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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I strange for being scared of vomit?

74 replies

Lolly122 · 12/10/2019 20:07

So just want to know if I’m being unreasonable. This might sound a bit strange but I need to know that I’m not going crazy. Basically I am terrified of vomit. I’ve felt this way since as long as I can remember and it effects me greatly. But the problem is that my partner is very unsupportive towards it. He says I’m putting it on and it’s made up. For example, last night he woke me up being sick. I ran downstairs, got on the sofa and put a blanket over my head. I was shaking, sweating, crying, had my fingers in my ears and I even considered getting in my car and driving somewhere. The only reason I didn’t was because it was 2 in the morning. I slept on the sofa all night and in the morning he was having a go at me saying I’m pathetic and being dramatic. It effects me in every way possible. If someone on TV is being sick I have to look away even though I know it’s not real. This is another thing he has a go at me about. It’s something I just can’t deal with in anyway and as I said before, it effects me greatly. He says I need to go to the doctors and get help with it, which I agree, but he doesn’t mean it in a supportive way. I just want some advice on how to get him to support me with this rather than him making me feel like I shouldn’t feel this way. I know it may not seem like much of a problem to some, but at the end of the day, this is a genuine fear of mine and I’m being made to feel weak/weird/pathetic by the one person that should be supporting me. I guess I just need to know he’s the one with the problem, not me. Thank you for reading and listening to my crazy selfGrin

OP posts:
Charley1988 · 12/10/2019 20:08

I can totally understand. I'm exactly the same as you. EXACTLY

Fishcakey · 12/10/2019 20:10

Been this way my whole life. It rules my every waking moment. Years of therapy, one child and a life of anti anxiety tablets and anti emetics later it's still as bad but I generally cope. You can do this. There are lots of us xxxxxxxxcc

Original poster
Lolly122 · 12/10/2019 20:10

It’s horrible isn’t it. I know it’s a natural thing but I just can’t help it

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 12/10/2019 20:10

It's called Emetophobia, which is a profound fear of vomit/vomitting. It is very common and your partner needs to educate himself.

Original poster
Lolly122 · 12/10/2019 20:11

Me too. I avoid going places where people may be sick, theme parks, long journeys etc. It’s horrible and feel like it’s ruining my life to a certain extent

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 12/10/2019 20:11

I would seek help if you can
vomit is unpleasant.but.worse.for the person who is unwell and if you have children you need.to look after them.

Fishcakey · 12/10/2019 20:11

It's bloody awful. People can avoid heights, they can avoid snakes etc. We can't avoid the threat of someone being sick (or even worse ourselves).

FourteenCows · 12/10/2019 20:12

I have emetophobia too and it’s an absolute nightmare. I react the same way as you and have a plan for if my husband is ever sick as I can’t be in the house if he is. It’s a surprisingly common phobia.

I find that people are less than sympathetic and I usually get “well nobody likes sick” no but does everyone have extreme panic attacks around it? Hmm

Cosyjimjamsforautumn · 12/10/2019 20:12

I have this (emetophobia). Having DC helped a bit as i was faced with puky kids and i had to help them feel better. But still cant stand the sound of choking or vomit. Hypnotherapy is meant to help but not tried it myself. Hoping other PP will help you realise you are not alone in this fear Flowers

pastaparadise · 12/10/2019 20:13

You're not weird at all. Its a well recognised and quite common phobia - emetophobia. Look it up online and there's lots of info. David Veale is a psychiatrist who has a good website on it.

Dont feel bad about it but do seek treatment. CBT is recommended treatment. Try to access through your gp as it's very treatable and ignore your partner

TokyoSushi · 12/10/2019 20:14

Yep, it's Emetophobia, I have it.

Its OK with my own DC, but anybody else I go into a blind panic and literally cannot cope at all.

bloodywhitecat · 12/10/2019 20:14

I was emetophobic for most of my life until I had successful CBT and psychotherapy about 10 years ago. I was driven to seek treatment when I became a virtual recluse one Christmas when norovirus was particularly rife in my area. It is a very common phobia.

june2007 · 12/10/2019 20:14

No but it,s something you have to deal with as a parent so just have to lump it. (Sorry if not very sympathet.)

Original poster
Lolly122 · 12/10/2019 20:15

Thanks for all the replies. It such a difficult phobia as like someone further up said, you just can’t escape it. I’m very picky with food too, obsessively checking dates, checking meat to see if it’s cooked. This is another thing he has ago at me about

OP posts:
Charley1988 · 12/10/2019 20:17

When my ex partner once shouted 'bowl!!' as an imminent indicator of likely sickness I spontaneously broke the world 100m record......

Original poster
Lolly122 · 12/10/2019 20:18

Hahaha charley1988, definitely sounds like meGrin

OP posts:
BayandBlonde · 12/10/2019 20:21

I've never heard of this but it sounds crap, sorry OP

This is genuine question, how do you react when you're sick yourself?

bloodywhitecat · 12/10/2019 20:23

No but it,s something you have to deal with as a parent so just have to lump it. (Sorry if not very sympathet.)

I have a 29 year old daughter who won't get pregnant as her emetophobia is so severe.

Original poster
Lolly122 · 12/10/2019 20:25

@BayandBlonde If I start to feel sick, I convince myself that I’m going to be sick. I start sweating and shaking and find myself going to the back door just standing there. I can’t really describe the feeling, I suppose it’s just the feeling of fear. I won’t be able to sleep all night in the fear of being sick. And if I am sick all I’ll do is cry and pray it doesn’t happen again. Surprisingly I very rarely am sickHmm

OP posts:
CamembertIt · 12/10/2019 20:27

Same phobia here. It's awful. Really good to hear some of you have managed to recover. Would love to know more about treatment - if anyone who's had successfully therapy would be willing to PM me, that'd be really appreciated.

bloodywhitecat · 12/10/2019 20:27

This is genuine question, how do you react when you're sick yourself?

For me I didn't, I would starve myself for days on end taking only sips of boiled water if I knew there was a vomiting bug in the area. Lots of emetophobes are so scared they manage to not be sick even if they feel sick

WhiteVixen · 12/10/2019 20:28

What else does he ‘have a go at you’ about? He doesn’t really sound very nice. People have phobias of all sorts of things, it’s not like you’re doing it on purpose.
I wouldn’t be trying to work out how to get him to be more supportive of you. I’d be working out how to bin him off. He won’t change.

GrapefruitGin · 12/10/2019 20:30

I know someone who had this too - CBT really helped. Make an appt with your GP and ask for a referral, alternatively there are lots of private therapists if you can afford it.

Original poster
Lolly122 · 12/10/2019 20:33

I feel like I’m going mad with him sometimes. I obsess over if he’s looking pale or if he says he has stomach ache. I start questioning him “are you going to be sick” “are you ok” but I can’t help it. I guess it must be a little annoying for him, but I suppose I just want a little reassurance off him and for him to say sometimes “yes I’m fine, don’t worry” rather than the usual “don’t start”

OP posts:
Lauren83 · 12/10/2019 20:34

I also have it, spent thousands on therapy for it it's a horrible phobia to have and people don't realise just how bad it is to live with. I couldn't go on school trips when I was young, have slept in the garage when someone's felt sick, ran out barefoot in the snow in the night. I didn't go on holiday for 15 years either as couldn't face the flight

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