To be disappointed that DS 13 has been allocated to share with "difficult " DC on school trip

[rookiemere]

DS13 was really looking forward to school trip. He is an only DC and loves company. He was looking forward to sharing with his friend, but instead was asked by the coach to share with boy who has picked a number of fights and is close to expulsion.

I know why they've picked DS- he is fairly level headed and can be reasonably kind. A similar thing happened on a primary trip. I'm just a bit annoyed and disappointed for him, it's a tricky age and his friends are probably more popular than he is and I worry that by being in with this lad DS could be excluded as well. Also feel we paid a lot of money for the trip so why shouldn't DS be able to fully enjoy it with his pals.

I was thinking along the lines of why should another student have the responsibility & not an adult, but obviously didn't think far enough

No problem.

I agree with your though - it's a bit unfair for another child to have to put up with the workie-ticket!

If they've taken input from students then they've done their best to allocate rooms and you can't always get what you want.

We've had rooms of 2-6 on various trips I've done. There's no keeping everyone happy.

I'm normally first to say that badly behaved students should have a question mark on trips, however I can entirely see why this child is going on the trip. I've seen many a student really struggle in school and formal education but thrive in drama or sport etc. The discipline of the enrichment is really positive for them (and often they don't want to jeopardize it). I wouldn't think this is the coach expecting your child to babysit or police this boys behaviour. For a start, nobody other than SLT will know how far away from exclusion a child is, and secondly he isn't being excluded and if he's doing well in his sport then why shouldn't he have the opportunity?

I think you've been brilliant OP.

I wouldn't try to intervene in a situation where you son has independently decided to make the most of a potential disappointment. If it turns out better than expected, perhaps he will have helped make a difference in the other boy's school experience, which would be a great thing, but either way, you can let your son know you appreciate his maturity and give him the recognition for that when he gets back. If your son does feel he's missed out, acknowledge it was a shame, encourage him to remember the good bits of the trip and see if there's something fun you can do to make up for it. It's not a bad thing to be able to put yourself out for other people from time to time, so props to your boy.

Thanks lolasmiles I just hope he's having an ok time.

You may be surprised. On one enrichment trip we had to share a room with a girl known for being disruptive in school. Id never had an issue with her but we didn't have much in common in school. It was actually a really nice trip and whilst we didn't become friends, we got on a bit more after. She just didn't like school that much but loved music and drama.

If children aren't behaving, I don't believe they should be brought on these types of trips. The teachers or coaches don't need the additional pressure.

If the child has behaviour linked to a disability, then it would be discrimination to exclude them. We have the issue with a child at school that wants to go on an (optional) overseas trip. He throws tantrums, will run away if asked to do something he doesn't want to do, and has various other issues. School has no choice but to take him if he wants to go (we are subtely trying to get through to mum, but she doesn't believe he has any concerns). Staff going on the trip are very worried about being responsible for this child in a foreign environment.

So an update from the trip as just picked up DS and a bag of sodden laundry .

He had a good time, he said he would have had a slightly better time if he wasn't sharing with X, but actually sounds like he hung out with a number of different boys and had he been in with his pal, they would probably have stuck together rather than mixing, so all good.

Thanks for the input - interesting to get the range of different thoughts on this.

Pleased he had a good time. Getting on with people is a great skill.

I wouldn't contact anyone about this, I am sure your son will cope with all things on this trip. Its good for children to all mix together,no matter what you think about the other boy. I am sure the adults will be in control with all things.