Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Another child threatening to make Ds perform sexual act on him

78 replies

MyMyMy19 · 09/10/2019 21:09

Not AIBU but really need some advice!!
Ds aged 9 came home crying today after school as a boy who is 10 at his school has today threatened to beat DS up tomorrow and then make him "suck his c@@@"
I am disgusted, shocked ,upset as is obviously my DS. He doesnt want to go to school and is quite frankly scared of this boy.
What am I to do?
It was too late in the evening for me to contact the school when I found out so tomorrow morning is the first time I'll be able to speak to anyone about this.
I'm rightly very upset and angry and am trying to think what to do best for my Ds but where do I start?

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 10/10/2019 00:42

MyMyMy19 this is horrible. So sorry. Lots of good advice from most quarters. Follow the advice to speak to school and keep your son safe.

UnoriginalUserName948 · 10/10/2019 00:50

jimmyhill it is, however, indicative of deeper problems in this boys life. I hope it was said parroting something from TV- that is the best case scenario. On the off-chance that has more sinister origins, it must be looked into by people trained to do that.

caringcarer · 10/10/2019 00:57

March in with son first thing tomorrow morning and refuse to leave until head has seen you both. Have your complaint set out in writing and also write to the governors. I would be wanting matter resolved before son rejoins school.

Italiangreyhound · 10/10/2019 01:00

jimmyhill you've no way of knowing what exactly was meant by that phrase or it's use. Threats need to be taken seriously.

BillHadersNewWife · 10/10/2019 02:44

Jimmy the boy didn't say "Suck my cock" he said he was going to make OP's DS suck his cock tomorrow.

Not the same at all.

Fucket · 10/10/2019 03:03

i would take it very seriously, knowing what I know can happen to kids even in reception class by their peers. Too many young children exposed to inappropriate adult content on devices or children being abused at home.

Making a threat to another child that they are going to force them to suck dick doesn’t sound like an off the cuff remark.

Report it to the school and social services and inform both school and social services you intend to involve the police if any more threats of a violent sexual nature are made towards your child.

GooGoo52 · 10/10/2019 03:18

Firstly, what situation occurred to make the other child say this? Also, did your child tell anyone at school? All these people jumping to conclusions that your child is being "bullied"... This is a single act of nastiness, yes, but it is presumably not a repeat offence, or you wouldn't be on here asking for advice.

Tvstar · 10/10/2019 03:26

Are you not worried about the threat to beat him up? If you are not worried that that will come to pass, why are you worried that the second bit will?

BillHadersNewWife · 10/10/2019 06:14

Tvstar why would you assume OP isn't worried about her son getting beaten up?

She hasn't said that.

She's said a boy who is 10 at his school has today threatened to beat DS up tomorrow and then make him "suck his c@@@

Which is her saying what happened. Then she says
I am disgusted, shocked ,upset as is obviously my DS. He doesnt want to go to school and is quite frankly scared of this boy.

Which is her saying she's worried about it all...you're being weird.

Thehop · 10/10/2019 06:19

Good luck this morning

OneOfTheGrundys · 10/10/2019 06:21

Safeguarding lead, urgent, today.
NEVER APPROACH THE PARENT.
(16 years of twice yearly safeguarding training here).

OneOfTheGrundys · 10/10/2019 06:21

And yes, good luck.

timeforachange123 · 10/10/2019 06:47

Pretty sure some will say I'm over reacting but just imagine if this threat actually took place today. Look at the James Bulger murderers, I think they were around age 10.
I'd personally phone the police, the ten year old has reached the age of criminal responsibility

Bellringer · 10/10/2019 07:19

Not sensible to speculate on this slim info. V sensible to report to school and for them to take appropriate steps. If they don't protect your dc then you can escalate. Agree with others that adequate plans are made or don't take dc to school pending enquiries.

FrancisCrawford · 10/10/2019 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Longlongsummer · 10/10/2019 09:43

@GooGoo52 bullying can be a single act. Which would cause the victim to be fearful in an ongoing basis. This isn’t a stranger on the street.

Longlongsummer · 10/10/2019 09:46

@Fucket it’s awful isn’t it. I used to let my older boy play outside on the green but after hearing some of the ‘banter’ which was quite sinister we stopped. I used to think it’s great kids have freedom however more and more I do think kids need close supervision for a lot longer than we think, and any incidents need taken seriously.

LoyaltyBonus · 10/10/2019 19:44

What happened today OP?

Pud2 · 10/10/2019 22:02

Have your complaint set out in writing and also write to the governors. I would be wanting matter resolved before son rejoins school.

Governors have no involvement in operational matters. They would only possibly become involved as part of the complaints procedure and that would only be if you made a formal complaint about a member of staff.

Missingsandraohingreys · 10/10/2019 22:05

This is very serious
And the school will take it seriously
I would if possible keep him off for a day AE he gets the message you take it seriously

It’s feasible this child is being exposed to inappropriate behaviour himself

This will get adressed

Mummyshark2019 · 10/10/2019 22:29

How did it go OP? What did the Head teacher say?

TwoPupsandaHamster · 11/10/2019 18:21

No response from OP then.... I sincerely hope OP isn't of the hairy handed variety.... This isn't a topic to be taken lightly. I know 4 year old children, who have acted out the sexual abuse they have experienced - on other 4 year old (and younger) children!

twoshedsjackson · 11/10/2019 19:00

MyMyMy19, I hope your meeting with the head went well. It's small consolation until things are resolved, but your DS knows that you take him seriously, and have his back.
If you feel they have fobbed you off previously, you may be surprised how the use of the term "safeguarding" can galvanize.....I agree with other posters about beginning an email trail, no need to hint yet that the next step will be addressing the matter with school governors.
Check the school website for their anti-bullying policy; are they living up to their fine principles?
Even if it's "only" bullying, that's quite bad enough.
But for all you know, you are adding information to their concerns about the other boy; that of course, will be confidential. At the very least, he has been exposed to inappropriate language, and something is driving him to speak and behave unpleasantly.

Lifeisabeach09 · 11/10/2019 19:23

In my view there’s a difference between an offhand “suck my dick”; and what’s been said here, which is “I’m going to beat you up and make you suck my dick”.

^^This.

10 year olds do commit acts of sexual violence (Jamie Bulger, anyone?!) so, yep, you are quite right to highlight it and get it addressed by the school. I'd send an email stating all the details now and request a follow up from the head on Monday.

Italiangreyhound · 12/10/2019 09:58

@MyMyMy19 how did it go. I hope things are sorted.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread