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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how this affair will work out?

54 replies

Usernamemcname · 05/10/2019 09:56

My bf has just been left by her husband for his married colleague, every cliche going! They work in the same team in the finance industry, socialise only with other people from work, exercise together and now they're going to get a little flat together till the divorces are finalised.
How could this possibly end well for them? They've got no one, most of their friends and family have turned their backs due to the shocking way they treated their spouses. They are also going to end up spending all their time together, which might kill the passion quite quickly. Oh and they have no money as they've both offered to keep paying half of the bills for their ex's.
My friend isn't on MN and she keeps asking me how this is going to work out for him.

OP posts:
GinNotGym19 · 05/10/2019 14:22

I agree with hiddenworlds
Also his guilt will wear off VERY quickly then he’ll be coming up with stupid reasons he had no choice to have an affair. That’s when he’ll stop paying the bills like I said earlier. It’s all wrong but happens.

Icantthinkofanewname87 · 05/10/2019 14:31

Of course it could end well and it frequently does! If they are really in love then they can be happy. I spend all my time with my partner (didn’t meet while cheating though!) and it’s only made us stronger. I know you want to believe it can’t end well but it can and it might. They obviously feel strongly enough about each other to throw their previous lives away. In time family and friends will get over it, they always do. In time they’ll stop paying for their exes. In time one will get a promotion or a new job, whatever. Their exact situation now isn’t how their life will be forever. I know you’re concerned for your friend but I think you’re really rooting for them to fail and realistically I find that often the people you’re rooting to fail don’t fail! Please help your friend concentrate on her own life moving forward and not obsessing over her exes new life as if she’s overly invested in that then she may well be very hurt and disappointed if and when it all works out well for them.

Mummybares · 05/10/2019 18:10

At this stage its hardly an affair theyve ended things with their spouses and have made living arrangements. Most affairs dont go this far so its actually promising.

elizalovelace · 05/10/2019 19:16

Not having outside support from others will possibly make them much stronger as a couple....'them against the world' so to speak. Families come round eventually anyway.
Ive known couples who have started out as affair partners who have very happy successful relationships and also those who have gone on to cheat on each other. Every relationship is different.
Sadly for your friend he no longer loved her or wanted to be with her, he loves someone else now. I hope your friend comes to terms with this soon and picks herself up and has a great future.

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