To ask what sanctions / tips you use if you have 3 boys!?

[rain2810]

We all know boys can be a handful, especially if you have 3 or more!
Looking for tips on behaviour and what sanctions / consequences you use with them?

I think that it’s incredibly important to instil the idea of consent into children from the very beginning. Boys are often encouraged to be very physical with each other, and to disregard/override requests to stop. Men often play with boys like this as well. If they are shown from an early age how important it is to be sensitive and aware of other people’s needs then maybe society will start to shift.

Internet access works
Docked pocket money works
Reduced roast potato 'ration' works
Mum's taxi service striking works

Prevention:
Lots of exercise
Pre-warning about transitions/ expectations
Control screen time
Keep them fed and not hangry/ thirsty
Clear boundaries and consequences... sometimes easier said than done!

Consequences
DS1 tends to need "resetting" in a quiet space, possibly food/ drink. I will deal with him when he is calm and rational.
DS2 tends to react well to counting down (this can stress DS1)
Reduction of "tech time" in installments
Natural consequences when appropriate.

It's not easy when siblings are playing off eachother though!

I have a daughter and three sons. They all respond to different things however the basics for me with all of them are for me and DH to be
Consistent, think about what you are saying can you really follow through with banning Christmas for example.
Calm, don't let your own feelings get the better of you. Try not to respond to situations while your angry.
Considerate, some things that seem incredibly trivial to adults mean such a lot to children. Try not to minimise their feelings, acknowledge them. With older children try to reach compromises.

I have 3 children, 2 are boys.

Honestly I've never had to impose sanctions. I've never got further than my cross voice.

I've got a background in education and have read a fair bit of child psychology and is fairly well established that punishment doesn't work. The parents who list the punishments they regularly use are the parents regularly having to punish, which indicates it's not working!

I remember having a difficult phase with dc1 when he was 6, when it took me too long t realise he was actually really worried and anxious and being "defiant" because he was internally terrified of things. Realising that allowed me to change how we organised things and he went back to being well behaved and mellow.

My children are aged from 14 down to 8, they need firm boundaries and to know that parents have the last word, but they also need to be listened to and know that they are heard.

They also need to be outdoors for a couple of hours a day.

I still go upstairs, read to the 12 and 8 year olds (even though they're good readers and read different books to themselves), put them to bed and listen/ chat to each child seperately - I think this is important.

I only had one boy, and he wasn't a handful at all after age 5 months! But I've had lots to do with children in general. They generally want to win your love with their behaviour - and then if they can't, they will try to win your attention with misbehaviour.

So don't label them, just repeat the mantra 'bad behaviour is communication' (because all behaviour is communication) and try to see what is being communicated.

Big up the good, ignore the bad, except for 'natural consequences' (so if they trash their phone, no phone replacement). See how you go.

my 3 boys are pretty easy going. i do find if they are pretty hyped up and really wanting to wrestle ect we go for a walk to the beach or park and let them burn off steam. i also use things like playdoh, baking ect to be able to pre occupy them for a little while while also spending time with them. however they do play up like every child does and i take away any electronics and send them to their bed until they have calmed down or until i feel they have realised that they cant be involved with whats happening in the home until they can behave appropriately. i count my blessings that my boys are better behaved than some.

@Anothernotherone i second your post. each child needs to be listened to and shown attention. they need to know that they are loved and wanted and valued.

At wkend have to do chores to earn computer time and if they do computer first then that still have to do the chores.

Restricting Wifi, reducing TV time & docking pocket money. Not always successful but best I had with the older boys. Putting the younger 2 boys on the stairs (time out) could be effective.

The girl & the Youngest boy (mostly) just need a stern talking to. They actually care about our feelings.