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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you don't just keep ringing the doorbell if no one answers?

154 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 11/10/2019 20:10

I'm at home, was putting my two small children to bed. Ive been really under the weather all week, so we all had a bath, got in pjs and were going to bed. My doorbell rang. I ignored it (2 yr old not quite asleep and would have got up and fully woken up if I'd gone downstairs). It's cold, dark, and I was in my nightshirt. The doorbell continued to be ring repeatedly. It's really quite loud. I went downstairs and unplugged it in the end.

Surely if the house is in almost total darkness and there's no response, you stop? Everyone along the road (rural, about 7 houses) knows I have young children and it was 7.30pm, bedtime.

Aibu to think give up after a couple of goes??

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 11/10/2019 21:17

I also don't understand MNers' aversion to answering the doorbell. Do you not shop online? I'd miss so much post if I didn't answer the door! Confused

I don’t understand comments like this. Surely if you’ve ordered something to be delivered to your door, you are by definition expecting someone to come to your door? Therefore not relevant to the topic of the doorbell ringing unexpectedly?

Nannewnannew · 11/10/2019 21:20

My neighbours never answered their door when I went round with parcels that had been left with me. I found it very annoying to be honest. I used to leave their parcel on the doorstep and if someone stole it-well, tough!
My closest friend never answers her door or the telephone, very odd behaviour. I’m just too nosey to not answer. I also cannot understand the reluctance to answer the door because “it’s just me here with the dc” 🤷🏼‍♀️

kayakingmum · 11/10/2019 21:20

There are two occasions I can think of when I rang a doorbell in the evening when I know the person was in and they wouldn't answer -

Once when the metal gate to my home was frozen shut so I hoped for some hot water from a neighbour for help. The other (different house) when I noticed house keys were left in the front door.

Maybe it's a recent thing people not answering front doors but he/she may have needed your help or wanted to help you. You will never know.

hammeringinmyhead · 11/10/2019 21:21

I don't answer the door when I'm home alone, with my DS, in my nightwear either. Especially not after dark. We're on the route between the town centre and suburbs so on Friday nights all the foot traffic is merry people weaving about.

Sparklingbrook · 11/10/2019 21:21

One of my favourite times when the doorbell rang unexpectedly was when my neighbour's daughter was standing there with a bowl of homemade cheesecake for me. Grin

Buttons4me · 11/10/2019 21:23

Yanbu I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting a delivery. I get a lot of knocks sometimes hammering on my door even on my front living room window for the neighbour who always seems to order stuff but is never in.

Livpool · 11/10/2019 21:23

It is only in Mumsnet where people don't answer the door (although your circumstances made it difficult for you to answer).

I don't get it

Hedgehogblues · 11/10/2019 21:24

No one should be ringing your doorbell unless you are expecting them

This is such an odd approach to life

hammeringinmyhead · 11/10/2019 21:26

Why? I don't know my neighbours beyond a nod and my family are 250 miles away so if I haven't ordered anything online it's normally charity collectors, religion-based visits or people who want the same house no on the next road.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 11/10/2019 21:27

Maybe it's a recent thing people not answering front doors but he/she may have needed your help or wanted to help you. You will never know.

I’m sure the OP will live.

Sparrowlegs248 · 11/10/2019 21:27

I do normally answer the door. The significance of it being just me and the DC, is that I couldn't go out to help anyone. I wouldn't be inviting anyone in mid bedtime, they are both tired, cranky, and full of cold. 2 yr old had stopped screaming, briefly. I feel like shit and was in a nightshirt. I knew it wasn't a parcel, or a family member, or a friend. I don't really care who it was, I just wished they'd stop bloody ringing and bugger off. And not leave my doorbell hanging off. I don't know if it's broken, I'll check tomorrow

OP posts:
ChevalierTialys · 11/10/2019 21:33

If someone kept ringing and ringing the bell, I'd assume something is wrong and answer it. But I'd keep the chain on so whomever it is couldn't push the door open.

AfterSchoolWorry · 11/10/2019 21:35

Hopefully it was nothing other than an annoyance.

I answered the door today with hair colour on my head and eyebrows. I looked crazy with black splodges for eyebrows and plastic gloves.

The bloke was selling an electricity service I'm already signed up to and carried on with his spiel while dribbles of black liquid ran down my ears and neck! 😝

BertrandRussell · 11/10/2019 21:35

I think your doorbell has fainted, OP.....

AutumnRose1 · 11/10/2019 21:35

"It is only in Mumsnet where people don't answer the door"

Um, MN posters are real people!

I was raised not to answer the door. I know loads of people who don't answer the door.

OooErMissus · 11/10/2019 21:39

I was raised not to answer the door. I know loads of people who don't answer the door.

'Raised not to answer the door'?! What the....?

Mumsnet, as ever, is a window into another world. Confused

Sparklingbrook · 11/10/2019 21:40

I don't think I got any door opening advice growing up, but my parents always answer the door.

Quaffy · 11/10/2019 21:41

I have never once answered the door to an unexpected knock and been pleased I did it.

Artesia · 11/10/2019 21:42

Nobody needs to descend upon my doorstep at that time.

I had to go back and reread the OP. It was 7.30pm, not 3am. Confused

AutumnRose1 · 11/10/2019 21:43

Sorry, that was too short!

Mum taught us not to answer the door immediately. To always check to see who it was, if we knew them etc. If she didn't recognise them, she'd just ignore them.

If she looks and sees a neighbour, that's fine. I don't even look. If a neighbour who knows me needs me, they'll text first. If they've chopped their thumb off and need me to go to A&E with them, then I will hear them speaking through the door of my rabbit hutch sized flat anyway.

xdestarx · 11/10/2019 21:45

As a former delivery driver, I have been stood ringing a door while I can see the family sat in the living room ignoring me, infuriating when I was trying to do my job!

But if you're not expecting anything then I imagine it was a cold caller anyway, have had virgin twice in 2 weeks!

JonnyPocketRocket · 11/10/2019 21:48

Surely if you’ve ordered something to be delivered to your door, you are by definition expecting someone to come to your door? Therefore not relevant to the topic of the doorbell ringing unexpectedly?

Fair enough. I buy a lot of stuff from EBay and other online sellers that use Royal Mail to deliver, so you don't necessarily know exactly when it'll be delivered. Might be today, might be tomorrow, or the next day 🤷🏼‍♀️

StillCoughingandLaughing · 11/10/2019 21:48

As a former delivery driver, I have been stood ringing a door while I can see the family sat in the living room ignoring me, infuriating when I was trying to do my job!

But it’s THEIR doorbell. THEY don’t owe YOU anything.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 11/10/2019 21:50

Fair enough. I buy a lot of stuff from EBay and other online sellers that use Royal Mail to deliver, so you don't necessarily know exactly when it'll be delivered. Might be today, might be tomorrow, or the next day 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well presumably if you’re doing all this mail order and eBay shopping, answering the door isn’t an issue for you - and if it was, you wouldn’t do it?

category12 · 11/10/2019 21:51

But if they ordered the parcel, surely they bloody want it? Why would you sit and ignore the delivery driver of your own damned parcel?