if the Queen, came to visit 5 munutes notice (or headteacher on home visit, posh mil etc)

[mumwon]

to rephrase other topic! & this is light hearted & hopefully not offensive

I would treat them the same as any guest, in that, I would ask then in if I didn't have other plans.

I'd have a quick tidy up in the living room.
For example remove the gigantic Tigger that is currently sat on one of the armchairs.
And I'd put the kettle on.

Five minutes? I'd need at least five weeks'

I'd have to hide and pretend to be out.

Headteacher is fab, she wouldn’t care.

I’m far posher than MIL, she thinks I’m a clean freak so no problem there.

HMQ.. well her daughter Princess Margaret used to pop in unexpectedly in the 1960’s to see my Dad, she was fine with the house so only can assume her mother would be the same.

What was wrong with the other thread? It was light hearted and I can still see it so I dont think it's been removed.

Dobby, you've rather aged the poor old Queen. Margaret was her sister, not her daughter!

I’d hoover up the worst of the dog fur, put the kettle on, and make some little jam sandwiches - according to a former royal chef, the Queen is partial to a jam sandwich cut into a little circle - jam pennies, they are called.

I would hope that having the jam sandwiches ready would make up for my complete lack of any biscuits to go with the Earl Grey.

I'd invite them for coffee in the restaurant up the road.

I'd probably have to hide all the skulls.

The Queen loves dogs and horses so I would distract her from the house with them!

They’d just have to excuse the mess

I have a cleaner and my dd is now grown up with her own place. Queen is welcome anytime! I'd prefer a days notice so I could get her some good biscuits.

Back when dd was small though... I'd have pretended to be out

I’d hand her a paintbrush and not let her out until she’d finished at least one room.

I’d probably ask a neighbour to use they’re house and pretend it’s mine...I’d never be able to tidy my house in 5 mins 😂

I’d make sure the kettle was full, whip the hoover around and make sure I’ve remembered to put my boobs (AKA leaking udders) away properly before I answer the door

I’d say no chuggers thanks mate, get a job, and shut the door firmly.

My home, my castle - and I'm the Queen of it

I actually had this happen on Tuesday! (Head, not the queen). Slightly more notice but I got changed, opened the windows to let clean air in, stuck on an aromatherapy diffuser and frantically ran around tidying up crap from around the house. I was lucky I'd cleaned the entire house only the day before but as I have 4 kids it doesn't stay lovely long! A good tip (that I didn't use this time) is to spray polish in the air to give it that 'just cleaned' fragrance. I'd say prioritise rooms they would definitely go in, chuck rubbish into rooms they definitely won't go in and shut the door! Check toilets (boys..urgggh!).

Hoover up,spray some polish about,tidy up

I'd be fine if it was the Queen. My house is clean and tidy and I've got some bone china cups and saucers that I've saved for best since we got married, so I'd give them a quick dust off. I've got DS1's pass out photo on the wall in our front room, she has a lot to do with his regiment, so we'd have something to talk about straight away.

The house is usually passable - two old women resident, no pets. But it it was the Queen I'd need to read up on etiquette.

Clean the loo, wipe the sides and whizz the hoover round. Other than that we go for the lived in look here. I'm not putting the kids toys away, they'll be necessary for 5 mins of distraction!

Five minutes? I'd need at least five weeks

I'd have to hide and pretend to be out.

Me too. Not to mention trying to figure out what to do about the couch (now unused) that the cat has repeatedly peed on. I only let one nonjudgemental friend in my house.

I’d hope she’d come to the front door rather than the back one as then we could come straight into the living room rather than go through the kitchen. The cat is in here in a crate as she’s on cage rest after an accident so that would make an interesting discussion point.

Judging by a quick scope of my living room, I would hide my bra! I debated hiding my teddies but it would be a good focal point.