To ask what sanctions / tips you use if you have 3 boys!?

[rain2810]

We all know boys can be a handful, especially if you have 3 or more!
Looking for tips on behaviour and what sanctions / consequences you use with them?

Do boys need different sanctions to girls? Are only boys a “handful”?

@Jeezoh No, just from my own experience

Same as I would use with girls.

No TV, no electronics, depending on severity of issue one ds was stopped from coming to the cinema last week.

I hve 3 boys, tbh I don’t really need to use sanctions, they are pretty easy going.

What do you mean? Three children are a handful tbh regardless of being girl or boy. I have three boys and don't find their behaviour too bad. I have to be strict about screen time though

It's down to personality, not whether someone is a boy or a girl.

Older DS used to be very easy to bribe motivated by rewards; basically whatever pocket money collectible of the week was fashionable.

I had to get a lot more strategic with younger DS; he has to really want to do something (or stop doing something) - no amount of reward or punishment will be persuade him otherwise.

There are some differences between girls and boys believe it or not! Although every child is unique.

My tactic is to head off any behaviour so I can avoid sanctions until I really need them. At the weekend I give them a real wear out in the morning with a walk or bike ride or something. The more physically tired they are the better they behave. I make sure their meals are big but balanced.

If things go south I shorten their TV time or start moving their bedtime earlier by ten minutes.

@QueenOfToast I guess I'm after advice from what you have said. My older two are like yours and I'm struggling with the second one in particular (who isn't really affected if I take things away).

I realise all children are different and it's down to personality. I just wanted to ask for some advice in a lighthearted way.

Thank you @Peachypips78 you knew what I meant!

@rain2810 I found the book "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" to be very useful. You have to be 100% consistent, don't escalate punishments too quickly and don't threaten (or offer) anything that you're not prepared to follow through on.

All the insight into successful communicating can be applied in adult situations too, so can used with tricky work colleagues or even persuading DH that he does want to go on a surfing holiday to Cornwall!

My 3 boys respond brilliantly to clear expectations, consistency and exercise. I’m sure if they were girls it would be the same! Also, yes, how to talk so kids will listen is great. Mine have been very easy though and I am fortunate that they don’t get physical with each other (as I used to with my brothers!).
If you like tips, I highly recommend Jordan Page on YouTube (FunCheap or free). Her clipboard system is awesome and our three love it!

Lots of food, lots of exercise, lots of time in, a little bit of time out, all the stickers, reward chart, occasional bribes, and making everything into a game.

I use "silly" discipline, like making Them hop on one leg five times because they did something naughty, which just lightens the mood and takes the power out of it.

My boys are pretty mellow so I don't find it a thing. I talk to them usually or at very worst an x-box ban but that's rarely necessary.

My boys are fine, even in teen years, they respond well to kindness, lots of praise and giving responsibility such as helping with jobs etc. I don't like this idea about boys being a 'handful' to be honest.

I think a lot of "boy moms" build a rod for their own back in the early toddler/preschool years, letting little boys control and terrorize the household in a way they wouldn't even consider allowing a little girl, all in the name of not shutting down their total and complete freedom.

I've seen women who talk a lot about how mischievous boys are whose response to their 2-3 year olds emptying the fridge or coloring on the walls was to laugh about it and photograph it. Boys are often told their misbehavior is either expected, or actually cute. When they start physically fighting their brothers, it's treated like an inevitability instead of met with immediate consequences.

Then suddenly there's a house full of preteens and teenagers quickly outgrowing their mother and cursing her out or even hitting her when she tries to finally come down on their behavior. It's not so cute then.

I only mention this because the kind of thinking in the OP about how boys are automatically a handful is exactly how this pattern starts. Not every boy raised with moms who think "boys will be boys" will turn out to be difficult (some kids are just naturally well-behaved and would probably have thrived in any environment), but for a lot of children, being allowed to get away with more on account of their sex in early life translates to a lifelong pattern of entitlement and demand avoidance.

I only have 2. Personally, I don't think it really matters what the sanction is but it must be applied absolutely completely consistently. If you do that you don't have to use it very often. No letting it go "just this once" because you've had a hard day and can't face the fallout.

As they got older I used "thinking time". Where they had a few minutes to think about what they'd done and why, then they had to explain it to me. I didn't often find out why but the process made them so uncomfortable they did what they could to avoid it.

I also found, that during "phases" of poor behaviour they were actually telling me they were ready for more responsibility and if I gave it to them, the behaviour settled down.

Too much screen time was very detrimental to behaviour, regardless of what they were watching/playing.

No Xbox, no tv, no phones, wi-fi switched off, and missing a football match have been recent punishments for teen bad behaviour (disrespect).
I’m strict on bed times as I find teen sulkiness / grumpiness increases with tiredness.

How old are they?

My three boys are pretty easy going.
But I'd use the same sanctions as my dbro who has girls...
Removing phone and play station. Extra chores,

I’ve only ever really needed sanctions with one of my dc and I’ve found removing items or grounding them the most effective. My other dc have always been very well behaved apart from the usual sibling arguing and being untidy at times.
All dc are boys and I’d never have described them as a handful even when they were little and neither would anyone else who has looked after them. I fucking hate this attitude towards boys

My boys (I have 5) have energy with a capital E. I agree that a good walk calms them down and stops them destroying the house. We just stand in front of the house and they take it in turns to pick which direction we go in.