Future MIL not congratulating engagement

[ChanandlerBongIsHere]

DP and I recently announced our engagement and (future) MIL has said nothing to me. Not a word. His sister commented on my post about how excited she was for me to be ‘properly’ joining the family after so long, but I’ve had nothing from MIL. No text, no message, no comment, not even a bloody 'like’. FWIW, she uses Facebook/messenger/WhatsApp all the time, and it's how her, dp and future SIL all keep in touch and contact one another, so it's not like she's adverse to commenting, liking and/or sharing things via social media. She's online almost all day long and has my phone number too if that makes any difference..

DP and I have been together a long time and have DC’s together. I’ve stuck by her son through a lot of things over the years, have given her wonderful grandchildren (who she never bothers to see, presumably because she has an issue with me? I don’t know anymore!) and I just don’t know what I’ve done wrong to be treated like this. Is it really so hard to say congratulations to your future daughter in law on her engagement to your son?

I’m wracking my brains trying to think of anything I might’ve done or said to make her disapprove of our choice to get married, but I honesty can’t think of a single thing. I’m always pleasant and kind when we see her, take an interest in her life and the things she’s been up to, I’m never rude. I just don’t get it.

So I guess my ‘AIBU’ is: am I being unreasonable to wonder whether this is the norm? Or am I overthinking everything?

Has anyone else experienced this?

No I meant I'm just assuming she doesn't see the DC's because she may have a problem with me (where that may stem from, I honestly have no clue!) and that that could be a possible explanation as to why a grandmother doesn't want to see her grandchildren.

If I could think of any reason, big or small, why she doesn't interact with our DC's and why she hasn't sent her regards regarding our engagement, then I wouldn't now be going round and round in circles trying to think of any situation or incident which has lead her to behave this way.

An engagement when you've been together forever and have kids might seem a bit odd to her

It does seem a little odd to expect excitement over an engagement when much bigger commitments have already been made. If I'd had my children before we were married we'd have just got married.
I was pregnant when we got married. So we just got married.
Engagement would have seemed a little silly. To me anyway, and perhaps others of my generation.

After the way she has behaved towards you in the past why are you so surprised she hasn't congratulated you on your engagement.

She obviously doesn't like you which is pretty sad and she doesn't want to make any effort with you which isn't nice but all you can do is accept it and reciprocate by not making any effort at all when you do come into contact with her.

As for her disinterest in your children, I would be asking my husband to ask her why that is. She doesn't sound like a nice person at all.

Be happy with your little family unit and sod her.

Perhaps she thinks it's a bit of a non-event. If you've been together for years and have children, why bother to announce an engagement.

When ExH told his mother, by phone, we were engaged; she congratulated him and invited us for lunch.
We went, his DSis was there too. His mother then made a big deal of asking if we had anything to announce. A bit confused he said, well we are engaged, she acted like she had never heard the news before. She then looked at me and asked if there was anything I wanted to add, even more confused, I said we hadn't set a date yet.
She then stared at me asking anything else? Quizzical look from me, 'Maybe the patter of tiny feet?'
I told her we haven't even though about children.
I will remember her next words forever
'Well, if you're not pregnant, as you say you aren't. Congratulations'
It was said in such a way that told me she thought I was lying.

I dunno... Hard isn't it. If I imagined not liking my future potential Dil, sil I think I might find it hard to spend much time with them. Their partners will be their choice and we might have different views. I'm fairly sure I could always be polite and personable though. Maybe she struggles with this? I think you need to accept you are not her cup of tea .....Why does it matter to you? Not everyone you meet is going to like you

Maybe she is just a bit old fashioned and doesnt see the point in a big congrats/great news/ lets have a party message when you have lived together for many years and have children together, maybe she thinks its a bit like shutting the stable door !

I had a mil like that.
we got on fabulously but she never congratulated me when i and now x told her we were getting married,she just looked and looked away.
I thought OKAY,weird response and that was that.
So basically leave her to it and enjoy your day.