them to prove it was asked for.

AlbertWinestein · 13/10/2019 04:52

Yes. And I think asking a 16 year old girl to share booty pics, completely unsolicited, should be illegal too.

FoodWoes · 13/10/2019 04:54

I've never received one, thank god.

A woman sent me a pic of her breasts out on Facebook a few weeks ago. That was utterly bizarre.

PhilCornwall1 · 13/10/2019 05:05

As a bloke (so obviously have the aforementioned appendage!), I can't get my head around wanting to take dick pics anyway, just why??

To my mind sending one unsolicited is exactly the same as flashing and should be punishable in the same way.

I bet if you asked people how many unsolicited fanny or boob pics they have received, I don't expect there would be many saying they got them.

Gingerkittykat · 13/10/2019 05:07

Yes, there was a man convicted of this locally. He had arranged to buy an item online and once he had the woman's details he sent the dick pic. I can see why she was intimidated by having a male stranger who knows her address send a picture like that.

MutedUser · 13/10/2019 05:23

Yes it should and the same should apply to woman who send body parts pictures to men unsolicited too.

grumpypregnanttired · 13/10/2019 07:04

Yeah but why only dick pics? I think this should cover ANY unsolicited nude photos sent from a male or a female. If sending unsolicited dick pics is a crime then so should be unsolicited and unwanted photos of breasts/nudes etc.

BarbaraStrozzi · 13/10/2019 07:30

Yes. It is online flashing.

If my son chose to do that he'd deserve the consequences, just like any other crime.

And why are we talking about dick pics rather than fanny pics? Well, simply because dick pics are very common whereas unsolicited fanny pics appear to be vanishingly rare. Like other forms of sexual offending. Obviously both should be illegal, but seriously, have you ever heard a man say one of the problems with online dating/absent-mindedly leaving airdrop on/ giving your phone number out for legitimate reasons to a relative stranger c(eg tradeswoman, woman on gumtree) is the risk of unsolicited fanny pics?

WelcomeToShootingStars · 13/10/2019 07:33

Yes. But it should apply to sending any pornographic / explicit images uninvited. I've received plenty from women!

whattodo2019 · 13/10/2019 07:33

I believe it is. If you report it to the police the culprit will be arrested

Dieu · 13/10/2019 07:34

YANBU.

Fatshedra · 13/10/2019 07:44

I am not tech savvy - how do they know your phone number or email address to send you stuff.

nottodaysatanlucifer · 13/10/2019 07:50

I used to get this ALOT when online dating. I even had it happen on a few occasions on snapchat. So I would immediately screen shot it (it would notify them) and I'd tell them I was going to make it public. They'd shit themselves.

MsVestibule · 13/10/2019 07:58

I started a thread about this exact same thing a few years ago; it's a shame we're still having the same discussion.

Ok so is everyone prepared to give statements and then turn up to court and give evidence because that’s actually what you’re signing up for. I would suspect that they will claim that it was consenting / with agreement. You’re potentially also signing up for your sons to be criminalised ( and apparently put on the sex offenders register)

divebar I found your post quite bizarre. I don't understand why you think people would be averse to this? Yes, a few would find the process intimidating (so is reporting sexual assault etc) but it shouldn't stop us. And yes, if I found out that my son had been sending unsolicited dick pics, I absolutely hope he would face the legal and social consequences.

Of course it wouldn't be easy to investigate but surely it's not that difficult to find an IP address from a message? And once the CPS had a few, hopefully highly publicised, convictions under their belt, it would make men think twice about doing this if they knew their name and photo could be in the media and they lost their job as a result of it.

BarbaraStrozzi · 13/10/2019 08:01

Welcometoshootingstars I stand corrected - I hadn't realised that it was common for men to receive these unsolicited.

Though as I said, of course it should be illegal both ways round.

ThePallidBustOfPallas · 13/10/2019 08:04

I usually reply ‘what is that? It looks like a penis but much smaller!’ Then block them.

This is fabulous.

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