To wish dh would stop saying "ah but you never know" wrt a third child?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

I'm done having kids. Completely 100% done. Dc are 5 and 8. I've never been all that broody - found the pregnancies hard though enjoyed the births. As my dc grow I get more and more enjoyment out of them and happier to move away from the baby/toddler phase.

Dh knows I am done. In a conversation about more long term contraception he did say "ah but you never know". He seems to think that if we won the lottery (for example) that we would have more dc.

We won't. Or certainly, I won't. I've made it clear to dh that I will never have another pregnancy or want to go back to having a baby. I would never push him to getting the snip- especially as he is obviously not as 100% as I am.

I suggested that I would look into getting my tubes tide. Again, "ah but you never know, one day you may just think right, I want another".

I don't!!!! Rarrrrrr. I have even explicitly said "if you want another that badly then you will have to leave me and find someone else who wants a baby".

Totally reasonable to keep his options open if he wants more children. It may well need to be with a new partner

I had a third after a big gap. But while for many years I believed I wouldn’t have another child, I never actually said never. And that is very different from what you are saying OP.

I believe you.

Does he come from a big family? Many people seem to want to emulate their own childhoods somehow .If you are clear in your mind and are happy with 2 ,then I think that is fair enough! Men often like a large family ,except they dont have to do the hard bits as my Mum used to say! Maybe avoid the subject ,and speak to the Doctor about your options .Plan lots of activities so your DH sees you all having fun and how a new LO would change the dynamics !

It’s absolutely disgusting that a woman is not trusted to know how she feels about her own body and mind with regards to conceiving and carrying a child.

I was sterilised at 27, 6 months after the birth of my second child. It was 20 years ago and I didn’t face much opposition. The doctor asked what would happen if I “changed my mind”. I pointed out that as the whole point was that it was permanent, it would be pointless changing my mind after the fact 🤦‍♀️. He also asked the stupid what if I lost one question. I gave some flip answer about replacing it with a pony or something.

If my husband had wanted another child, he was welcome to go and find someone else to have one with (he didn’t, but I was happy to be sterilised as I didn’t want to limit his future choices if circumstances changed). If by some bizarre chance I’d ever decided I’d wanted another child, I still wouldn’t have ever wanted another pregnancy so it made sense for me to take the permanent solution.

OP, I don’t understand why you aren’t just getting it done. What are you actually waiting for? It’s your body and your decision ultimately.

I have two childless by choice friends who have both repeatedly been denied sterilisation by patronising doctors.
Both now late 40s. Never wavered in their choice. One eventually got her wish late 30s and the other had to have a hysterectomy for health issues and was delighted it solved the problem.
Another friend insisted on tubes tied at 28 after her baby. She knew she was "one and done" and fortunately her doctor respected her autonomy. She's 50, never had a moment's doubt.
My OH had the snip when I was 28. Nobody questioned him. It was a choice we made together but no doctor asked for my consent. He was free to do as he pleased.

Try having one child and having the bare faced cheek to suggest you won't have another. People point blank refuse to believe it. Even worse now I've been in a relationship a while, so obviously I HAVE to give the poor man a baby .

Dd is 10. I am not changing my mind

Mine are 4 and 6 and like you I'm totally done.
Luckily husband feels the same way.