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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I unreasonable to correct this?

189 replies

PablosHoney · 07/10/2019 17:15

I work for a school and a student came in today to make a statement/report about a ‘coloured girl’ her mum had told her to come and report the incident so I presume it was maybe mums words? I didn’t tell her off I just said that it was a word we don’t use any more and to leave it out of the statement. Was I wrong?

OP posts:
Ruefaro · 08/10/2019 09:43

Only on MN will you get a white person correct a black African on what something a black African is called in South Africa 🤣

nannybeach · 08/10/2019 09:43

I dont actually "see" any difference in skin tone, I have have friends who are just that, but yes, things keep changing, I have relatives in their 90s, I keep on saying to them "you cant say this that or the other", I had better not put on here, any of the words phrases they do actually say! I heard on the radio last year, "You are not allowed to say mixed race" but I cannot remember what you are supposed to say instead.

nannybeach · 08/10/2019 09:48

Oh, I think it was "duel nationality"

LemonPrism · 08/10/2019 09:51

@FelicityBeedle that is incorrect. Person of colour or woman of colour is sometimes preferred... coloured is vastly offensive even in the US.

LemonPrism · 08/10/2019 09:52

@FelicityBeedle that is incorrect. Person of colour or woman of colour is sometimes preferred... coloured is vastly offensive even in the US

@betternamepending @whiteredrose the term is black or mixed...

TheCanterburyWhales · 08/10/2019 09:53

What in the name of fuck has nationality got to do with it?

To all those mouthing at everybody else to read the thread, there are 2 issues in the OP really.

Was she U to correct the terminology used by the girl- probably not
Was she U to ask the girl to change her report- absolutely.

Ilovemypantry · 08/10/2019 09:54

@nannybeach
I think that is half the problem...the things that you are/are not “allowed” to say changes almost daily.

PickedByYou · 08/10/2019 09:55

CharlstonChaplin

I think you are missing the point of why the term coloured is still used in SA. (Also I've no idea why you think it was necessary to point out that people in SA who are coloured often have black ancestry etc - surely that's obvious 🤷🏻‍♀️).

People who are coloured in SA do not see themselves as black and black and white people in South Africa do not see them as black. There are officially over 5,000,000 people who are coloured in SA. They may not be a truly homogenous group but that doesn't mean that it's not important to differentiate them from other groups.

I only mentioned the use of the term coloured from SA usage on the off-chance the child in the OP had SA parents. I'm not knowledgable or articulate enough to argue about why it's ok to use in SA (just that it is!) - but if anyone is interested I'm sure they can research it if they wanted.

MerryMarigold · 08/10/2019 10:12

From my experience, 'coloured' in South Africa refers to Asians or mixed Asian.

Perhaps the parent in the OP was getting mixed up with 'persons of colour' which goes across the board covering anyone non white. It is an odd expression really and you think, which people are blue? Where is the pink and orange striped person? But it is what it is and in common usage (look at the reporting on Naga).

PetraRabbit · 08/10/2019 10:14

YABU to correct the word in an official report. You can put the words in speech marks "coloured" but you can't change it or you distort the facts reported. This is about basic accuracy, the same a police report would be.
Personally I wouldn't have corrected the word in speech either. It might not be the most popular current term but its still in use and these things change. I'd say if you're unsure enough about this to post on this forum for advice you can't be well informed enough to know the 'correct' current term. If it had been used aggressively eg. "I hate that bloody coloured girl" I would have said not to bring her origins into it, but that's a totally different matter.

Ilovemypantry · 08/10/2019 10:18

@MintyMabel
The poster who stated that she (or he) was not sure what the correct term is “at the moment” is absolutely right. These things DO change from time to time... perfect example is coloured/ person of colour.
The very fact that there are so many varying opinions on this thread shows how confused some people are.

Interestedwoman · 08/10/2019 10:18

You weren't wrong at all, you were right to correct it. I think people in the thread who think this is the preferred term are confused. Right on types use 'People of Colour' but not 'coloured.'

andyoldlabour · 08/10/2019 10:20

I am very confused about what terms/names we should use nowadays. Take this recent article from the London School of Economics.
Why is "people of colour" acceptable but "coloured people" is not?

blogs.lse.ac.uk/businessreview/2019/08/29/why-people-of-colour-are-on-their-guard-in-the-workplace/

Black History Month is currently being celebrated. Does Black History Month include "Brown" people or "White" people?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_History_Month

PetraRabbit · 08/10/2019 10:22

Pickedbyyou is correct about "coloured" in South Africa. It's amazing to see people here claiming it means "Asian" or "black" people over there. It's so easy to google. It refers to the community of multi ethnic people who are a mix of African, European, south Asian and east Asian. There are different groups in different areas but they all tend to speak Afrikaans and English but not the African languages. They happily identify as "coloured".

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 08/10/2019 10:30

My black friends are fine with that , black .

Wheat2Harvest · 08/10/2019 11:00

If the 'coloured' girl's name is known to the girl who reported her, and especially if she goes to the same school, there is no need to mention her ethnic origin at all.

If she is a stranger to the girl who reported her, then a description does need to include her ethnic origin as well as other factors - height, build, etc. - to enable her to be identified. 'X described the girl as 'coloured'' (in inverted commas) is factual, even if the word itself is outdated.

MintyMabel · 08/10/2019 12:54

These things DO change from time to time... perfect example is coloured/ person of colour.

🙄

Acceptable wording doesn't change that often. It's not a weekly occurrence. Your example is ridiculous because those are two different things.

As I said, there will be people who have their own preferred terminology and using a term accepted by many others might upset them. To conclude that means it's all just too confusing so people using wildly outdated terms are just confused is wrong. Suggesting there is a "term de jour" with the implication that people who face prejudice every day are just being fickle is wrong.

MerryMarigold · 08/10/2019 13:03

Your example is ridiculous because those are two different things.

Coloured = black
Person of colour = non white

But I am not actually sure how many people get this difference.

PettyContractor · 08/10/2019 13:41

I know that it is dated and it’s not PC these days, I just don’t understand why?

I think any term that is used in a hurtful or insulting context eventually becomes non-PC because of that. The same thing has happened with terms like "moron" etc. The problem is not the word, which could be innocently descriptive, it's the cultural baggage attached to it.

The reason "black" is resisting the same fate is that it was chosen by the people it describes to describe themselves. I suspect "people of colour" will survive for similar reasons, but also because it's too much of a mouthful to be used in an abusive way. (Being introduced in more-PC times also doesn't hurt.)

PettyContractor · 08/10/2019 13:45

Only on MN will you get a white person correct a black African on what something a black African is called in South Africa

If you factor in that the white person may be South African and the black person not, it may seem less surprising that the black person is wrong.

betternamepending · 08/10/2019 14:56

Coloured = black
Person of colour = non white

As a foreigner this difference in the English language is absolutely not clear.

JustForThisFred · 08/10/2019 15:12

You are not allowed to say mixed race" but I cannot remember what you are supposed to say instead. Oh, I think it was "duel nationality"

🤣🤣🙄

Dinosforall · 08/10/2019 15:18

I am white.

Re 'coloured'
HOW SLOW DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO FIND 25-YEARLY CHANGES IN ACCEPTED TERMINOLOGY CONFUSING?!

littlemeitslyn · 08/10/2019 15:28

What is a fucking biscuit, do they reproduce?

PickedByYou · 08/10/2019 16:53

@Ruefaro
Ruefaro
Only on MN will you get a white person correct a black African on what something a black African is called in South Africa 🤣

I'm not sure if you are referring to any of my posts or not but If you were you are talking absolute crap. I've not said what my own ethnicity is and I've not told anyone of any ethnicity what they should or shouldn't call themselves. All I've done is mention that coloured is an acceptable term IN South Africa.
BTW The last country wide census in South Africa was held in 2011 - people were asked to describe themselves in terms of five racial groups. 8.8% of the population described THEMSELVES as coloured. They could have opted to describe themselves as black if they had wanted to but they didn't.

Is that not ok with you?

Feel free to have a google. Here are a couple of egs.

Dept of Statistics Mid Year Population Estimates 2019
Wiki Ethnic Groups in South Africa

As I mentioned earlier the only reason I mentioned the use of the term coloured in SA was just in case the person who used term in the OP was South African themselves.