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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to move desperately now

68 replies

HKM94 · 07/10/2019 09:24

Hi all ☺️

I am just wanting some advice really on whether I am being IABU. We bought a 4 bed house last year after finding out we were expecting our DD, we were first time buyers so we found a house that we love and had lots of potential! The house has an annexe as well as 4 bedrooms and it has building permission for an extension between the house and the annexe so we would be set for life with space needs.

The issue is the back of the house is rough but the front of the house is lovely (DP and I absolutely adore our neighbours) The back of the house constantly has people smoking and drinking outside of it, there is a constant smell of weed coming from the properties and there are children running amock till after midnight! They climb on our 6 foot fence all the time as there is a path blocked off by our garden fence that leads to the local park! We constantly tell them to get down but we get told to f* off! 😕 we are parents so we always show concern for the children and tell them to get down so they don’t hurt themselves but they just laugh. The last straw was that yesterday when I was trying to put DP down for a nap there was a knock on the door, it was the police! They started looking round the whole house, I could tell they felt bad when they saw me with my baby bump holding my DD (I am currently 21 weeks pregnant) they said they had an anonymous report of a smell of cannabis coming from the property.. I was shocked & now I don’t want to live here as I believe it was malicious as we keep ourselves to ourselves (both sides of the house are council owned.. front is elderly bungalows and the back are terraced houses)

We would struggle to get a higher mortgage in a nicer area or we could if we were to give up the size of our property and move somewhere a lot lot smaller.

So my AIBU is should DP and I stay in our current property or sell it and financially strain ourselves to move into a nicer area so that our children can grow up in a safer area where the police don’t come knocking?

OP posts:

ThreeLittleDots · 07/10/2019 13:00

Did anyone see their ID? Do the police have no record of the visit, or no record of the complaint, or both?

LakieLady · 07/10/2019 13:05

I again am amazed that the police would search a house for a report of a smell of weed. Where I work you just get high from entering certain estates

Me too. Where I live they'd have to treble the number of officers if they started doing that.

Passthecherrycoke · 07/10/2019 13:05

You didn’t have the let the police in, don’t next time.

On the contrary I think the police coming round for something fairly minor is a good sign- obviously there isn’t that much going on!

Rather than move I would engage with the police for advice and engage in anti asb measures- ie anti climb paint. Maybe start a neighbourhood watch?

cacklingmags · 07/10/2019 13:16

I would move. You can protect the property to a fair degree but you really want to live somewhere that you feel good about your kids playing with the local kids. It could be a rough catchment area. Even if you go private for school this could be an issue.

CallMeRachel · 07/10/2019 14:58

Hi all.. well I’ve called the police to request further information about the report of cannabis and worryingly they have no record of it.. the officer on the phone said it could be a face to face report or some other version of a report.. I was thinking well I’m pretty sure if they attended someone’s property they should make a note of it 😕

Well that's rather worrying...

Can you ask your dh for further details on if their was a marked car and uniforms?

Passthecherrycoke · 07/10/2019 15:02

Honestly the chances of someone dressing up as a police officer to look round the OPs house (then leaving without anything happening) are tiny. More likely because you allowed them to come in it’s not needed any paperwork and therefore hasn’t been recorded or hasn’t yet been recorded.

LakieLady · 07/10/2019 15:30

well I’ve called the police to request further information about the report of cannabis and worryingly they have no record of it..

So they came round, alleging that there'd been a complaint about cannabis, of which there is no record, and therefore no record of them searching your house? Surely they should log a house search, even if it's done with the resident's consent?

If someone else complains about a smell of weed tomorrow, you could get another pair of plods round, wanting to do it all again, OP, and there's absolutely no evidence that it was done today.

Jeez, I work for a housing association and even our record keeping's better than that.

LakieLady · 07/10/2019 15:32

More likely because you allowed them to come in it’s not needed any paperwork and therefore hasn’t been recorded or hasn’t yet been recorded.

Good job OP hasn't kept them locked up in the cellar then, the force would have no idea where they were!

Passthecherrycoke · 07/10/2019 15:36

? Because they haven’t logged their notebook yet they might’ve been abducted? The note book isn’t how the police force keep track of their officers

Rachelover60 · 07/10/2019 15:49

You're not unreasonable. Is there no way you can build a wall around the back garden to stop people intruding? Houses that have public thoroughfares through their gardens are always difficult but you haven't said that is the case with you.

I'm really sorry about the police visit, that must have been so upsetting for you.

It might be best to move, I know that isn't easy but do look around and see what you can find that is more suitable and work out what you'll get for your present home.

Good luck

LakieLady · 07/10/2019 16:36

Because they haven’t logged their notebook yet they might’ve been abducted? The note book isn’t how the police force keep track of their officers

Is that still how things are done? That's rather quaint. I thought they might be using slightly techier methods these days.

Passthecherrycoke · 07/10/2019 16:44

How do you think they take notes on the move? Laptop?

Original poster

HKM94 · 07/10/2019 16:57

I’ve had a call from the police officer that attended and he confirmed that it was an anonymous online report which was filled in so there wouldn’t be any report of it on the phone system.

He said the way it was worded didn’t sound malicious as it said there was a smell of cannabis coming from the area around our property and the black out blind we had recently taken down had been reported as suspicious also and we’ve recently moved in the area 😕

Basically what I’m thinking is now my family and I are a bloody scapegoat for the druggies at the back. They may have been worried that somebody would come round to their house or they had been questioned so they thought they would drop us in it instead. The blind has been down for weeks so I think it would be weird that it would have been reported about this week 😕

I spoke to my neighbour who I get along really well with and she confirmed they had a proper police car (you just can’t see it from the front of our house as there is parking down by the side of her house which we can’t see)

OP posts:

FavouriteSong · 07/10/2019 18:42

Why on earth didn't your DH tell the police about the problems you are having with your neighbours? Missed opportunity there.

Original poster

HKM94 · 07/10/2019 19:56

@FavouriteSong- we don’t have any direct issues with the neighbours though. We have kids from all different areas of the estate climbing down the side of fence so we can’t track that & we’ve never had a direct issue with any of the houses behind us.. there is just a constant smell of weed coming from the back 🙁

OP posts:

BatshitBertha · 07/10/2019 20:15

Yes, I'd be moving straight away, I'd also be encouraging DH to scale back his hobby in order for us to fit in a smaller house in a better area.

Maneandfeathers · 07/10/2019 20:49

We chose small house good location and are saving to buy bigger here rather than getting a bigger house in a rubbish area.

Move OP, it sounds like hell and it won’t be good for your children.

TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 19:33

Good job OP hasn't kept them locked up in the cellar then, the force would have no idea where they were!

They wait for anyone who takes their officers hostage to helpfully post back the notebooks so they can piece together their last known movements.

It might sound old fashioned, but it’s a quiet area where blackout blinds and vague whiffs justify police search warrants (off the books, natch)

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