To share this with you as I cant tell my nearest and dearest

[Natsel84]

Aibu, I've never posted before and this is probably in the wrong place but.

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my 4th ivf baby loss ..

I'm feeling really sad .

Aibu to mark it by lighting a candle or taking time out to think of the 4th baby I've lost . I found a picture and although there arnt any words to describe how I feel . I thought this was quite fitting .

Aibu , what would you do ?

So sorry to hear - of course you're not being unreasonable - be kind to yourself xxx

You do what feels right for you, I think that sounds lovely.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable at all. A loss causes you to grieve. There’s no rule book for that. I am so very very sorry for your losses. That sounds almost unbearably hard. Be kind to yourself OP.

You do whatever you need to. Lots of love to you and yours from me x

I’m so sorry.
I’ve heard you grieve twice for babies lost before birth. Once for the baby you lost and once for the baby you never had.
Be kind to yourself. X

So very sad, condolences. Do whatever feels right to you, and do make some time to connect with your loss, you don't have to put a brave face on. for you

I'm sorry for your losses and you should do whatever helps you.

Why can't you discuss with anyone in RL?

Of course YANBU. I'm so sorry for your loss. Lighting a candle sounds lovely. Do whatever seems best.

🕯

Do what will help you.
I’m so sorry for your losses.

I am so sorry for your losses. Of course you are not unreasonable to grieve in whatever way you feel.

YADNBU I’m so sorry for your loss

I think it’s natural to want to mark it in a way that means something to you like lighting a candle.

Do you have a partner to share this with? Or if not, then can you confide in a close friend? It may help to talk about your loss

But be kind to yourself, don’t expect too much of yourself or put pressure of yourself.

YANBU at all. I am so very sorry, you have every right to mourn your precious baby

I'm sorry. That's so sad. 🌸

I'm so sorry.
Lighting a candle is a lovely idea.
Could you maybe get an extra special one?

We don’t get to pick and choose our tragedies. And we don’t get to decide how deeply affected we are about things that happen to us. Sometimes I’m shocked at how a small thing that’s upset me dominates my thoughts and affects my behaviour.

You are still dealing with this. It’s ok to do anything that makes you feel better or simply feels right to you.

Not unreasonable at all. It's very sad. Mark it however you wish. Hugs xxxxx

Sending you lots of positive thought and empathy.

I've lost 5 IVF babies. Did you know that every October 15th at 7 pm (the middle of baby loss awareness week) there is a 'wave of light' vigil for all babies who have died too soon? You light a candle for your lost babies and leave it burning for an hour. I always light six candles: one for each of my babies and one for the 4-month old my friend tragically lost.

I also follow #WaveOfLight on Twitter. For some reason it helps me, if only for one hour a year when the taboo of baby loss is broken, parents come together, and I just feel a little bit less isolated and alone.

I'm so sorry that you've also suffered this all-too common but devastating pain, and I hope you also find the way to remember your babies that feels right for you.

So so sorry.
Sending you an un-Mumsnetty hug.

I think it is a lovely idea op. You are entitled to grieve, it's very sad.

I do hope life improves for you.
and hug.

so sorry for your losses OP. So sad. Do what you can to make you feel like you are honoring them. I am sending you a hug and

Sending all my love to you and yours.
I light candles on the first Sunday in December to acknowledge all of those babies that don`t make it .
God bless you .

Thinking of you and will light a candle in church for you. It must be heart breaking for you.