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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should unsolicited dick pics be an arrestable offence?

103 replies

Asta19 · 12/10/2019 22:41

Now i’m not talking about pre agreed photo swapping between two consenting adults. Obviously in that scenario it’s their own business. I’m talking, guy you hardly know sending an unasked for dick pic. Any of us who have online dated likely have experience of this. Exposure in person is, quite rightly, an arrestable offence but it seems that there is no such protection online. Why? You could argue “don’t look at the pic then” but would you say to an exposure victim “just don’t look” no of course not. Taking my own experience, and that of friends and relatives, many of us have fallen victim to the unasked for dick pic. I feel we have successfully dealt with harassment/indecent behaviour in real life. For example it has now been illegal (and a sex offence) for some time, to pinch a woman’s bum. Yet this type of behaviour has transferred online and we’re supposed to just accept it. AIBU? Interested in others thoughts on this.

OP posts:

user1486131602 · 12/10/2019 23:20

The act of taking picture is NOT a crime.
Sending the picture, unsolicited or IS a crime.

NotTonightJosepheen · 12/10/2019 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainingallday · 12/10/2019 23:21

Why do they do it?

Serious question.

Married 30 years, not dated anyone other than DH since the mid 1980s. So I am not au faix with dating now - and have never met anyone or contacted anyone through the internet. (For dating I mean.)

So why do these men send a pic of their dick to a woman they don't even know, have never dated, and have often never even met?!

I mean, are they not afraid the woman will expose them (so to speak,) and post the pic on twitter or something??? (Especially if the woman has his real name!)

That pic of his dick is out there in the world now! (Once he has sent it to someone!)

Just bizarre, and I honestly don't get it!

In answer to the question @Asta19 YES it should be an offence, and I am sure that the police could track said pervert via the i.p. address!

FluffyEarMuffs · 12/10/2019 23:22

Well, knock me down. I'd have never have guessed Texas would be the place it's illegal.

www.insider.com/unsolicited-dick-pic-sending-now-illegal-texas-500-fine-bumble-2019-9

HoneysuckIejasmine · 12/10/2019 23:23

YANBU! I've never received one (thankfully already married before they were a thing) but I honestly don't know a single woman who finds the penis attractive. It's indecent exposure.

Divebar · 12/10/2019 23:25

Ok so is everyone prepared to give statements and then turn up to court and give evidence because that’s actually what you’re signing up for. I would suspect that they will claim that it was consenting / with agreement. You’re potentially also signing up for your sons to be criminalised ( and apparently put on the sex offenders register). Not that I’m saying this behaviour is acceptable but that is what will be expected if you want to report it to police.

BlackeyedGruesome · 12/10/2019 23:25

yanbu

Quellium · 12/10/2019 23:26

Yes. It's disgusting. Dirty perves. It's indecent exposure.

If someone whopped it out in front of you apropos of nothing, you'd be horrified. By text or airdrop is no different.

Wheat2Harvest · 12/10/2019 23:27

Exposure in person is, quite rightly, an arrestable offence

Not if they're on a bike and there's a gang of them, apparently.

MulticolourMophead · 12/10/2019 23:37

Divebar If my son was sending dick pics, I'd report him myself.

I have been teaching my DC acceptable behaviour, and this certainly isn't.

MondeoFan · 12/10/2019 23:44

Yes it's totally gross and unnecessary.
I've had a couple myself from OLD, only spoke for a few days, they live far from me, we don't have same interests etc
They send a dick pic without any fore warning etc as they think it'll possibly urge me on into meeting them
Urghhhhh
I'd love for it to be an offence

Ginfordinner · 12/10/2019 23:44

I have just googled airdrop, and am not much the wiser. Does it mean that anyone using it will get unsolicited pictures from random strangers? Can you disconnect from it or switch it off?

I have an Android phone so this is probably why I have never heard of it before.

In answer to the OP - yes, it should be illegal.

I simply don't understand the mentality of anyone who thinks that it is appropriate or that women actually enjoy receiving pictures of an ugly appendage. After all, it isn't exactly a thing of beauty.

Sunflower20 · 12/10/2019 23:46

Absolutely, a punishable offence too...

MulticolourMophead · 12/10/2019 23:46

The weirdest dick pic I came across had been dropped in the crochet thread on Reddit. It was deleted pretty quickly.

MrsKCastle · 12/10/2019 23:53

You’re potentially also signing up for your sons to be criminalised ( and apparently put on the sex offenders register).

Well, I don't have a son. But I'd be teaching all my children that sending explicit pictures of themselves is a very bad idea, and that sending unsolicited explicit pictures is a very, VERY bad idea and if they do so, they should face the consequences.

Just as I'd be teaching my children that exposing themselves to others is a VERY bad idea. And pretty darn disgusting.

BruceAndNosh · 12/10/2019 23:55

Scuse my ignorance (last time I dated, mobiles were new fangled things the size of bricks) but do most blokes send erect dick pics or "meh, can't be bothered to get it up" ones?

colouringinpro · 12/10/2019 23:55

Yes.

TottieandMarchpane · 12/10/2019 23:57

Yes, definitely.

Ginfordinner · 12/10/2019 23:59

Ok so is everyone prepared to give statements and then turn up to court and give evidence because that’s actually what you’re signing up for.

Happily

You’re potentially also signing up for your sons to be criminalised (and apparently put on the sex offenders register)

Like MrsKCastle if I had a son I would teach him that sending explicit pictures is inappropriate and illegal (if it became illegal) and I would spell out the consequences.

I don't understand why you think these issues would be a problem Divebar

Branster · 13/10/2019 00:00

I was under the misapprehension that it was already.
MrsPeacockDidIt that is shocking! How do they know who to send it to? One of my DD’s teenage friends, a boy, got some almost nude pictures by Bluetooth on the train platform of a 50 odd year old woman which, naturally, he found quite stupid.

Ginfordinner · 13/10/2019 00:00

BruceAndNosh the last time I dated mobile phones hadn't been invented

TottieandMarchpane · 13/10/2019 00:01

You’re potentially also signing up for your sons to be criminalised ( and apparently put on the sex offenders register).

If DS were to send un-asked-for photos of his willy to a woman he hadn’t met, he would deserve to be on the register and to have the criminal record.

It wouldn’t be me “signing him up for” it. He’s an adult. He’s responsible for the consequences of his actions.

That’s how crime and policing works.

Isadora2007 · 13/10/2019 00:04

I’m sure it is.

Branster · 13/10/2019 00:06

rainingallday same here. I can only imagine it’s the only thing they value about themselves and are proud of it so want to show it off in some twisted logic. As others have said, it really is not a pretty thing to look at especially out of context as it were.

Isadora2007 · 13/10/2019 00:07

The 2003 communications act made it illegal to send indecent or obscene images.

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