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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that these are NOT reasonable disruptions?

48 replies

SpiderCharlotte · 08/10/2019 12:46

This is a bit long. My mum and dad live in a small village next to the village hall. They've lived there for almost 20 years (I lived there too for a short time). They've always said that they expected a certain degree of disruption/inconvenience living next door to a village hall and it's never been a big deal. Occasionally parking can be an issue, but they either wait until the person to move the car blocking their drive or go next door and politely ask them to move until they get their car out. It's never been an issue as when it comes down to it, most people are pretty reasonable. There are kids birthday parties most weekends, doesn't bother mum and dad as they're during the day and they always so they like to hear the little ones playing anyway. An occasional party at night - always finishes by 11 so, again, no issue there.

The hall had some renovations done last year, which require planning permission. A couple of things were not ideal (repositioning of the main door) but mum and dad did not object as they see it as a two-way relationship between them and the village hall committee and relations have always been good. I'm mentioning all this for context.

However, over the last few months there have been several occasions when issues have cropped up that I really don't think are acceptable and nor do they and it's beginning to cause them some upset. Normally, if there was a party like an 18th/21st, the committee would give them a heads up just to let them know what was going on - that doesn't happen anymore since they have a new Chair - fine, they don't have to, it was only a courtesy extended by the old Chairperson. There are not many teens in the village so these parties are not normally held by local people.

A few months ago there was a party and all the doors and windows of the hall were left open, disco was blaring out til 2am (this is against the halls rental agreement), there were people outside til then too and sitting on mum and dad's front wall. Dad had gone out and politely asked them not to sit on the wall as he couldn't guarantee how secure it is (it's about 150 years old, as is the house) and he got a mouthful of abuse. This weekend he had to take the dog to the vet as there had been a 21st party and about half a dozen beer bottles had been thrown over their fence and dog had cut her paw on the smashed glass. They have a wooden shed which had scorch marks on it from cigarette ends which had been thrown over the garden wall. I contacted the Chair of the hall to let them know as they've always said to let them know if there are any issues with booking. His exact words were 'What do your parents expect buying a house next to a village hall?' I told him that they expect some disruption at times but that this is beyond that in my view. His response was 'tough' and put the phone down.

My mum and dad are in their 80s now and this is really, really upsetting them. They love their cottage and they don't want to move and I don't think they should have to. So, AIBU to think that the hall committee have a responsibility to the rest of the residents surrounding the hall and that disruptions like these are not reasonable and shouldn't just be accepted? Mum and dad have never caused any issues for the hall committee and now they dread every weekend in case they end up with a garden full of glass and litter on the Sunday morning.

OP posts:
Drpeppered · 08/10/2019 12:49

Your poor parents. Completely not acceptable. You’ve tried the direct approach, it’s not time to report to the council.

KarenWithTheHair · 08/10/2019 12:51

Your poor parents.

If this was happening in my village I’d expect the parish council to become involved since you had no luck with the chair of the hall committee. Could you contact the parish council or attend the next meeting?

Lockheart · 08/10/2019 12:54

The committee might have a new chair, but are there other members of the committee still present who know them and their history? Could your parents speak to them instead of the chair?

NChangeForNoReason · 08/10/2019 12:56

Have u posted about this before?

SpiderCharlotte · 08/10/2019 12:57

Could you contact the parish council or attend the next meeting?

This is next on my list. I'm so pissed off for them. My dad even goes round to the hall and picks up all the fallen fruit from the trees behind the hall so that people don't slip on them and he sweeps the driveway when he does his own.

They're nice people who don't deserve shit like this. My mum said she was quite scared the last time there was a party as it was so loud and she could hear lots of swearing etc outside. There have been a couple of minor things over the years, which I politely mentioned to the Chair and they were dealt with without any problems but the new Chair person doesn't seem to give a shit. Maybe I should just call the Police next time.

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 08/10/2019 12:57

Your parents need to write to the bookings secretary and the chair of the village hall committee, outlining, as you have done, what the issues are. They then need to copy that letter to the council or whoever issues the licences for the hall to be rented out, and ask for the licence to be withdrawn, or get a solicitor to write to the committee of the village hall, explaining that if steps aren't taken to improve matters, then the licensing authority will be contacted and an application made for the licence to be revoked.

This might help with an approach www.thevillagehalls.co.uk/applying-for-a-ten/

ArsenicGreen · 08/10/2019 12:58

This is dreadful. I could cry for your parents. This is anti social behaviour. Perhaps the community police officer could offer some support.

SpiderCharlotte · 08/10/2019 12:58

Have u posted about this before? No, this is the first time, it's a pretty new issue.

OP posts:
Grannybags · 08/10/2019 12:58

I second the suggestion to talk to the Parish Council. I hope they will be able to help your parents.

Hugsgalore · 08/10/2019 13:07

That is awful op. If there are large crowds gathering outside could the police be called?

I think the need to keep evidence of what's happening and maybe go down the anti social route?

Does the hall have an alcohol licence? I'd be looking into this to make sure they are fully within the law here.

Hugsgalore · 08/10/2019 13:09

@NChangeForNoReason there was a very similar post recently but it was a church with Methodists gathering and causing issues and noise.

SpiderCharlotte · 08/10/2019 13:12

Hugsgalore No it doesn't have a licence as they don't have a bar, but they get a temporary licence for special events.

OP posts:
MollyButton · 08/10/2019 13:14

If its that loud and frightening they should call the police. Otherwise they should complain to the Local Council (not the Parish Council who has very few powers) and they should investigate noise levels etc.

BlackCatSleeping · 08/10/2019 13:16

Yes, definitely escalate this issue and keep records of all issues and contact. I feel so sorry for your poor parents.

CTRL · 08/10/2019 13:16

I’m getting De Ja Vu....are you surevyou haven’t posted this before ?

Jupiters · 08/10/2019 13:17

Contacting the licencing team for the local council. They are the ones who issue the TENs.

fancytiles · 08/10/2019 13:20

Next time call the police for sure!

It's antisocial and not on.

BathTangle · 08/10/2019 13:20

YANBU. I am on our village hall committee and we would be horrified at this and do all we can to safeguard our neighbours' privacy/property.

You might start asking searching questions about their insurance policy and how the hall committee/parish council (if they own the hall) will cover the cost of the vet, damage/destruction of the shed etc by hall users.

SpiderCharlotte · 08/10/2019 13:21

I’m getting De Ja Vu....are you surevyou haven’t posted this before ?

I'm certain! Grin I haven't posted for ages but I've never posted about this, like I said, it's a recent problem.

OP posts:
LimpidPools · 08/10/2019 13:21

This is deeply unpleasant. Your poor parents. They have my every sympathy.

I don't have any advice, but if the new chairperson is as rude, dismissive and hostile as their replies to you suggest then presumably they will currently be getting a lot of people's backs up.

Please continue to update - I think this is going to prey on my mind ☹

ShagMeRiggins · 08/10/2019 13:23

The new chair sounds like a complete dick and not at all suited to the role.

I’d call the police for any loud parties, I’d take it up with whatever council but would expect a snail-like response (sorry to any councillors, just speaking from personal experience), and I’d write a letter to the local village magazine if there is one. I’d be pretty damn blunt about the response from the Chair as well.

Never lived in a village that likes its older inhabitants shat on. People get outraged on their behalf (like on this thread) and general find a way to sort it out. To paraphrase Sean Connery in The Untouchables, “That’s the village way.”

Apolloanddaphne · 08/10/2019 13:24

That is awful. I have no advice but i hope you can get some resolution for your DP.

BlackCatSleeping · 08/10/2019 13:26

It might be worth popping into the local police station for a chat about the glass and everything. Maybe they’ll keep an eye out for you next weekend.

DarlingNikita · 08/10/2019 13:29

You need to report to the council. They’ll be interested in the curfew thing if nothing else. I’d get on to my MP too.

DarlingNikita · 08/10/2019 13:30

I meant to say ‘breaking the curfew’.

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