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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask your opinions on Home Educating

48 replies

TheMustressMhor · 07/10/2019 17:11

I have seen a lot of debate on MN about this and there is a wide variety of opinions.

Personally I wouldn't feel confident in my ability to give my DC a good education.

I know that many parents of DC with SEN are conflicted. There are obviously pros and cons to HE children.

Thoughts?

OP posts:

MissMarks · 07/10/2019 17:13

Wouldn’t be at all for me! children benefit a lot from being around peers, and I certainly don’t have the expertise to home educate well. Plus, financially it wouldn’t be viable and I also know I would be too laid back.

MrsDimmond · 07/10/2019 17:14

I have seen a lot of debate on MN about this and there is a wide variety of opinions.

So, what do you want from this thread? You will get exactly th same - a wide variety of opinions.

formerbabe · 07/10/2019 17:17

I think parents who do it must have the patience of a saint...

BouleBaker · 07/10/2019 17:20

We ended up Home Edding after my son had an awful school experience. I was scared going into it but it has honestly been the most amazing year. We have had fantastic education opportunities, found a wide network of weekly meet-ups for both structured activities and play and have met some fantastic people.

My son has earned science awards, drama awards and has completed the maths syllabus for 2 years above him. He’s also found a network of friends and we are out meeting people most days.

If you haven’t done it, or looked into the network near you then please don’t spout rubbish about “lack of socialisation” or “lack of opportunities”. Honestly we have had a more varied, interesting and engaging experience in home Ed than I would have thought possible.

Grasspigeons · 07/10/2019 17:21

I think its an important choice to have. So many children badly served by the one size fits all state offering.

bridgetreilly · 07/10/2019 17:26

I think it's a great thing when it's a positive choice. You don't usually do it all from scratch - there are lots of good resources and curricula to follow, so you don't have to know everything. And there's a strong emphasis on kids learning to think and research for themselves, too, as well as HE co-operatives which work together for some of the trickier subjects. All the home educated children I know from these kind of families are confident, well-socialised, articulate lovely people.

I think it's a terrible thing when people feel forced into it because the school system has let their child down. Children in this situation can end up with all kinds of problems, including a poor education, but the problems don't usually stem from the home education. They come from all the failures which led to that being the last choice left.

CarrieErbag · 07/10/2019 17:26

What @MrsDimmond said.
Someone started a thread similar to this a few weeks ago, claimed they were interested in how how eddin g worjed, why people did it etc.
Many home edders replied but OP didn't return after her first post iirc.
I do wonder if these threads are started with dubious intentions sometimes.

Original poster

TheMustressMhor · 07/10/2019 17:28

So, what do you want from this thread? You will get exactly th same - a wide variety of opinions

I suppose I should have been clearer in my OP - I think that children benefit from having companionship in learning when they go to school. There is also the social side of it.

I have also read some answers to other threads, written by people who HE - and they cannot seem to express themselves in English very well. I wondered how the system was regulate.

OP posts:

LolaSmiles · 07/10/2019 17:31

For me, it can be the best thing for some children and a terrible thing for others.

I don't buy the "oh but how do they socialise" criticisms, but do have reservations of the education levels of some parents who choose to home educate, especially when it seems to be a negative response to the system, or based on 'just follow their interests' or unschooling.

Original poster

TheMustressMhor · 07/10/2019 17:32

@CarrieErbag

I did not start this thread with dubious intentions. I am interested in people's opinions on this topic, that's all.

My DC left school a good while ago so it is no longer on the cards for them - not that it ever was, as I worked when they were at school, as did DH.

OP posts:

seaweedandmarchingbands · 07/10/2019 17:32

I suppose I should have been clearer in my OP - I think that children benefit from having companionship in learning when they go to school. There is also the social side of it.

Some do. Some children are HE because they have been horrifically bullied at school.

Original poster

TheMustressMhor · 07/10/2019 17:34

That should be:

I wondered how the system was regulated.

Looks like I cannot express myself in written English, either...

OP posts:

Original poster

TheMustressMhor · 07/10/2019 17:36

I wonder how often it happens that parents decide to HE when they have arguments with their DC's school which cannot be resolved.

OP posts:

poppycity · 07/10/2019 17:36

there is no one size fits all approach to this. I think it's wonderful for many families, and not the right fit for others. Same with traditional schooling. I've known of withdrawn, unhappy children who couldn't click with their year group and became socially phobic, thrive home educating, make friends, overcome barriers and re-enter traditional education years later a different person. But I also don't think home education should only be for struggling kids. It's a choice one can't take lightly but can absolutely be wonderful for all involved. Some of the most well socialized, friendly, smart and engaged kids I've met are home educated.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 07/10/2019 17:37

I wonder how often it happens that parents decide to HE when they have arguments with their DC's school which cannot be resolved.

Reasonably frequently. But what do you suggest?

NerrSnerr · 07/10/2019 17:40

It would only hone Ed as a last resort as I don't think I can offer some of the opportunities that school offers (and can offer what I would be good at teaching when I'm with the children anyway). Of course there's the issue of working. I'm not sure we could afford to have a SAHP and pay for exams. I'd never say never though as you don't know what the future holds.

CarrieErbag · 07/10/2019 17:40

@TheMustressMhor Then I shall take you at your word
Don't over estimate the 'companionship in learning' and social aspect, if I told you what my dc went through at school, you'd be horrified.
As for regulation, my experience has been there isn't much, so yes some children might be let down.
My dc took her GCSEs this summer, got 8 cracking grades.
It has been stressful, expensive, but for us it was our only option.

TeenPlusTwenties · 07/10/2019 17:40

Some people HE out of principle
Some people HE because schools aren't working for their child

I would have considered HE if school hadn't worked for mine, but I'm very pleased it has worked out and I only need to supplement.

I do think the all HE should have to 'register' so the LA knows. At the moment if you just don't apply for formal schooling you can go under the radar.

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/10/2019 17:42

Entirely depends on the parent and the motivation as to the quality of the education - which is the part I suppose I have concerns about. Educated parents who are concerned their children are not thriving in mainstream education / not having SEN met / being bullied / receiving poor quality education are going to be able to HE their DC more effectively and appropriately than parents who choose to HE for religious reasons / because they don’t want their children taught a mainstream curriculum / because they mistrust “authority” etc.

Sockwomble · 07/10/2019 17:42

Sometimes there is no choice. The child gets excluded from or advised to leave mainstream and there is nowhere else for them to go.

MrsDimmond · 07/10/2019 17:56

I suppose I should have been clearer in my OP - I think that children benefit from having companionship in learning when they go to school. There is also the social side of it.

I have also read some answers to other threads, written by people who HE - and they cannot seem to express themselves in English very well. I wondered how the system was regulate.

So, a thread to criticise home education and home educators.

Goady and unnecessary.

Original poster

TheMustressMhor · 07/10/2019 17:57

@seaweedandmarchingbands

I'm not suggesting for a moment that HE is wrong when children have had bad experiences at school.

I actually think it's terrible when the parents feel they have no other option.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheMustressMhor · 07/10/2019 17:58

@MrsDimmond

I apologise. I wasn't trying to be goady at all. I'm sorry it came across in that way.

OP posts:

MrsDimmond · 07/10/2019 17:59

I'm not suggesting for a moment that HE is wrong when children have had bad experiences at school.

But then you are clearly suggesting it's "wrong" in other circumstances

Clangus00 · 07/10/2019 18:07

I would love to HE our DD but it’s not practical for us right now.

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