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AIBU?

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Original poster

8yo son to still wear night pants?

45 replies

Getonboard · 05/10/2019 07:04

My son still wears night pants, he sometimes wets them but not always. Two to three times.
I have tried to take them away but he gets anxious and it affects his sleep because he's worried about wetting the bed.
His dad says he's too big for them. I wet the bed sometimes at the same age, but I was heavily criticized for it and punished as if I could help it.
I don't make an issue of his night wetting,I don't say anything really I just say,don't worry about it.
He's a very heavy sleeper. Anyway is it unreasonable for him to wear pull ups still?

OP posts:
Original poster
Getonboard · 05/10/2019 07:04

Two to three times a week he wets them I mean.

OP posts:
Salene · 05/10/2019 07:08

I would be seeing my gp and getting the hormone drug they give children to help start the hormone responsible for suppressing the need to urinate when sleeping , they normally prescribe it to over 5's if they are still bed wetting.

FerreroRocherAreAmazing · 05/10/2019 07:10

It's called desmopressin. It helps the wetting. You start off on 1 and if he is still wet then increase to 2 a night. Hope that helps. Dont worry about it. It's really common. Xx

Aroundnabout1 · 05/10/2019 07:10

Only thing that worked for us was the sleep mat that has an alarm go off when it gets peed on. It took a couple of messy weeks then they were fine. I think its sometimes a bit of a habit with the child.

PhilCornwall1 · 05/10/2019 07:12

I wouldn't worry about it. We let our boys make the decision when they stopped wearing them at night and they are fine (well at 17 and 12 you hope they would be! Smile).

It's less stress and they have a good nights sleep. I wouldn't overthink it at all.

ibanez0815 · 05/10/2019 07:17

do you have an incontinence nurse?

We saw ours for a similar problem (turned out DC didn't drink enough during the day so the bladder never learned to hold a decent amount of urine, hence the bed wetting). we were out on a drinking schedule which sorted it but next step would have been desmopressin.

it's definitely worth seeing GP/incontinence team. it may be very easy to fix.

Original poster
Getonboard · 05/10/2019 07:19

Thanks, his dad says he's too big and doesn't need them and I'm being soft,but I'm just thinking, I grew out of it so he will too.
He just doesn't have sleepovers at his friends because he feels embarrassed if they found out he wears night pants.
So I'm aware he's self conscious of it that's why I don't make a big deal about wetting them. I'm not sure about giving him drugs right now I don't want him on medication really if it's not serious.
I'm just wondering how many other 8 year olds wear the pull ups?

OP posts:
Original poster
Getonboard · 05/10/2019 07:20

I've never took him to the doctor because I just put it down to still growing, and everyone's different. I'm only making an issue now because his dad's making an issue about it, and it's got me wondering.

OP posts:
Shinygreenelephant · 05/10/2019 07:24

My 10 year old still wets the bed maybe once a week / every other week. I stopped pull ups at 5, her choice. We tried desmopressin for a while, helps while she's on it but don't want her on it long term and it came back when she stopped them. Not a big deal, she will grow out of it in the end and so will your son. Do whatever works for you xx

Ispywithmycynicaleye · 05/10/2019 07:26

My DS wet the bed until he was 12. He was seen at the enuresis clinic for years. The tablets only worked the first couple of nights for him then they stopped working. The mat alarm didnt work either, he just slept through it (I didnt luckily).
His doctor at the enuresis clinic changed and he asked about my DS's drinking habits and were advised to make sure DS drinks plenty through the day as studies showed this reduced bed wetting (that's when I realised DS hardly ever drank anything during the day). It worked. He pretty much stopped wetting the bed over night.

Lindy2 · 05/10/2019 07:27

Well just taking away the night pants isn't likely to stop the wetting is it. What's your husband's plan for when the bed needs stripping and changing in the night 3 times a week?
We had great success with a bed wetting alarm. We went from wet most nights to completely dry in under 3 weeks. DD just needed to learn the skill of waking from a heavy sleep if she needed the toilet.
Sometimes it is also hormonal and a GP can refer you for more specialised help.

AppropriateAdult · 05/10/2019 07:30

I'm just wondering how many other 8 year olds wear the pull ups?

Probably more than you think. It’s very common. Most GPs won’t do anything about it before the age of 7 because it is seen as quite normal until then, and it’s certainly not unusual for it to go a bit beyond that age. If it’s not currently a problem for anyone but your husband then I don’t think you should change things.

Belfield · 05/10/2019 07:51

Our son was in pull ups when he was five/six. We thought he would just grow out of it but didn’t seem to. We used alarm pants. The alarm goes off when pee hits the pants . Took about two weeks to sort. First week we were up with him three times a night. It was fully sorted after the two weeks. Not a single accident in the last three years. You may have tried that already though.

MassDebate · 05/10/2019 08:10

I think it’s pretty common. My 8yo wets around 3-4 times per week - often just his pyjamas so not a full bed wet, but enough to still be an issue. He sometimes wears night pull ups which helps him relax, but prefers not to. He’s a very deep sleeper. I’ve been thinking about seeing a GP tbh but torn between forcing the issue and leaving him to grow out of it.

Original poster
Getonboard · 05/10/2019 08:15

I haven't tried an alarm mat because I don't want to disturb his sleep. Well thanks for the replies everyone, I'll just see how it goes for now. It seems it's not uncommon! Well my husband thinks if the bed is wet then our son will wake up and not like the wet bed, so stop wetting it.
But we have tried that in the past and he just sleeps in it and doesn't wake up anyway.
It's reassuring to know it's not a major issue and other people are the same.

OP posts:
Shylo · 05/10/2019 08:16

I don’t see the big deal about wearing them, it’s so much better than stripping wet beds in the night .... my son wore them til he was almost 8, we took them off when we we hadn’t had wet pants for a month and it’s been fine ever since. My friends daughter still wore them at 10 - given pants in this size are readily available in shops it’s clearly a fairly common issue

If your son is becoming self conscious I’d go to the doctor and at least discuss true options - for us, we weren’t that bothered, knew he’d grow out of it and just stuck with the pants.

Rubychard · 05/10/2019 08:20

My son was 11 when he became dry at night.

I would ask your gp for a referral to the continence nurse.

TooMinty · 05/10/2019 08:21

The largest size of Huggies Dry Nites is age 8-15 and they are widely available in supermarkets and chemists so I'm guessing it's pretty common not to be dry at that age? My DS is 7 and still in pull-ups at night, always wet in the morning. He doesn't seem bothered by wearing them so I'm not in a rush to stop.

Patchworksack · 05/10/2019 08:22

Contact the charity ERIC. NICE guidelines now recommend intervention for night wetting from five years old, so while it's certainly not unusual I do think your husband is correct that you should be seeking some help to address it.

CecilyP · 05/10/2019 08:26

Is he just worried about wetting the bed or does he actually wet the bed if he isn’t wearing one?

NicEv · 05/10/2019 08:28

I think it is something you should be seeking medical advice about . You know that he is self conscious about it and it is stopping him from being able to do sleepovers. I don’t think you should just take the pull ups away but neither do I think you should just do nothing - it’s unusual for an 8 year old to be in pull ups at night and as his parents you should be seeking specialist advice to try to help him get to a point where he can stop wearing them . Of course you shouldn’t punish or shame him - but there are specialists who can offer advice and support and hopefully help him and as his parent you should be making sure he has access to that.

HumptyDumptyHadAGreatFall · 05/10/2019 08:30

I'm just wondering how many other 8 year olds wear pull ups

I can't imagine it's many! Sorry I agree with your husband, unless he has any SN? Otherwise I think 8 is far too old for nappies. Maybe no drinks an hour before bed to begin with?

Neome · 05/10/2019 08:32

Try www.eric.org.uk too

Starfish28 · 05/10/2019 08:35

I don’t think it’s a big deal. My son wore pull ups until 7. I won’t break under pressure from your husband. He is obviously dry some of the time. We were lucky and didn’t need to intervene beyond just accepting he would grow out of it. I think it’s really common and you are doing the right thing.

Mintypea5 · 05/10/2019 08:38

My 7yr old still has them. He's getting better although getting up for a wee seems to have resulted in sleep walking.

We've been to the dr who told me they wouldn't see him before 7 went back when he was 7 and was told to come back after Xmas of no improvement & they'd think about next steps